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Sneak Peak Sunday: Dream in Color

2012-02-12T14:07:00.000-06:00

Hello Friends! Last week I gave you a taste of my first novel, Dream in Color. I figured, it was only fair to sort of start you at the beginning this week...so here it is: Chapter one. Enjoy!

“Good morning beautiful, beautiful, Ramona.”

Ramona keeps her eyes closed. This is her favorite part of the day, when Jesse wakes her. She curls her toes between the satin sheets and waits for him to touch her.

“I brought you something special this morning.”

Eyes still closed, Ramona stretches her arms over her head and sinks deeper into the pile of goose down pillows. “What did you bring me?”

“See if you can tell.” He passes something beneath her nose. Ramona closes her eyes tightly, fighting the urge to peak and ruin the surprise. No easy feat, because she loves Jesse’s cooking and something smells too tempting to resist. He hasn’t touched her, but it’s all part of their ritual, a ritual they’d started the first morning after they were married.

“Hmm. Bacon?”

“Not even close.”

She sniffs a little. “I don’t know. Bring it closer.”

“I’ll give you a hint. It’s always been your favorite.”

The smell grows stronger and Ramona lets herself sink into the lazy loveliness of it all. Jesse waves the plate of wonderful smells closer now, and something wet touches her cheek.

“I’m not sure, Jesse. What is it?”

“It’s deep fried cheese curds my love. Your favorite. And it’s seven forty three on a snowy, blowy Monday morning. If you’re supposed to be at work at eight, and you’re still in bed, you’re probably going to be late.”

Ramona Simms snapped one eye open and then another. Gone was Jesse Alexander, former teen pop star, her Prince Charming, her ultimate dream date. In his place was Leo, her eleven-year-old poodle/bulldog mutt, licking her face as the clock radio blared the morning weather report and, worst of all, the time. She squinted at the blurry red numbers while slapping her hand on the nightstand vainly searching for her glasses. The numbers on the clock confirmed her worst fears.

“Shit!” She flung back the tattered quilt on her bed, shoving Leo off her in the process. “Leo, I’m late, again! Celia’s going to be seriously pissed this time!” She staggered to the kitchen and let Leo out the back door.

Her next stop was the bathroom, where she evaluated her reflection in the mirror. “Aren’t I a vision?” She yanked three silvery strands of hair away from her shoulder length brunette locks. “It may be time for hair color. Unless I can pass these off as blonde highlights?” Grinning at the thought, Ramona jerked a brush through her hair and brushed her teeth. “That’s going to have to do this morning.” She gave the air a sniff. “Eww. Deodorant isn’t going to be enough today. Must have perfume!”

She rummaged in the vanity drawer in vain for something resembling perfume. “Oh screw it!” She ran back to her bedroom and dragged the first dress that came to her hand out of the closet.

Simultaneously kicking off her ratty sweat shorts and pulling on a blue dress that hadn’t been in style for more than ten years, and hadn’t fit her properly in five, Ramona caught a glance of herself in the full-length mirror. “Cellulite. Never leave home without it.” She flung the shorts off the end of her toes and flung her hair out of her eyes. “Well, there’s not much I can do about that now, is there? I’m over thirty-five, I’m overweight, and I’m going to be over late if I don’t get a move on.” She gave her control top pantyhose a short, ferocious yank and let the skirt drop past her waist. It got stuck around her hips, of course. Ramona wiggled her size sixteen rear at the mirror and the skirt fell into place.

She stomped through the living room back into the kitchen and jerked open the door. Leo skittered in, shaking snowflakes off his curly brown coat. “Leo, I gotta run. You sure you’re done outside?” She gave her dog a stern look. “I don’t want the house stinking when I get home.”

Leo, named after Ramona’s favorite Jesse Alexander song, gave her a solemn, brown-eyed look that melted her heart every time. As much as the furry, lumpy dog’s furious flatulence annoyed her, she adored him. He was really her one true love, farts and all.

“I’m going to Mom’s for dinner tonight.” Ramona smiled when Leo licked his nose with his ample tongue and whined. “So you won’t be coming with me?” Ramona rubbed Leo’s broad head, setting in motion several rolls of fur-covered skin. “Be good.”

She grabbed her coat and boots out of the front closet, and paused, as she did every day, in front of the autographed picture sitting on the piano. “Well Jesse, I’m off for another glamorous day at work.” She touched the smiling face with her index finger. “Unless you’re standing next to my car, in which case I’ll be jetting off someplace with you.”

One last touch to the picture and she whipped through the kitchen, grabbing the keys that hung on the hook next to the door. Jesse Alexander was not standing in her driveway, so, resigned to another day of life as a normal person, Ramona slammed the rusty door of her longsuffering Ford Tempo and turned up the car stereo, the first strains of “Leo” crackling out of the protesting speakers as the windshield wipers creaked in protest against the blustery, snow-laden wind.

As she drove slowly on the tree-lined roads of Cobia, Wisconsin, Ramona reminded herself that the town itself wasn’t so bad. What started out as a booming submarine-building city on Lake Michigan during World War II mellowed nicely into a collection of thirty-thousand souls, all fighting the inevitable march towards becoming a sleepy tourist town for harried executives from Chicago. Forever frozen in the 1940’s, downtown Cobia looked more like a movie set and less like place where actual people lived real lives every day. Maybe because of the aura of the past that clung to Cobia, the whole town seemed far smaller than most cities of the same size. Ramona didn’t mind the feeling that everyone knew her business. She had no business to know.

No, it was the job. Ramona tried to keep her mind off L.M.I., where she’d worked for nearly a decade, tapping out data entry numbers like some frantic distress signal to anyone bored enough to approach her tiny, corner cubicle. She parked her rusted vehicle in the only parking space left, the one furthest from the door. In spite of the snow, as she walked toward the building, Ramona’s pace grew slower and more measured, as if even her feet were dreading another day at L. M. I. International.

“Who the hell moved my headset?” Bonnie, the long time receptionist, had a phone voice that sounded like smooth jazz, but that’s where the charm ended. Her regular voice matched her worn out, cigarette smoking, teased hair persona much better, and she wasn’t nearly as polite to the office personnel as she was on the phone. “If that headset isn’t on my desk in ten seconds I swear I will find out who took it and I will take great pleasure in drowning them in packing peanuts back in shipping!” She looked up at Ramona. “Hey there Sunshine. Good of you to join us today. And if you’re planning on taking the tour to your desk, might I suggest taking the roundabout way, through production and past the restrooms? I told Celia it was your time of the month and you were probably in one of the restrooms not feeling well.” Bonnie looked Ramona up and down. “And that shouldn’t be a hard fib to pull off since you look like hell.”

Ramona shook the last snowflakes off her coat and hung it in the front closet. “Thanks for the vote of confidence. I overslept and I’m parked in outer Siberia.”

Bonnie raised an over-plucked eyebrow at her. “And yet, you’re not looking pissed. Which means something good happened to you last night. Get lucky?”

Ramona looked over her shoulder in case her supervisor was near. Celia Yasher was a cold woman, eternally clad in severe business suits with a hairstyle and personality to match. Worse for Ramona, Celia seemed to have a perverse delight in scolding her, especially, for any minor infraction.

Certain the hall was clear, Ramona leaned over the counter. “I got ‘Reflections in Blue.’”

“You didn’t!” Bonnie softened and looked impressed. “That disk was like forty bucks or something, right?”

“Yeah, it went to fifty, and I’ll be eating ramen noodles for a week, but I don’t care. It’s Jesse’s last recording before he retired. I just had to have it.”

“You are the girl who makes eBay go ‘round. Aha!” Bonnie uncovered her headset from a pile of FedEx envelopes. “It figures. I’m gone one afternoon and that temp shoves my headset in the mailers.” She squashed it down over her hopelessly stiff bouffant. “Doll, if you’re not his truest fan, then I don’t know who is.” Bonnie let loose a smoky cough. “I always liked that Jesse Alexander. He was an easy one to look at.”

Short clicks on the resilient tile announced the arrival of Celia to the office, and Ramona skittered around the receptionist’s desk. “I totally agree.” She grinned at Bonnie before slipping down the hall to the poolroom.

The “poolroom” was a large warehouse-sized room filled with endless cubicles from which rose the rhythmic sound of clacking as rows and rows of data entry specialists, secretaries, and filing clerks tracked every item shipped to and from L.M.I. Ramona’s cube was in the farthest corner, a space cut off from the rest of the pool by a support column, and mostly unheated, but Ramona rarely complained. Very few people passed by her desk, and even fewer bothered her. Her job as the Quality Control Records Clerk was dull and uninspiring, but it did nothing to invade her eight-hour-long daydreams of Jesse. Just the way Ramona liked it.

Just ahead of Celia, Ramona dashed to her desk and tossed her lunch bag into the bottom drawer. With practiced accuracy, she slipped her feet out of the battered sneakers she wore to work and into the pinching pumps she kept under her desk for those multiple moments in the day when Celia, the office cop, inspected each and every clicking clacking cubicle for company policy outlaws.

“Good morning, Ramona. Just getting in?”

Ramona looked up from her stack of shipping orders and gave her supervisor a look of vacant innocence. “I’ve been here for ten minutes, Celia. Got in at eight on the dot, like always. Just not feeling well,” she lowered her voice, “it’s that time, you know, and the ladies room is out of personal items. So I went back to the production rest room.”

“Out of personal items? That cleaning crew! That’s it! I will be calling their manager today and I’ll have three new companies tour the place by the end of the week.”

“Oh, wait Celia, maybe the machine was just jammed or something. You don’t have to-”

Celia turned icy eyes on her. “You really shouldn’t defend shoddy workmanship, Ramona. If we are willing to accept substandard workmanship in others, then it’s not a long fall to substandard performances on our own part. Wouldn’t you agree, Ramona?”

Ramona cringed at the way Celia dragged out her name. “I’m just saying that before you go firing anyone, maybe you should double check. I could have made a mistake, or the machine could be jammed or something.” She swallowed and tried to look pathetic and weak. “I’m not feeling at all well today.”

“Fine, I will check the machine myself.” Celia sniffed and looked hard at Ramona’s outfit. “What are we wearing today?” Celia raised a sharp, drawn-in eyebrow at her.

Ramona’s shoulders tensed. Every morning the same question, the same inspection, the same erosion of self-esteem spewed from Celia’s mouth and covered Ramona like hot, sticky lava. “I can’t speak for you, but let’s see, I’m wearing uncomfortable shoes, circulation-stifling pantyhose, itchy skirt, and lung crushing foundation garments. Do I pass muster?”

“You know,” Celia poked a long, well-manicured nail at her, “that smart mouth has no place here. It’s bad for morale.”

“Well, you’re the expert on being bad for morale.” Ramona started shuffling papers and looking generally busy.

Celia blinked, analyzing Ramona‘s comment but apparently did not find the insult. “Filing needs the Bio-West order by noon.”

“Filing shall have the Bio-West order by noon. I have it right here.” Ramona held up a thick stack of flimsy green shipping orders. “It’s my first order of business.”

“It should be.” Celia’s eyes, restrained by enormous horn-rimmed glasses, stopped their search as they fell on the small personal CD player on Ramona’s desk. “We’re still listening to our own music, I see.”

Ramona sighed. Celia was never quite satisfied until she’d sucked every bit joy from the person to whom she was speaking. “Yes, Celia, we are. You know it helps me concentrate, and I don’t disturb a soul.”

“I don’t like it.” Celia sniffed the air as if sensing another infraction in a cubicle far, far away. “It doesn’t look professional.”

Ramona looked around her tiny space and shook her head. “Well, besides you and the guy from shipping who drops off the shipping orders, who sees me?”

“Just don’t ever let Mr. Anderson catch you with them on.” Celia brushed her hands against each other, as if washing them of all guilt for such a transgression. “Just because you’ve been an employee here longer than any of the other girls in this department, that doesn’t guarantee you any special treatment from him.”

“I wouldn’t think of it.” Ramona kept a pleasant look on her face, praying Celia would leave. Sniffing one more time, Celia left the cubicle without another word. Ramona reached into her bottom drawer where she kept her CD’s, and thumbed through the collection.

“Did Vampira draw any blood this morning?”

Ramona looked up and into the plain, honest face of Neil Horton. Neil, like Ramona, had grown up in Cobia and now worked as head of the accounting department for L.M.I. He was the perfect stereotype for his position, from his thinning, dull brown hair to his long, narrow nose to the squinty, near-sighted way he studied anyone to whom he spoke. The joke around the office was that no one needed a weatherman. Anyone who wanted to know what the weather was going to be just had to see what Neil Horton was wearing. If it was a bland button-down oxford shirt, it was a warm day. If he had a sweater vest over the oxford, it was a touch chilly. If Neil wore a cardigan sweater, it was a brutally cold day. The closer he got to his fortieth birthday, the more predictable his wardrobe was.

High school pals, Ramona and Neil had gone to separate colleges, and had lost touch as Neil started his career with L.M.I. and Ramona attempted a life away from Cobia. It was Neil who got her a job when she came back home and it was Neil who stopped by her workstation every day with a smile and a candy bar. It was a friendship that Ramona simultaneously treasured and took for granted.

“You know, whenever she drops by, it’s the only time I ever admit maybe my mother was right.” Ramona pulled an industrial sized bottle of hand lotion out of her middle desk drawer and began her morning ritual of limbering her fingers for another brutal day on the computer. Taking good care of her hands was the only carry-over habit from her years, in the very distant past, of chasing a career as a musician.

“How’s that?” Neil perched on the edge of her desk.

“If I’d gotten an accounting degree, you’d be my supervisor, I would be in an office where the heat and air conditioning actually reach the desks, and I wouldn’t have to squeeze my ever widening rear end into these ridiculous clothes. I could wear jeans and comfortable shoes just like all the guys in your office do.”

“Well, we’d welcome you, that’s for sure. And your rear end is just fine.”

A rare awkward silence hung between them as Ramona looked at him in surprise.

“I mean, I mean you’d be fine in whatever you wanted to wear.” Neil ran a hand through his perfectly straight hair and blushed beneath the wire-rimmed glasses balanced on his long, bony nose.

“Well, thanks Neil.”

“Oh, hey, here you go. Thought I’d bring you a snack.” He handed her a Kit-Kat bar, her favorite.

“Neil. Thanks.” She smiled at him and set the candy bar next to her keyboard. “It’s nice to know I’ve got you anyway.”

“Of course you do...have me. As a friend, I mean.” He pushed up his glasses on his nose, something he did whenever embarrassed.

“Well, I gotta get at it.” Ramona put away the hand lotion and reached for her headphones. Chatting with Neil was nice, but she did have work to do. “That’ll taste good when I finish the Bio-West shipping order. Celia will have me in a headlock if I don’t get these to Filing by noon.”

“Okay, I’m going to let you get to work, then. See you at lunch?”

“If Celia doesn’t somehow find a way to make me work through it.”

Neil gave her a wave and left the tiny space. Now alone and facing a full day of flying fingered data entry, Ramona put on her headphones, selected Jesse Alexander’s third album to kick off her day, and turned up the volume.

How much of you is in your hero/heroine?

2012-02-08T18:36:00.001-06:00

Good evening.

I was driving home from my J.O.B. today and I was thinking about the couples in my two books, and the couple in my upcoming. I've never really thought about it, but as I look at the three heroines, Ramona, Shara, and Izzy (From my newest WIP.) I realize that very big parts of them come from me.

Ramona:(Dream in Color) Starts out very overweight, in completely in love with a teen idol rock star, and loves late night pizza. Has mother issues. Hates that she lives the life everyone expects her to live.

Shara: (Lies in Chance) Loves horses, is good with kids, is blond. (I think I'm blond. I had blond hair before I started coloring my hair.) Has mother issues. Refuses to live the life everyone expects of her.

Izzy: (Fresh Ice) Loves to read, loves her daughter, drinks coffee by the gallon. Has mother issues. Never could live up to the life everyone expected her to live.

Yeah, you get a pretty clear picture of me if you look at my heroines.

As I look at the things that make my heroines special, and, well, heroic, I see, too, the talents I dearly wish I had:

Ramona: (Dream in Color) Can compose music and arrangements that are brilliant and plays piano like a dream.

Shara: (Lies in Chance) Can sight read music and has a photographic memory. Oh yeah, and she can sing, cook, and wrangle horses. (Shes' my renaissance girl.)

Izzy: (Fresh Ice) Can figure skate like a dream.

I always tell people I can't make a book work until I fall in love with my leading man. And let's look at my leading men in my books (and the pictures that inspired the characters):

Jesse Alexander: (Dream in Color) Okay, it's Rick Springfield. Let's just move on. I met Rick at a meet and greet almost 10 years ago...his personality and patience blew me away, but so did the juxtaposition of his face, which is not that of an air brushed teen idol, and his body (oh yeah, I went in for a hug) which ....let's just say, wow. Wow. I got such a clear image of who I wanted Jesse to be in that one hug.

Brian Jacobs: (Lies in Chance) This goes back to my childhood hero, Randy Mantooth, TVs Johnny Gage. I met Randy 12 years ago, and again, personality was an A+. Plus, he's every bit as dreamy as he was back in the 70's, just with better hair. Hugging him (yep, I'm shameless) was like finding a missing piece of myself. When you love someone from afar for 30 years, one hug can mean a lot.

Quinn Murray: (Fresh Ice) Okay, calling David James Elliott...I'm ready for my hug! LOL! Seriously, something about David's wonderful work as Harmon Rabb in JAG spoke to me when I sat down to write "Fresh Ice." There's something about a hero who is a hero because there's just no one else around...but someone who doesn't see himself as being all that great...it's like the perfect blueprint for a romantic hero. So yes, Quinn Murray is that heroic guy with a really, really dark soul. He needs saving more than anyone he saves.

I don't know if anyone else approaches it this way. Maybe every author sees themselves in the hero/heroine.

Maybe that's why my love scenes tend to be far less graphic than many of my fellow authors. I'm a married lady! (And my heroes are all inspired by married men.) And no matter how I work it, the heroine is still in very large part me, so something super graphic, while fun to read, is too hard for me to write realistically. It's hard for me to put aside my own morals when I see so much of me in that character.

So, friends, how much of you do you put in your hero/heroine? And how much of a real person do you put in the character of the opposite gender?

And Mr. Elliott? One hug...that's really all I need!

Sneak Peak Sunday: Dream in Color!

2012-02-05T06:51:00.000-06:00

Hello Friends!
This week's Random Read is a chapter from my first book, Dream in Color.

Please enjoy!

The diner was a single building in the middle of an abandoned cornfield. A rusty bell jangled as they pushed the creaky door open. Somewhere an air conditioner rattled in protest.

“Evenin’ folks,” a waitress with a complexion that matched that of the scarred Formica tables greeted them from her post at the counter. “Just sit any place.”

“Thanks.” Jesse slid into a booth seat facing away from the door. “I’ve been here a couple of times since we got to town. It’s nice because that waitress doesn’t care if you’re a prince or a beggar as long as you don’t make any noise and your money is good.”

“What, no star treatment here?”

“Get ready for a little image shattering.” He flashed a weary smile before lifting a menu.

“What’ll it be?” The waitress didn’t stir from her seat, but she did stub out her cigarette.

“I’ll have a root beer.” Jesse folded the menu and pushed it to the end of the table.

The waitress lit another cigarette before glaring at Ramona. “And you?”

“Oh, um, a root beer sounds good.” Ramona, in spite of the fact that she still felt resentment at his rude behavior, stifled a giggle behind her hand.

“What’s so funny?”

She pursed her lips and tried to hold the giddy tone out of her voice. “Root beer is my favorite.”

Jesse rolled his eyes. “This isn’t going to be one of those deals where everything I like is your favorite, is it? I hope not.”

Considering what an ass you’re being right now, I’d have to say no. Ramona gave him a forced half smile. “I don’t think so. Why?”

This time his smile was warm and utterly disarming. “Because you seem like a much more interesting person. I would hate to find out we’re clones. I mean, I already know about me.”

Ramona swallowed hard and tried to ignore the fact that her face was very warm. “I-uh, thank you. Or, I mean, I don’t think I’m your clone.”

Jesse’s smile widened to a full out grin. “Yep, you’re way more interesting than most.”

The waitress waddled to their table and set two yellow plastic glasses overflowing with foamy root beer in front of them. “Anything else?”

“No, we’re good.” Jesse’s eye twitched in something like a wink. The simple act melted the last of Ramona’s resentment but did little to change the older woman’s countenance.

Ramona took a look at him in the blue white light of the diner. There were dark shadows under his eyes and gray in his hair she never noticed before. There was something comforting, and comfortable, about the weary lines in his relaxed face. He looks like a real person.

“Ramona Simms from Cobia. How’s your backstage experience so far?” He handed her a paper wrapped straw.

“We started off a bit rocky, but it’s looking up.” She took the straw.

“Good to know. Now, about that whole web site thing. I think I should explain something.”

“Look, if you’re going to tell me that you didn’t actually send all those emails, I’ve figured that out already.” She stopped short and lowered her head. “Maybe you shouldn’t let just anyone use your name. People’s feelings can get hurt, you know.”

His smile warmed her. “I know that. I didn’t want the blasted thing in the first place. My manager, Stan, decided a year ago that I needed to come out of retirement. He’s the one who set up the site. There were a lot of hits on it, and everyone got all excited. Started telling me that people wanted a greatest hits album. I agreed to do it, but that wasn’t enough. They started putting together this tour.” He looked at her and smiled again. “You don’t seem at all mentally deficient.”

Ramona stopped stirring her root beer and stared at him. “For the record, that’s not what we Midwestern girls consider a compliment. Not even the slow ones.”

“I deserved that, didn’t I? Okay, I’ll behave now. But you have to admit something about the internet. There are a lot of people out there who are really scary. You wouldn’t believe some of the messages these women send me. It’s like once they’re at their computers, all sense of etiquette goes right out the window.” He stretched his arms over his head. “Although I’m not much better face to face, am I?”

The mischievous twinkle in his eye made her heart flutter, as she gave him a shy smile. “You weren’t so bad.” She reached for a napkin the same time he did, and their hands brushed against each other.

“Are you cold?” He closed his hand over hers.

Ramona couldn’t jerk her hand away fast enough. “No.”

“Your hand is shaking.”

“Maybe I’m a little nervous.” She unfolded the napkin in her lap, unwilling to let him see the blush warming her face. “I know it’s silly, but I’ve waited a long time to meet you, Mr. Alexander.”

“I always insist that anyone I’ve kidnapped and forced into drinking root beer with me calls me Jesse.”

“Okay. Jesse.” She swallowed hard, trying to gulp down an unattractive case of the giggles.

“So you’re nervous. At least you’re not starry-eyed, which is refreshing. There are an awful lot of starry-eyed women out there. You have no idea.”

“Oh, I think I might.” She looked up at him and let out a small laugh. “I think I was pretty starry-eyed when I first started out on this tour.”

“We were all younger then.” Jesse drained the last of his root beer and leaned back against the plastic booth. “You’ve been at all the concerts?”

“Yeah.”

“So you’re stalking me.” The corners of his mouth turned upward. “Why’d you lose your job?”

“The part about going to all the concerts? Yeah, my boss sort of looked down on the idea.” Feeling comfortable under a cover of humor, Ramona leaned forward and studied his eyes. All the pictures, all the posters she had, all the record covers didn’t quite capture the look she saw. There were miles in those eyes, years of weary miles.

“There’s more to it than that, isn’t there? Come on; tell me there’s a good story.”

She laughed and leaned away from him, against the sticky vinyl seat. “I’d rather not say. There’s no way I can tell you the story without sounding pathetic.”

He reached out and took her hand in his, the small pressure electrifying her fingers. “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”

His touch gave her courage, and she told him everything. She watched his face as she spoke, searching for traces of contempt, but she saw none. She finished the tale and waited for his response.

He seemed to ponder his thoughts carefully, toying with his straw a bit before speaking. “You named your dog Leo?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Promise you won’t laugh at me?”

“I haven’t yet.”

“The first time I heard that song, I was breaking up with someone, who I thought- well, I just thought, you know? That night I sort of wandered around and found myself in front of a record store. I had like four copies of that album, but I didn’t have it on CD, and they were selling it on CD.”

“Yeah, that’s the only place you could get ‘Leo’.”

“I must’ve listened to it a hundred times that night. You know how you hear something, a phrase or a note or something, and it changes your life?”

“I’m familiar with that concept.” Jesse shifted in his seat so the waitress could refill his glass.

Ramona waited until the woman moved away. “Well, that’s how it was for me. I heard that song and all of a sudden I thought that you were talking to me.” She covered her face with her hands. “I sound insane.”

He took her hands in his and looked into her face. “Keep talking.”

“Well, that was what, ten years ago? Then my parents got this butt ugly puppy they insisted on calling Buster. I moved back home for a while, and when I moved out I felt sorry for him, so I took him with me. I sort of just started calling him Leo. I don’t think a week has gone by that I haven’t listened to that song.”

Jesse sat back in the booth. Gone was the warm look, the smiling eyes. His jaw was set and he looked angry. He tapped his fingers on the cracked Formica and said nothing.

Ramona didn’t miss the change in his demeanor. “I’m sorry. I tend to talk too much sometimes.”

Jesse rubbed his hands over his face. His countenance changed again. Now he looked more worn, wearier than Ramona believed possible. “It’s not your fault. You have no way of knowing how much I hate that song.”

She couldn’t help herself. “But it’s your best song. Why would you hate it?” She wanted to swallow the words the second they came out of her mouth.

Jesse twirled the melting ice in his glass with a straw. “I hate it because I wrote it for my wife.”

His wife. The words silenced everything around them. Gone were the whine of the air conditioner and the waitress’s asthmatic cough. His last two words echoed over and over in her mind like a record stuck in a groove. Her vision blurred and white noise filled her head.

“Hey, wait. Are you okay?” His voice sounded far away, but his hand was firm on her shoulder. Ramona blinked away the fuzzy lights and focused on his concerned face. “Ramona? Are you okay?”

“Your wife?” Her voice was raspy and faint.

“Good, you’re focused on the high points.” He gave her quick pat on the shoulder and an ironic grin. “Yeah, wife. Little woman, ball and chain. Take your pick.”

“So you’re married.” She reached shaky hand toward her glass and held the straw between her lips like a lifeline.

“No. Well, not anymore. We didn’t last too long after ‘Leo’ was written. Oddly enough, the little woman didn’t take it well when she heard it, you know? Funny how that worked out.”

Ramona let go of her death grip on the straw. “Were you married long?”

“Pretty long. Long enough to tear each other apart. I guess about six, maybe seven years. We hooked up the year ‘Open Windows’ hit.”

Ramona leaned back and did the math in her head. “You got married when you were eighteen?”

“Not exactly.” He shifted; something akin to discomfort crossed his face. “This may call for another round.” He waved at the waitress who brought two more sticky glasses of root beer without comment. “It’s like this, the music business, especially when I got started, well, it’s like this other universe where everything is smoke and mirrors and illusion. I’d been making music for years, and then all of a sudden I get this one song, this insane hit and my whole world goes upside down. I was almost thirty when ‘Open Window’ came out.”

“But, but the magazines said-”

“They said I was a barely legal wonder right? And you were what, like fifteen?”

“Twelve.”

He shook his head. “Got you young, didn’t I? So, when you were twelve and reading those teen magazines, is there any chance you’d get all dreamy about some guy who was more than double your age?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “The record guys didn’t think so. I looked young, I appealed to young ladies like you, so they chopped a bunch of years off my age.”

“So you’re not forty-two?”

“Try adding another decade, give or take a few months.”

“Okay. Wow.” Ramona kept her eyes frozen on the melting ice in her root beer. Fifty-two is almost my parents’ age. She blinked and stayed zeroed in on the ice. Fifty-two. But...she stole a glance at him. But does it really matter after all?

Jesse rubbed his face in his hands again and nodded at her reaction. “Yeah, I get that a lot. But think about it. Here I was, this guy with a wife posing as a kid star. The wife got pushed way, way back in a corner. I mean way back.”

“Is that why you got divorced?”

“No.” Jesse took a long draw on the root beer and stretched his long legs out on the booth seat, resting his feet next to her hip. “What broke us up was the fact that she would never be, could never be first in my life. Music was too important. Check that. Being big was too important. I was so busy being Jesse Alexander, superstar, everything else went out the window.”

“She didn’t like the superstar part?”

“You want the truth?” He stared at the ceiling.

Ramona looked around the room. She seriously doubted that anything he could say to her in these surroundings would surprise her. “Of course.”

“She didn’t like that I liked it. I mean, the fan worship, the girls.” He closed his eyes. “The girls.” A slight shudder ran through him and he looked back at her. “It wasn’t just the wife. The industry, the real musicians, turned on me. It was all part of being in the machine; others would try to discredit me. My whole life I’m this really well respected, but totally unknown studio musician. And then ‘Open Windows’ hits and people I thought were my friends won’t touch me because I’m making teenybopper music. And slime balls that shouldn’t be my friends are crawling all over me to get a piece of the pie. For a while I couldn’t stop believing my own press, and the marriage died. And then I killed my career.”

Ramona tried to digest the information he gave her, but there was too much of a contrast between the youthful, wild rocker she’d worshipped her whole life and the earnest, soft-spoken older man sharing a root beer with her. “You never wanted to be famous?”

“Everyone wants to be famous. But those years I was this big name, I lost everything that meant anything. At the end, when things started to slow down, I realized it was too late to fix any of it.”

“You disappeared.”

“I retired. When ‘Closer to Earth’ barely made gold status, I told my manager that I was done. I’d gone through too many years of the insanity. I was cooked. So I dropped out of the spotlight.”

“Until the web site showed up a few months ago.”

“That stupid web site. It all started when some low budget movie used ‘Open Windows’ on their soundtrack. I had to do a red carpet thing at the premier of the movie. Okay, that was fun.” He grinned and gave his root beer a stir. “Then there’s this revival of my music and all of a sudden I’m doing a forty-city tour in the Midwest during the hottest summer on record.” He set his glass down on the sticky table. “And now I feel like a total jerk because I’m sitting here, telling you the whole dirty truth. Have I succeeded in shattering your world?”

Ramona swirled her straw in the watery remnants of the root beer and melted ice. “Three months ago, I’d have said yes.”

“But now?”

“Now, oddly enough, it’s fine.” She let the straw rest in her glass and realized that every word she spoke was true. His real life didn’t affect how she felt one iota.

“So the fact that I’m divorced, old, and grumpy, that’s not ruining your impression of me?”

“Actually, it makes you better. You’re a real person now. Not just some rock god on a stage.”

“Egads, woman, don’t let that get out!” He drained the last swallow from his glass. “You know, I just always was afraid that a lot of my fans, you know the ones that hung on all these years, that they’d be really obsessed and-”

“Freaks?”

“Yeah, freaks. That internet thing, it’s a haven for an awful lot of bizarre behavior. I mean, I knew this one actor who was married, but kept it a secret, until it came out on a web site dedicated to him. And then his management company started getting these really wild letters and death threats for his wife. Who needs that?”

Ramona leaned forward, eager to defend herself and her fellow fans. “Yeah, a lot of us seem to fit this profile. We’re single, past thirty, and dealing with a raft of problems of our own, but you know what? We’re all, well, most of us, deep down, just good-hearted people who are interested in someone we grew up with and still haven’t forgotten. I mean, the music business might be fickle. Hollywood might be fickle. But those of us who are real fans, we aren’t fickle at all. We never forget our first love or our first heartbreak. Your music takes us back to all the good times and the bad times and all the nights we sat up listening to you sing about love and loneliness and how we said, ‘That’s exactly how I feel about it!’ Just because we’re older, just because we maybe have kids and jobs and a real life, hey, we still feel all those same feelings. We still feel lost, lonely. Probably more often than we did when we were kids. So we come back to what got us through when we were younger. And that’s your music, Jesse. That’s your poetry that keeps going on no matter what you do in your real life. Those songs are frozen in time.” She stopped and realized she’d been talking without stopping for several minutes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to prattle on like that.”

“No, it’s okay. It‘s stuff I need to know.”

“Really?”

“Really.” His dark eyes warmed in a smile and he put his hand on hers again. “For the last ten years I’ve been hiding in myself. I’ve been writing, wondering what the point is because no one will ever want what I’m writing. And then I go out on this ridiculous tour, and there’s all these people going crazy, and not just older fans, but kids, and I think, ‘Wow, this can’t just be for me, right?’ It gives me a little hope that maybe I’ll get out there again for real.”

“Then you meet the fans one on one and it all falls apart, right?”

“Up and down. The one at the last show was the capper. She was this huge woman, had like six kids, and informed me that she was going to marry me and rock my world. I mean, who in their right mind believes that crap is going to happen?”

“Well…” Ramona hid her face behind her hands.

Jesse looked at her, surprised. “No. Not you! Ramona Simms, say it ain’t so!”

She blushed and studied the scars on the table closely. “Well, it’s not like I have six kids or anything.”

He cocked his head to one side, much like Leo always did when she said something particularly stupid. “But you were hoping...”

She tried to laugh and lighten the mood. “It’s not like I’m going to stalk you in the night or anything. It was more...I don’t know, more like we’d meet and you’d tell me you’d been waiting for me your whole life.”

“Like some fairy tale. The Princess and Prince Charming ride off into the sunset.”

Cynthiella with no fella...“Sure, why not?” She met his gaze and dropped her eyes immediately. “I’m really hoping you don’t think I’m a freak at this point.”

“On the contrary.” He leaned back and tapped his fingers on the table. “I have to say, this is a most enlightening conversation.” He pulled a straw out of the dispenser and played with it for a moment. “Ramona Simms. You have a middle name?”

Ramona braced herself. “Ramona is my middle name.”

“I’m guessing you aren’t crazy about your first name?”

She grimaced. “You could say that.”

“My sympathies. See, I’m working on a theory about middle names. Middle names are where parents begin screwing up their kids. In your case, your parents are obviously a bit more…theatrical.”

“Theatrical, no. Really not well read, yes.” She swirled her glass. “And we can leave it at that.”

He nodded, seemingly satisfied. “So, Miss Ramona Simms from Cobia, Wisconsin, tell me something.”

“What do you want to know?”

He arched and eyebrow at her. “Don‘t sound so casual. You may not want to answer this question.”

She took a last drag on her straw and pushed the glass away. “Well, I’ve told you about my pathetic life and you haven’t run screaming into the night.” And you haven’t begged me for my real name. “So what could you possibly want to know that I wouldn’t tell you?”

“This is something I’ve always kinda wanted to ask women when I meet them and they seem so sure they’re my destiny.” He swirled the last bit of root beer in his glass and studied the bubbles for a moment. “But I’ve never had enough interest in any of them to really care until now.” He looked up at her from beneath the fringe of his hair. “Does that work as a compliment here in the Midwest?”

Ramona felt no self-consciousness as she grinned at him. “Yes, that does just fine. So ask your question now that you’re being all charming.”

“What would you have said to me back there at the fairgrounds to make me think you were the person I’ve been waiting for all these years? What were your magic words?”

Her grin faded, replaced with a furious blush. “Umm, no. Let’s discuss something else.”

“No, really, I’d like to know.” He put down the straw. “It’s weird, but suddenly I have this feeling like maybe all those women I’ve met on the road were right. Maybe I’m waiting for the right words from the right person.” He ran his hand through his hair, brushing it away from his face. “And I’d hate to miss an opportunity like this with someone as interesting as you.” There was no hint of mockery on his face.

She shook her head. “Honestly I don’t think I had anything really worked out to say to you.” Liar, liar, pants on fire. “I was going for the sudden glance across a crowded room scenario.”

“Well, that is a classic, I’ll give you points for staying with what works.”

“Besides, I don’t exactly fit into fairy tale material anymore.” She tried to fill the empty space with a short laugh.

“You shouldn’t sell yourself short.” His smile held an unmistakable glimmer of promise. “We have all the makings of a real Brothers Grimm classic. A carriage, a beautiful night, a dashing prince, and this,” here he stretched out his arms as if to pull the whole diner closer to them, “this amazing palace.”

Ramona laughed at the comical look on his face, but she wasn’t going to fall into his teasing. “You know I’m right. I’m just a regular person from a regular town, I’m not some supermodel. And you, you’re...well, you.” She shrugged. “Even grumpy, you’re still Jesse Alexander.”

He folded and unfolded his hands on the table. “Supermodels. Geez, we rock stars do have a lot to live up to. You know how many supermodels I’ve been with?”

“No, but feel free to tell me.”

“Zero. And that goes for actresses, politicians, and talk show hosts. Hell, my ex was a waitress at the diner across the street from my record company. I’ve always been more attracted to regular women. That’s one thing I wish people...people like you…would get about me.”

Ramona’s heart did a little flip-flop at his words. Maybe he was a little older, and maybe he hadn’t been languishing in love for her all these years. Still, there was a look in his eye that mirrored her longing for something.

“Hey, folks, we’re closing, so it’s time to leave.” The waitress grabbed the glasses and tossed the bill on the table without looking at either one of them.

Jesse looked at his watch and grinned. “It’s pretty late, Cinderella.”

Ramona bit her lip at the memory of the old childhood taunt, but knew Jesse meant nothing. “Oh, that’s more than okay, believe me.” She stood up and rolled her cramped ankles around. “But I’ve taken enough of your time.”

He stood as well, stretched his arms over his head, and nodded toward the restrooms. “I’m gonna make a stop before we go back, okay?”

Ramona tried not to stare as he headed for the rest room. His sense of ease around her unsettled her almost as much as the fine, fine shape of his butt. She checked her watch and made her way to the ladies room.

10 Literary Trends that need to go away!

2012-01-31T06:04:00.001-06:00

Good morning!

My friends over at Accredited Online Colleges have been sharing a number of really good topics with me, and today I have a bang up one.

10 Literary Trends that need to go Away.

For the record, I'm especially cheering for numbers 6, 9, and 10 to go away. When Snookie has a two book deal and my friend Linda can't find a publisher for her magnificent book A Lonely Sky, we need to rethink what we are reading.

Also, for the record...I LOVED "Twilight." Just putting that out there.

So I was like, barfing after my fist fight with J-Wow...and the best idea for my NEXT best selling book just popped into my head. Isn't that so fun?

Brillliant book. Just brilliant!

So, enjoy!

10 Literary Trends that Need to Go Away

Oct 30th, 2011.By Kimberly Wilson

What constitutes "literary trends that need to go away" is purely a matter of opinion, of course, and one of debatable education at that! And so, dear, sweet Internet, do try and curtail any possible combustion over subjectivities. It really is quite silly!

But yeah, these really exist as quite ghastly little numbers, poisoning beloved bookstores and libraries for far too long. Some have wreaked havoc for decades while others — if bibliophiles are lucky, anyways — might blink away as just another disposable fad. Either way though, they all deserve a giant booting so worthwhile reads can take their place.

1Lackluster graphic novel/comic book adaptations

Excellent graphic novels and comics, such as the Pulitzer-winning Maus, stand on their own as classic, essential literary works. So the medium itself isn't the problem here. Neither are lovingly-reproduced adaptations showing the utmost respect for the source material. L. Frank Baum enthusiast Eric Shanower and lively artist Skottie Young collaborated on the Eisner-winning, New York Times-bestselling comic books relaying myriad stories from the Wizard of Oz universe. All the included series preserve the novels' and the most popular musical's whimsy, imagination, wit, characters, atmospheres, themes and all those other lovely literary buzzwords, even if the comic creators did have to play with its progenitors to fit the medium a bit.

The issue lay with the idea behind graphic novel and comic book cash-ins just because it's the thing to do, paying little heed to the original story, the medium or both. Manga Shakespeare, for example, seems to exist more to bank some sweet-sweet coin off the last vestiges of America's late-'90s, late-'00s lust for Japanese comics. While its intent to make The Bard "more accessible" deserves applause, the frequently uninspired art and cringe-worthy liberties (Hamlet set in a "cyberworld in constant dread of war") do little to promote the author or the diverse medium. It's as if the publishers desired to whip out some manga and added Shakespeare later to push more product. No shame comes taped to playing with the familiar stories — Throne of Blood elegantly welded samurai culture to Macbeth – but half-assing it just to make a quick buck disrespects the original author, comics themselves and (most importantly) the readers.

2"Self-help" guides doing more harm than good

Fun Fact: That The Secret thing the kids were into a few years ago? The whole "law of attraction" thing essentially foists the blame of abuse and suffering onto innocent victims. What a concept! If only displaced genocide survivors knew they could prevent losing their loved ones and homes with THE POWER OF THINKING HAPPY THOUGHTS REALLY, REALLY HARD!!! Self-help guides always have been and always will be a thing, but the entire genre shouldn't be dismissed because some of the most prominent and egregious examples do the exact opposite of what they tout. Chained to the Desk, intelligently — and with empathy — toutlines a very real psychological condition (workaholism) and offers highly accessible advice for patients, their loved ones and healthcare professionals. It's one of the best examples of an effective self-help book doing exactly what it's supposed to do — outline an issue, proffer solutions and back it all up with scientific (not anecdotal!) proof.

Unfortunately, the pulp getting so heavily pushed doesn't typically possess the same detail, research and psychological intent as Chained to the Desk. Most are relatively harmless, offering generic inspirational bromides in lieu of anything substantial, but causing about as much internal and external damage as a fluffy little down feather. Garbage like the aforementioned The Secret and the ever-so-popular depression "cures" involving nothing but positive thinking, however, pretty much wreak psychological havoc. The former and its ilk blame victims already plagued with trauma, guilt and stigmatization, while the latter refuses to acknowledge the true complexities behind a serious mental health issue. Journalist Barbara Ehrenreich published Bright-Sided to delve deeply into this unfortunate trend, which probably won't dissolve completely anytime soon.

3Bandwagon-jumping:

Twilight was crap, but at least it attempted something a little different by making its vampires sparkle. And its baffling success kicked off the most recent young adult literary trend: angsty teen fantasy-horror-romances. The list starring vampires alone contains enough titles to fill a generous library shelf. Exploiting narrative and trope trends is about as new as the Marianas Trench and probably won't stop happening until never. While some of the shameless rip-offs might actually prove worthwhile reading, the problem here lay more with homogeneity than anything else. With so many trendy tomes crowding stores and libraries, curious readers looking for something completely different might experience a more difficult time finding something suiting their tastes. Plus, focusing too much energy on riding a contemporary's coattails precludes an author's own personal creativity. One wonders how many interesting, innovative stories ended up shunted to the sidelines because publishers preferred trendy opportunism rather than trying to launch their very own trends and innovations.

4Self-indulgent celebrity memoirs

Every once in a while, a celebrity memoir like Steve Martin's heavy, evocative Born Standing Up or even Bruce Campbell's campy and fun B-movie romp If Chins Could Kill prove that the genre isn't an entire fame-whoring waste. Unfortunately, so much of it proves absurdly formulaic and self-aggrandizing (with the requisite mock humility), savvy pop culture critic Nathan Rabin has taken to regularly reviewing and observing the phenomenon. Publishing resources that could go towards brand new, talented writers with something fresh and interesting to say instead supporting the same old "fame totally happened, oh man I lost everything, but yay, spirituality" narrative. These people get (or got) enough attention as it is, earned or not.

5"Revolutionary" diet plans

The PR says "revolutionary," the cynics say "fad," and the medical professionals say "potentially dangerous." Here's the only diet plan anyone needs. Exercise regularly. Practice portion control. Eat a diet comprised primarily of nutritious foods. No book necessary.

6Celebrity authors who just can't write

So that ghastly Snooki wrote a novel, launching a thousand lazy jokes about whether or not she's even literate in the first place. The obviously autobiographical result, A Shore Thing, proved just as vomitously cringe-inducing as one would imagine, and her name actually ended up in a larger font than the book's title. Probably because it wasn't really the novel being sold at all, but the Snooki brand. Lauren Conrad, another bafflingly famous "personality" who arguably doesn't really do much of anything, pulled something similar and ended up on the bestseller list. Twice. Meanwhile, once again, real writers enjoy fewer and fewer opportunities as the marketing machine plows through their art like so many Lawnmower Men. Apparently fame in one area automatically translates to talent in another, even though both "authors" shilled efforts whining about their luxurious lives.

7"Women's literature" with reductionist views of women

Scientific studies reveal a link between romantic comedy consumption and unrealistic — if not outright unhealthy — attitudes towards relationships. So it stands to reason that their bookish equivalent known as "chick lit" might result in a similar effect. Enjoying fluffy, escapist reads carries absolutely no shame, but the problem lay with some of the disconcerting tropes. Like how "women's literature" tends towards problems involving men and shoes, painting its protagonists as shrill, empty-headed, materialistic archetypes instead of real people. Or the fact that so many books ostensibly about the ladies always seems to involve men. Specifically, attracting, keeping and tolerating the fact that they just aren't perfect. The Confessions of a Shopaholic series is probably the genre's most prolific example, though nonfiction like He's Just Not That Into You also egregiously explore similar territory. Literature aimed at a female demographic should continue being a thing, of course! But maybe someday authors concerned with writing unique, interesting, relatable characters instead of insulting their audience by essentially painting them as high-maintenance, boy-crazy bimbos. The ladies deserve much better than that. The Color Purple concerns women's issues and identity, but jettisons the scary credit card debt and griping about boyfriends farting in bed.

8Remixing the classics

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was funny at first: a fresh, postmodern take on Jane Austen's Regency classic. And then Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters happened. Followed by two more Pride and Prejudice and Zombies sequels, Little Women and Werewolves, Jane Slayre, Little Vampire Women, Mansfield Park and Mummies and many, many more mashups. Although this definitely falls under bandwagonning, the added element of building on popular public domain works adds an extra literary dimension. Yeah, the cheekiness definitely amuses, but the market's become quite saturated with them. Enough already!

9Assuming genre fiction has nothing to say

This article has probably expressed a rather harsh attitude towards genre fare, but the egregiously terrible and/or overtly, unabashedly derivative examples shouldn't speak for all of them. Frequently, a ponderous work like Fahrenheit 451 or Lord of the Rings score sweet syllabus deals, but most end up ignored or outright dismissed. When it comes to science-fiction, for example, Snow Crash says just as much about the human condition and experience as most classics with a grounding in reality — and considering its technological themes (even prediction of services such as Second Life!), eerily resonates today. Rebecca and some Sherlock Holmes books really deliver academically when it comes to mysteries, but how about The New York Trilogy? And so forth. Scratching the surface makes a great introduction to different genres, but try and find examples beyond the tried and true to really diversify the canon.

10Dismissing all self-published literature

With so many celebrity tell-alls, "reality star" "authors," dangerous dieting and dismissive self help reads taking up publishers' time and money, it's no wonder so many writers decide on DIY jobs. Some do it to avoid over-editing and compromising their main ideas. Others just like masturbating their ego over adding "published author" to their resumes, quality levels be damned! And even more think the process far easier than the one involving agents and marketing departments and whatnot. Out of all of these motivations, the only books anyone ever focuses on (of course!) are the narcissism-driven and/or terrible. In reality, self-published writers run the gamut from creative, thought-provoking and talented to those so genuinely frightening and outright offensive linking them here would probably cause the FBI to shut this whole site down.

So just like books published through more traditional venues. When exploring this brave new technological world that has such diverse people in it, head over to Self-Published Review first. The minds behind the site do an excellent job of de-stigmatizing the process and offer up informed commentary on the excellent, good, bad, weird and absolutely godawful dreck available. More readers should hear them out and perhaps find their next big favorite.

Sneak peak Sunday: Lies in Chance

2012-01-29T12:22:00.000-06:00

Hello everyone!

It's winter out there now...so it's good time to cuddle up with a good book. And how about my newest, Lies in Chance (availble in print or for the Kindle on Amazon, but also available for the Nook and e-Reader where all fine digital books are sold!)

Here's a fairly random slice for you to nibble on while you're buying a copy of the whole thing!

SHARA

It was Thanksgiving, and the Shepaski house dripped with good smells by the time the church bells rang across the parking lot. With the service over, Drew, Joanna, and the kids would be home soon, with their guests. Shara hoped this dinner, the first Thanksgiving dinner she'd cooked, would please her adopted family.

Bryan arrived before the rest of the family. “Happy Thanksgiving.”

Shara, surprised at the nearly polite tone from him smiled. “Thanks. You, too.”

“Did you cook the whole dinner?”

Shara nodded. “I did. I mean, Joanna gave me her recipes, and she sort of supervised things. But I did the cooking.”

Bryan leaned against the railing and watched her put the last place setting at the table. “Yeah, well, it won’t be Joanna’s cooking, but I’m sure it won’t kill us, will it?”

Well, that took care of that, didn’t it? She blinked a stinging tear. Why does he always seem to want to find the harshest thing to say to me?

And why on earth does it matter to me what he says?

Shara tried to look beyond the exterior, and into him. She heard he was the most desired male in the county, a profile he certainly didn’t fit in her mind. But Molly loved him and she knew very well how much the children, as well as Drew and Joanna, adored him. He was family to them.

So maybe Molly was right. Just by being here I’m the problem he has. Well, whatever. I have work to do.

Drew’s mother, a jolly old woman with powdery cheeks and pale blue eyes, greeted Shara like a long lost child. “I hear you are the angel from heaven.” She kissed Shara’s cheek.

“Mrs. Shepaski, you’re giving me too much credit.”

“Nonsense, and call me Mother S. Everyone does.”

“Everyone who’s family, that is.” Bryan seated himself at the table. Shara did not miss the angry look Joanna threw at him.

With a twinge of sadness, as Shara surveyed the table heaping with wonderful food and circled with loving family, she remembered her own Thanksgivings with Grandmother. Quiet affairs, usually experienced at one of the finer restaurants in Milwaukee. Resentful wait staff bringing impersonal plates to their table. Grandmother grumbling because every year people wanted not only Thanksgiving Day off, but also the next day. That Friday was the biggest day of the year for sales. Didn’t anyone understand business?

“What are you thinkin’ about?” Joanna sidled up to her, carrying a bowl of yams to the table.

Shara sighed and brushed at the corners of her eyes. “It’s just all so beautiful.”

“Yeah, it is,” Joanna agreed. She nodded to Bryan. “It would be perfect if Bryan wasn’t in a mood.”

“That’s a mood? I thought that’s how he always is.”

“No. It’s always worse on Thanksgiving.” Joanna shook her head.

“Why today?”

Joanna studied Bryan across the room carefully before answering. “Bryan and Jenny got engaged on Thanksgiving. They’d only known each other a few weeks. I think they met at a Halloween party. Since she left, he’s been a beast on Thanksgiving. Or, more so than any other day. Except Christmas.”

“I see.” She turned her gaze to the man in question. “What happened on Christmas?”

Joanna’s smile held little mirth. “They got married on Christmas Eve.”

“Wow.” She ignored the brief thought of her own impending wedding, scheduled for Christmas Eve.

“Yes. She ruined him completely. Bryan used to be the sweetest guy I know. And I’ve known him for a very long time. Then she came along.”

“He’s not too crazy about me, is he?”

“Don’t worry about that, Bethany. He’ll come around.” Joanna gave her a quick one-armed hug. “He has little choice in the matter, given just how great you are, and how much it will hurt it I smack him with my frying pan.”

Shara returned Joanna’s hug and tried to shut out the nagging feeling that her friend was wrong. Bryan may never come around. She glanced at him, standing at the other end of the table, just as he looked in her direction. Holding no warmth for her, his gaze felt like an icy slap. She turned away quickly. I am not going to let him bother me. She turned back and gave him a cold glare of her own. You’re attitude is not going to bother me, Bryan Jacobs.

* * *

Shara ate until her stomach was more than full, reveling in the bond she felt with her adopted family. Don’t focus on what you didn’t have living with Grandmother.

“Drew, did you hear your cousin Randy is getting married in February? On Valentine’s Day.” Mother S. dug into her third helping of stuffing with gusto.

“No, Ma, I didn’t hear that. Who to?”

“Well.” Mother S. lowered her voice as if relating a scandal. “He’s marrying a girl he met last month at work. Someone he was training at work. You can imagine his parents are up in arms. He hardly knows the girl.”

“Well, Mother S., that doesn’t seem to stop any of the Shepaski men from attaching themselves to people.” Bryan spooned out more potatoes for himself. “The men in your family have a strange need to turn their lives over to complete strangers.”

Shara’s stomach twisted. His words reminded her too well that she did not belong with these good people. “Will you excuse me, please?” She scurried from the table , down the stairs, and out of the house.

BRYAN

“Bryan Jacobs, that was horrible.” Joanna’s hiss cut through the stillness.

“What did I do? Did I lie?” And don’t look at me like I don’t know what I’m doing. This has nothing to do with Jenny and everything to do with that girl.

Joanna rounded the table toward him. “Has it ever occurred to you that maybe she’s here because she doesn’t have a family?”

Drew stopped chewing and glanced up. The children stared in wonder. Mother S. helped herself to more stuffing. Bryan sensed a war with Joanna coming on and he knew no one ever won a war with her. So what? “Did it ever occur to you that she doesn’t have a family because she killed them?” He crossed his arms and waited for her to volley back.

“Bryan Jacobs!” Joanna stood up, her rage purpling her face. “Nate, take your sister to your room. NOW!”

The children, wide eyed like rabbits, scooted away without protest. Bryan braced himself for the battle.

“Now, Bryan, you explain yourself.” Joanna leaned over him, her puffy face a picture of barely controlled fury.

“Do any of you even care that she might be Shara Brandt?”

“Shara who?” Drew, for the first time, stopped eating long enough to speak.

“That girl from Milwaukee. The one that was engaged to Richard. The one that killed her grandmother in the car dealership.”

Joanna slammed down into a nearby chair as if struck. “Do you taste the words that come out of your mouth, or do you just spread this poison on everyone without any feeling?”

“I’m serious. You all just took her in, and we know nothing about her. She shows up the day after this woman is murdered, and this Shara is missing. Not only that, but her fiancé says Shara Brandt is mentally unstable.”

“Her fiancé, you mean Richard Bennett? Weren’t you disappointed he didn’t die in that attack?” Drew dabbed a roll into some gravy on his plate.

“You know, Bryan, you know that this is all about Jenny.”

Bryan did not want to back down from Joanna’s tiger-like frown. “It is not, Jo. This is about the kids.”

“Well that young lady out there is pretty much a kid herself. She ran away from an abusive boyfriend, and all but died in our back yard. She’s not from Milwaukee, she’s from Escanaba. Molly vouches for her. Why would Molly lie?” Joanna sighed and dabbed some sweat from her face. “Bethany doesn’t have a devious bone in her body. And since when do you believe a word Richard Bennett says? He’s your advisor now? Then you have lost your mind, Bryan Jacobs and I don’t want you here.”

Looking in Joanna’s eyes, seeing her conviction, Bryan mentally noted that it was unlikely that everyone he knew could be fooled. There was a chance that Bethany was genuine. It probably is all about Jenny…and Richard Bennett. “Maybe you’re right, Jo. Maybe.” He sighed and rubbed his head with his hands. “I guess I could be less of a jerk, couldn’t I?” And restore some peace in the process.

Joanna softened visibly. The war was over. “I know you have a lot of hurt inside.” She waddled over and hugged him. “But you’ve got to remember the great guy you really are, and be him once in awhile.”

Yeah, but I don’t have to be the nanny’s cheerleader, either. “I’ll go find her and apologize.” And that will keep the peace for now. Bryan got up from the table and left the house. Dirty snow melted under the tires of Drew’s station wagon. She wasn’t in the garage. He opened the garage door and stepped out into the afternoon sunshine. Puddles formed on the sidewalks and driveways as snow melted in the forty-degree warmth.

She was sitting on the front stoop. “Hey.” He sat next to her. “You didn’t go far.”

“Where exactly would I go?” She turned a tear stained face to him. Dark smudges under her eyes told him she had been crying hard.

Her eyes tore away another shred of his doubt. Could she possibly be less sinister? “Look, what I said was… uncalled for”

“It’s not like you haven’t been building up to it.” She sniffled and buried her face in the crook of her arm. “I’d like to know what I ever did to you.”

Nothing. Call it preemptive jerkiness. “It’s not really you. I love those kids like they were my own. You just show up one day and no one ever questioned whether or not you were right for them.” He shrugged and leaned his elbows on his knees. “I’m very protective.”

“So you’re saying you don’t trust me.” Her sniffle punctuated her pitiful aura.

“I’d like to know you better.”

“Really?” Her tone showed no interest. “Aren’t I the lucky one?”

Bryan frowned. He’d always had the opposite effect on women. Mostly, women wanted him to know them better. Not this one. “I don’t mean in the way it sounds.”

“Like what then?” The anger and hurt in her eyes tore away the last shred of pride he had.

If I shove my foot all the way in my mouth maybe I’ll shut up and stop botching this apology. “I’d like to know more about you before I’m comfortable with you, you know, watching the kids.”

“Fair enough.” She sniffled again and wiped her eyes.

“So.” He handed her a tissue. “What about it?”

“What about what?”

“What about your story?”

She shook her head. “You know my story. What’s your story?”

And she’s not going to let me off the hook easily. “Fair enough. Let’s see: I was born, I grew up, went to school, got the job teaching here, got into trouble at dinner just now.”

Her lips twisted into a half smile. “I like that version. Simple and short. I can do that. I was born, I grew up. I left home, wound up here, and just stormed out of the best Thanksgiving dinner I ever had.”

“You missed the part about being the creek.”

“You missed the part about being married.”

“Touché.” He stared out over to the school and nodded. “I keep forgetting you don’t keep too much hidden in a small town.” He looked sideways at her. “How about a truce? A truce with ground rules. Anytime I want to know something about you, I have to tell you something about myself.”

She nodded. “We don’t ask questions if we aren’t ready to answer any, right?”

“Deal.” He stuck out his hand. She took it in hers, and they shook. “Now, how about some pumpkin pie?”

She gave him a worried look. “You want to know a secret?”

“Is this a freebie question for me? Because I don’t think I’m ready to reveal much more this afternoon.”

“Don’t sweat it.” She gave him a wan, yet utterly enchanting smile. “I’m actually a little afraid about how it turned out. I’ve never had pumpkin pie before. I don’t know if it’s right.”

Her words startled him. “You’ve never had pumpkin pie?”

She shrugged. “My Thanksgiving Day dinners were always rather untraditional. Grand..pa wasn’t big on pies.”

“Well look, the rest of the meal didn’t kill us,” Bryan grinned at her.

“Oh thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“Seriously. Dinner was great. I’m sure the pie will be great.” He opened the front door for her. I’ll still keep an eye on you, though, Bethany Elias.

Watching her walk up the stairs, Bryan realized that wasn’t going to be such a terrible thing to do.

Books you want to believe...and shouldn't.

2012-01-22T07:26:00.000-06:00

Hello all!

Well my friend Emma over at Accredited Collegs Online has brought me a really great list. 10 Bestselling Books that were Later Debunked. We've all heard of most of these books, and I'm willing to bet most of us bought into them. I'll admit, at least three of these books are on my bookshelves right now. But history, and the tiniest bit of research, proved these books to be utter and complete fiction, and while fiction itself is perfectly lovely, selling a work of fiction as a true story is a betrayal to the readers.

The literary world often ends up painted as some stuffy realm of academics and intellectuals who whittle away their days polishing their monocles and dusting their sepia-toned globes. Meanwhile, in the real world, it’s positively rife with drama to rival that of the latest self-deluded pinheads paraded around on MTV for society’s perverse enjoyment. Scandals abound, including fake identities, fake memories, fake science, thievery, and other schadenfreude delights. And it’s all the more frustrating (and maybe a little entertaining) when one of the contested books lands squarely on a bestseller list.

1Misha: A Memoire of the Holocaust Years by Misha Defonseca

This memoir took enthusiastic readers into the Warsaw ghetto and followed a broken young Jewish girl as she desperately searches for her forcibly estranged (killed?) parents. Along the way, she murders Nazis and comes of age amongst a pack of friendly wolves. Also? She never existed. Instead, Misha Defonseca burst forth from the imagination of Belgian author Monique de Wael, who grew up neither ethnically nor religiously Jewish. Both she and her lawyers confessed to Misha: A Memoire of the Holocaust Years being a massive hoax, although the author flakily defended herself by claiming, "The book is a story, it’s my story. It’s not the true reality, but it is my reality. There are times when I find it difficult to differentiate between reality and my inner world." Um. Yeah. Totally a legitimate justification for exploiting the suffering of very real people for nothing more than self-aggrandizement. Except not really.

2A Million Little Pieces by James Frey

A million little fracases splinted from this Oprah’s Book Club phenomenon when it came to light that the author was – surprise, surprise – just making all his l’il memoirs up. Like his spiritual successor Monique de Wael, James Frey proffered a flimsy excuse regarding how the overarching message completely transcends the fact that he lied about overcoming substance abuse and a criminal lifestyle. Code for…couldn’t hack it as a novelist and decided to manipulate Random House’s heartstrings into a sweet deal by pandering to public lust for redemption stories. The Smoking Gun figured out his less-than-zany scheme when attempting to dredge up his mug shot and ultimately finding nothing.

3How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life by Kaavya Viswanathan

It takes a special brew of stupidity and arrogance to completely rip off another bestselling author’s works and finagle it into an allegedly half-million dollar book deal. An aspirant young adult novelist at Harvard lifted at least a dozen passages from two Megan McCafferty books when submitting the manuscript to How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life. Megan McCafferty, by the way, happens to be an exceptionally popular young adult author. Obviously the best woman to completely rip off, because who could EVER make a connection? Before her Ivy League contemporaries uncovered the deception, Kaavya Viswanathan harbored even more plans to just go and plagiarize her way back onto the bestseller list. She has yet to issue any statement regarding whether or not the meaning should completely override her egregious decision, though she did claim any similarities to an author she just loved so much was an homage. A subconscious homage that she um, didn’t really mean? And now she’s so sorry.

4Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson

Three Cups of Tea was a trendy new memoir (guess where this one’s going!) published in 2006 which, to its (only) credit, served as an antidote to the rampant Islamophobia in America. Greg Mortenson’s failed K2 ascent landed him alone and helpless in the tiny Pakistani city of Korphe. So touched was he by their kindness, he vowed to return someday and build a school educating both male and female children. He did, in fact, establish the Central Asia Institute to assist Korphe and other villages, but the origin story never happened. Stones into Schools followed the disputed bestseller, alleging Mighty Whitey Mortenson’s imprisonment by the Taliban. Which, surprise surprise, also proved a fabrication. In addition, his CAI draws considerable derision because so many of its expenditures go towards funding book promotions, tours, and lectures rather than…you know…the schools themselves. Many of which, by the way, either ended up as makeshift grain silos, received no funding after being built, ended up built and promptly left behind, or – most egregiously – were never built at all.

5The Wild Blue by Stephen E. Ambrose

Beloved popular historian Stephen Ambrose disappointed his impressive audience when Forbes and other periodicals noted a pattern of plagiarism. The Wild Blue and other well-received, accessible works stole complete chunks from the author’s less mainstreamly prominent, but still highly respected, contemporaries. Thomas Childers unknowingly contributed at least three passages to the bestselling nonfiction about B-52 Bombers in World War II. Meanwhile, Ambrose excused the findings as forgetting to properly cite his resources amidst an ever so grueling schedule. This claim fails to take into account why other bestsellers penned long before he hit it huge, such as D-Day, sported the exact same phenomenon.

6Sarah by JT LeRoy

Not even a year before Oprah found herself grappling against the Frey fiasco, another one of her Book Club authors emerged as a shameless huckster. Or perhaps a super savvy performance artist using literature as a commentary on society’s penchant for sordid tales of teenage prostitution and drug addiction? Probably the former. Author Laura Albert created the character – not just pen name – of JT LeRoy, a West Virginian who hightails it to California as an adolescent and winds up vagrant within its seedy back alleys, paying for highs with whoredom. The fact that this celebrated writer rarely appeared in public and only granted interviews over the phone added to his allure, resulting in his semi-"autobiographical" novel (not memoir) Sarah. Starting with New York magazine’s Stephen Beachy, journalists and literary critics began digging into the reality of JT LeRoy, eventually unearthing the real culprit and her many accomplices; Savannah Koop was revealed as the reserved figure stepping out when a warm body was needed to fill in the author’s chair. Albert went on to lose $350,000 to Antidote International Films, who owned the rights to Sarah and sued her for fraud. On a more saddening note, she conceived of the character as a means of working through her own personal issues with gender identity, sexual assault, homelessness, and prostitution, factors she couldn’t bring herself to work through using her real name and history.

7The Secret by Rhonda Byrne

Unlike some of the other books listed here, The Secret‘s lauding of the bilious chyme of pseudoscience known as the "law of attraction" couldn’t lose any of its credibility, seeing as how it (debatably) lacked any in the first place. Put simply, this mindset touts that anything anyone wants is within reach if only they want it hard enough, because working for anything is hard. Also? If anything bad happens to someone, it means they obviously deserved it. That includes, of course, victims of rape and sexual assault, child/domestic/intimate partner violence, mental/physical/emotional abuse, famine, genocide, and more! According to Rhonda Byrne and other New Age automatons promoting the "law of attraction" these things happen because those on the receiving end think negative thoughts and draw horrible actions to them as a result (curiously enough, Oprah, herself a survivor of childhood rape, is almost singlehandedly responsible for the travesty’s success).

8The Education of Little Tree by Forrest Carter

Forrest Carter fearlessly channeled his own life into a wildly popular semi-autobiographical novel about survival as a Cherokee at a time when interest in Native American rights and perspectives began emerging. He claimed to be a cowboy of Cherokee blood with a passion for social justice issues and enough drive to teach himself how to read and write. Which would be undoubtedly worthy of applause where he not actually a thorough ruse by proud, avowed Klansman Asa Gardner – who just happened to write Alabama governor George Wallace’s wrenching, disgusting "Segregation now…Segregation tomorrow…Segregation forever" speech. Dan T. Carter with The New York Times discovered the hoax in 1991, after three decades of The Education of Little Tree enjoying its status as a mainstay of indigenous literature. Since the real author retreated from the public eye long before the book’s publication and his eventual passing, nobody’s exactly sure what to make of his deception. Theories range from an earnest, if misguided, attempt to renounce the racism characterizing his earlier life to, more frighteningly, the first step in a desire to subvert the movement from the inside. Some even posited he might have been channeling memories of a Native American relative, but his brother shot that down by saying they never grew up with any.

9Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs

Memoirs, as one can easily ascertain, inspire far more scrutiny than their fictional and partly-fictional counterparts. For good reason, of course. In 2007, previously scandal-free Augusten Burroughs wound up sued by the Turcotte family, who adopted him as a teen after his mother abandoned him into their care. Their libel suit railed against depictions in Running with Scissors, particularly involving the allegedly nasty conditions in which they kept their home, the matriarch’s fondness for consuming canine treats, and – most controversially – their allowing children and adolescents to engage in sexual congress with adult paramours. Some pretty nasty accusations eventually laid to rest once Burroughs agreed to a $2 million settlement, though he continues insisting he never embellished or fabricated anything in the book.

10The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown

The Da Vinci Code never hit shelves as anything but a fluffy escapist thriller novel, but author Dan Brown still elicited significant controversy by claiming the history, art, architecture, and theology behind it were painstakingly researched and very, very true. Experts in all fields, however, picked apart everything from the number of glass panes at the Louvre (he claimed 666, reality says 673) to Opus Dei’s clergy structure (it doesn’t have one, but ordains monks in the book). And pretty much everything else Brown bragged about studying in depth and obviously didn’t. Theologians and historians especially noted that many of the sources he cited as showing thorough and irrevocable proof that the Catholics were hiding something were debunked years (if not decades or centuries) before, though they do concede to some degree that all major organizations throughout history have their secrets. Probably not as massive and egregious as the ones featured in the novel, though. Instead of exploding as some edgy, world-changing tell-all like the author intended, The Da Vinci Code eventually faded away as little more than the conspiracy theories of a real-life Dale Gribble whose abysmal research skills would only barely cut it at Fox News.

Let the music take control!

2012-01-18T22:13:00.000-06:00

Good evening!

So the production manager at my job gave me a task this month that is one part awesome, and two parts expected. See, every other office gig I've ever had has started with these words:

First, you need to fix our filing system.

It started right after I was first married and I took a temp job at a medical equipment company. My predicessor, a girl they called, "The pizza girl" for a number of reasons...none of them appropriate for this forum...filed EVERYTHING under "D" for Doctor.

Which means we had 16 drawers for the letter D and ten for the rest of the alphabet.

That job took me almost two years to completely fix.

This time around, twenty years later, I was sure I'd avoided the dreaded task because I've been here for more than 6 months and the closest I've come to the filing cabinets has been on Wednesdays, for about six minutes.

And then 2012 rolled around and with it a need for more file cabinets...

Unless...

Let's just say I'm spending many of my days in the almost unheated shop converting alphabetical files to numerical files for the past 7 years. It's going to take me months. And I love it mostly because I'm good at it and it keeps me away from the nit wit I work with in the office. (She of the Elsie W fame.)

I told you that so I can tell you this: While I'm sorting and filing and assembling in the shop, I get to wear my beloved iPod. And sometimes, I get to sing.

I've been so immersed in working on the Elsie W book(s) that I've sort of put "Fresh Ice" on the shelf. Until this morning, when, while sorting through the year 2007, Night Ranger's "Goodbye" came on.

I had to stop what I was doing.

I was suddenly transported to a cavernous badly lit club in Nashville, where a tall, devastatingly handsome former NHL bad boy was onstage singing this touching song. I...well, I of course was the recently widowed former Olympic figure skater in the balcony, falling in love without even knowing his name.

Yep...I just remembered, I write fiction! I write romantic fiction! I fall in love with my leading men all the time!

You all know that I'm one of those writers who writes as the spirit moves. Well, right now I'm furious with Elsie W, and I see no humor in her. However, I'm in love with Quinn Murray again, so this weekend I'll be traveling back to Nashville, the Waffle House, and the Wild Horse Saloon.

I can't wait.

It's sometimes that easy for writers. Even if you haven't been writing for whatever reason, a song will come on and suddenly you need to get to the nearest computer, the nearest notebook, the nearest quiet spot and write. It's how I wrote "Lies in Chance." I would set it aside for years at a time because people told me it simply wasn't worth any more of my time. And then I'd hear that wonderful Kansas song, "Hold On" and I'd have to go back to Rock Harbor.

Maybe I'm insane. But I don't think so. At least not about this.

Website or not to website...that is the question.

2012-01-16T18:48:00.000-06:00

Hello all!

So during this period of cutting back whilst Hubby is on unexpected time off, I've been pondering the usefulness of my website. I opened the site over a year ago, and haven't exactly burned up the Web with hits on it.

It's something I think every author/writer thinks about when trying to build a career without benefit of a six figure advance. So, basically, if your name isn't Paris, Snookie, or Kardashian, you're wondering about this yourself.

Fledgling websites, generally created by authors who aren't Internet builders, and built on templates such as 1and1 or Intuit offer, are not terrible, but they aren't terribly awesome either. I pay $8 a month for the site, and it sort of shows. My goal has always been to flash it up once sales of my two books take off.

Ahem...those of you who PROMISED you were going to buy the books...I'm waiting!

So while I'm still an otherwise employed author, does it pay to have a website bearing my name?

Some would say yes. Your name in Web world is always a good thing, unless you're the HuffPost headline for some bad behavior. (Wait, that's only bad if you're teaching Sunday School or running for President.) Some would say that it's simply the right professional step for an author to get their name out there.

Some would say no. With blogs, facebook, twitter, and myspace (Does anyone still maintain their myspace? I love mine, but only because I spent a year making it perfect. I haven't been there in eons.) maybe we have enough of a presence, especially since with Pay pal, you can set up a blog to accept payments.

I'm not ready yet to close my site. It's nice, I think, to have a .com that's simple and simply yours. So much better than the web address for this blog, which clearly I created in a haze of pride for my first book and no concept of what a pain in the neck such a long address would be. Thank goodness for bookmarks.

A year from now I may change my mind. But a year from now I hope to have two Elsie books and a new novel out in the world. Maybe more than one person a day will grace the doorstep of www.sarahjbradley.com

The Simpsons RULE...and here's proof!

2012-01-12T08:21:00.000-06:00

Hello all!

Well my friends at Accredited Colleges online have spent the last couple weeks sharing topics with me. I have to say, this this one got my interest before I even read the post!

Best...character...ever.

As many of you know, I've been a long time fan of the TV show "The Simpsons." My favorite character is Ralph Wiggum. The boy doesn't say much, but everything out of that innocent idiot's mouth is comedic gold. My favorite is the episode where everyone entered a cooking contest. Ralphie made a sandwich using his own hand. "My sandwich tastes hurty..." was his brilliant commentary after taking a bite out of his culinary creation.

So it was a no brainer when Accredited Colleges sent me the topic "10 Famous Authors featured on the Simpsons." "The Simpsons" has, for two decades, made celebrity cameos a mainstay of their episodes, celebs ranging from Kim Basinger to Steven Hawking. I didn't realize there's been THAT many authors...and now that I know, I'm wondering why Matt Groenig hasn't called ME.

Anyway, here's the list of the 10 Famous Authors Featured on the Simpsons!

On the air for nearly two decades, many young people today can't even remember a time when The Simpsons wasn't a part of weekly (or in some cases, daily) television viewing. During those twenty years, the show has poked fun at just about every pop culture fad and historical period, as well as scores of famous names. While sometimes silly, the show isn't all fluff, and some of the famous names it's lampooned have been some pretty well-known and well-regarded authors. Whether you want to find out more about authors that might be worth reading or just want to learn more about all things Simpson, read on to find out about some the giants of the literary world who have appeared on the show.

Neil Gaiman

Gaiman is one of the most recent authors to appear on The Simpsons. Famous for his sci-fi and fantasy books, the author was appropriately helping Homer, Bart, and a host of other characters to write a young adult novel about vampires, trolls, and other monsters-of-the-minute that are all over pop culture. An award-winning author of the children's fantasy novel The Graveyard Book, Gaiman uses his expertise to help the team crack the code for creating the perfect best-selling YA novel (hint: it involves mixing elements of Twilight, Harry Potter, and a few trolls), but success in the publishing world isn't quite what they expected, nor is Gaiman the ally in their quest for millions they thought he was.

Stephen King

Stephen King is one of the most prolific and popular authors today, publishing numerous best-selling novels during his long career, so it only makes sense that'd he show up in an episode of The Simpsons. King appears comes into an episode when the family decides to take in a book festival, repayment to Lisa for the destruction of her room in a VCR repair gone wrong. When they meet the iconic author, Marge tells him to, "Call me when you start writing horror again," a jab at the author for getting away from his core audience, perhaps. King dutifully notes her request, however, with no hard feelings.

Amy Tan

Like King, Amy Tan also appears on The Simpsons in the book fair episode. Lisa, excited to meet the author of The Joy Luck Club, participates in a panel with the authors, telling her that she loved the book and that "It really showed me how the mother-daughter bond can triumph over adversity." Tan responds that that's not what she meant at all with the book and that Lisa should just sit down as she's embarrassing the both of them. Not a flattering portrait, perhaps, but one might imagine that after months of promoting a book that's what authors would like to say.

John Updike

He may be a Pulitzer Prize winner, but that didn't stop this famous author from appearing on The Simpsons. Updike is also hanging out at the book fair, but for a different reason than Tan or King. It's revealed that he's the ghost writer behind Krusty's new autobiography Your Shoes Are Too Big to Kickbox with God. Clearly not an awards contender like Updike's Rabbit series, Krusty is at the fair promoting it nonetheless. Updike has few lines and reflected later that he struggled with the small chuckle he was supposed to deliver (which promoted Krusty to tell him to shut up), hoping to make it perfect for the show.

Thomas Pynchon

Thomas Pynchon is a famous recluse, a lifestyle that is perhaps well-suited for crafting the dense and complex novels he writes. While Pynchon hasn't appeared in pretty much any media for decades, he has been featured in not one, not two, but three Simpsons episodes. In the first, called "Diatribe of a Mad Housewife" (an episode rife with literary references, and perfect for any bibliophile) he plays himself, though with a bag over his head. He also writes a blurb for the novel Marge has penned that says, "Thomas Pynchon loved this book, almost as much as he loves cameras!" In his second appearance, his lines consist entirely of puns made off of the titles of his novels (example: "These wings are 'V'-licious! I'll put this recipe in 'The Gravity's Rainbow Cookbook', right next to 'The Frying of Latke 49'"), which are sure to elicit more than a few groans from literature lovers. In his third and final appearance, he takes on a non-speaking role, appearing at the Word Loaf convention along with host of other famous authors.

Mitch Albom

Mitch Albom has written several books, but he's perhaps most famous for his true life story Tuesdays with Morrie. Naturally, the episode on which he appears is a parody of that book, and is called "Thursdays with Abie." Unlike many of the other authors on this list, Albom doesn't only appear on the show as himself, instead also voicing the character of Marshall, a journalist who follows Grandpa Simpson around to record his life stories. Albom also shows up as himself, however, entering the nursing home as a journalist competing to record Grandpa's stories, but is told to take a hike, as Grandpa already has his journalist.

Tom Clancy

Tom Clancy appears in a couple of episodes of The Simpsons, but only has a speaking role, actually voiced by the author, in one. Like Pynchon, Clancy also appears in the episode where Marge decides to become an author. Asked to give a sound bite about Marge's book, Clancy comes up with the groan-inducing, "Hello this is Tom Clancy. Would I say, 'if you're hunting for a good read this October, Marge Simpson's book is a clear and present danger to your free time?' Hell no I wouldn't! Whaddya mean I just said it. That doesn't count. Hello? Hello?" Classic Simpsons humor with a literary twist!

Stephen Jay Gould

If you're not much into non-fiction reading, you might not be familiar with Stephen Jay Gould, but when it comes to writing on evolution, paleontology, and popular science, he was one of the biggest names in the business. Before he passed away in 2002, Gould appeared on an episode of The Simpsons called "Lisa the Skeptic," in which the town discovers a skeleton that they believe to be from an angel. Lisa brings a sample of the angel to Gould to test, while the rest of the town goes gaga over the so-called angel. Gould isn't painted in the best light in the episode, however, never actually doing the tests, but telling Lisa the results were inconclusive.

J.K. Rowling:

Given the fervent following Rowling's Harry Potter series has generated around the world, it would have been difficult for such a pop culture-focused show like The Simpsons to have ignored her influence. When the Simpson family makes a quick hop across the pond to England for a vacation, they run into Rowling as she's coming out of a bookstore. Lisa thanks her for turning a generation of young kids onto reading and asks what happens at the end of the Harry Potter series (the episode was aired in 2003). Rowling replies, "He grows up and marries you. Is that what you want to hear?", much to Lisa's delight.

Michael Chabon

Michael Chabon appears as part of a literary power foursome that includes authors Jonathan Franzen, Gore Vidal, and Tom Wolfe appearing at the satirical Word Loaf Literary Conference. All of the authors have some great lines that poke fun at their work while they praise Moe for his surprisingly inspired poetry (created with the help of Lisa, of course). The episode includes a literary shunning and a great fight between Chabon and Franzen, where Chabon declares, "That's it, Franzen! I think your nose needs some Corrections!" Originally, the episode was to end with the authors being crushed by a boulder, but the show took pity on the authors and let them escape with only mild injuries.

Embracing setbacks...but maybe not just yet.

2012-01-05T22:37:00.000-06:00

Good evening.

Funny how different things can be in 24 hours. 24 hours ago, I was planning on how many times I was going to go to the gym this week yet. I was eager to use my new yoga mat at a class my friend Dee was teaching. I had a goal, 24 hours ago, to start training for a 5K this spring.

24 hours later, I'm praying the gym can cancel or suspend my membership until further notice. 24 hours later, I know I won't need a class to use my yoga mat, because there's a slight chance I'll have to sleep on it at some point. 24 hours later, we are where we were two years ago at this very same time.

Two years ago my husband lost his job. He never saw it coming. Everything was fine, fine fine. Then BAM. the old "We're going in a new direction and we're not taking you with us."

He was out of work for 6 weeks. Not a long time by any standards these days, but certainly a very scary 6 weeks. He found a job in the same business, doing the same thing, for slightly more money. It seemed like a really nice, family centered place. And everything, for nearly two years, was fine, fine fine. We even got a Christmas card from his boss.

Yesterday, he was fired. Again...with no warning. This time, because his boss wanted to hire someone else...and that someone else had just gotten fired from his job, a job he kept over numerous offers from the boss. I guess, when you've been fired, even a job you've passed on five times looks good. So, boss finally gets his wet dream of an employee. Employee gets to work with people he used to work with, people who really didn't like him the first time around. Meanwhile, my husband is kicked out the door with no warning and very little in the way of severance. (They didn't even give him his check that he had coming today. He has to wait until it's been "processed.")

But I'm not telling you this to make you feel sorry for me. Not really. Sure, I'm at a low point in my faith in pretty much everything tonight. My husband is the dream employee...he's hardworking, college educated, quick learning, great with people, and he'll skip lunches, days off, and weekends to do what needs doing. And he got dumped because the apple of the boss's eye got canned two days ago and now deigns to work there.

No, I'm not telling you this make you feel sorry for me or my family. We will, with much prayer and hard work, get through this just like we've gotten through everything else. I'm telling you this, my writing friends, because I know every one of you has a story like this. And, if not a story, a setback, something that can, and does, keep you from your goal of writing for a living.

There's no money in writing. Not really. Not for most. Sure, if your name is James Patterson, or Snooki, you've got the steady writing income. But for the vast majority of authors, we all have to work a J. O. B. to pay the bills between royalty checks.

The temptation is out there, certainly has been for me, to drop writing totally and focus on making money. Just work two, three jobs and pay the bills and give up the stories in my head for something more solid, more steady.

This is when it's gut check time. I work full time. I write in the late and early hours of the day and on weekends. Those are times of the day I could fill with a second paycheck while my husband looks for work and trains for more job skills that might get him employed for a year or two, until the next nepotism train pulls into the station.

I could do that...

Or I could embrace this as a moment to really focus on what I love most and maybe turn that into something big for my husband and my family.

Hey, if he's not working, he'll be doing those projects around the house. Which means the house will be in cleaner, better shape, which means I'm more apt to come home and feel like I could write a chapter or two. I could crank out Two Elsie books and finish the new novel by year's end.

This could be good for my writing career. Adversity is what we authors live on, and frankly, I live in the suburbs of a mid sized Midwest city.

I could...I will...embrace this setback.

Just maybe not today.

My writing New Year's resolutions!

2011-12-31T17:28:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year All!

Some of you out there have already rung in the New Year. What's it like in 2012? Do we have flying cars yet?

This year I've made two separate lists of resolutions. One for my writing career and one for the rest of my messy life. So here goes my writing resolutions:

In 2012 I resolve to:

1) Gain control over the rights to "Dream in Color."

Nothing against Wild Rose Press, but they've had the book for two years now and I'd like to start doing packages and control the price on the book. This will take a lot of work since Wild Rose owns the rights to COVER and I will have to make some minor changes to the book itself so it's NOT exactly the same book. (I've done my homework and Rhonda Penders at Wild Rose has been very helpful and sweet.)

2) Release TWO Elsie books.

I've simply got too much material for just one and I have to get one out before St. Patrick's day. The first will be "I can't fix Stupid but I would like to poke it with Something Pointy." The second, and this is a working title that just popped into my head today "Rude, Stupid, Oblivious and Elsie W: The four Horsemen of the Apocalypse." I also have a short in mind, "Holidays with Elsie W."

3) Finish a publishing ready draft of "Fresh Ice."

Yes, this is the book I was convinced two years ago I was done writing. But, thanks to my brilliant and wonderful critique partner, Linda, I have a lot of work to do. Now my big question is: Will this be an inspirational novel or not?

4) Maintain my home office as a legitimate workspace and not just some place to dump unread mail and girl child's snacks.

Working my office today I realized I'd let about two years of paper pile up in drawers. I've now sorted through things (It's not perfect, but at least I know where it all is.) and things look much better. Next Step: Make sure Girl child gets that this is MY room. That includes moving litter box #3 out of this office FOR GOOD.

So there you have it. Lofty, hopeful, serious resolutions to forward my career.

It's a new year...it's a new chapter.

Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas to all!

2011-12-21T18:59:00.000-06:00

Hello Friends!

WHEW!

Where did December go?

I want to take a moment and say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of you, my readers and friends from all over. Happy and safe holidays to you all, no matter what you celebrate this time of year!

Oh, and remember, BOOKS make great gifts...especially books by ME! Clink on the link below and solve all your gift giving problems. True, you may not have them by December 25th...but isn't a great work of art worth waiting for a couple days?

Shameless plug to Amazon!

I will see you all in the new year, hopefully with great news and a lot of topics from a writer's viewpoint!

See you in 2012!

Oh those sticky grammar rules!

2011-12-13T07:47:00.000-06:00

Good morning all!

After a long abscense from this blog, I'm happy to say that my current work in progress, my "STupid" book, is half written, and I'm looking forward to a late winter/early spring release.

Meanwhile, my friends at Online Colleges have shared a great little piece on controversial grammer rules. Since I'm one of those people who knows WHEN grammar is incorrect, but rarely WHY it is, I found this one really good.

Enjoy!

The 20 Most Controversial Rules in the Grammar World

Like anything else involving stringent rules and regulations, grammar harbors a hefty share of obsessive fanboys and fangirls who enjoy debating its ins, outs, and other various quirks. So of course controversies break out in academia, the media, and even intimate conversations between friends. Here are a few of the ones that churn stomachs and angry up the blood, in no particular order.

The Oxford Comma

Debates regarding whether the Oxford comma should keep on being used are comparable to those about the death penalty and/or abortion. Seriously. Most grammarians have an opinion on the subject, and their opinion is always right and never wrong ever and also they will use and insistent voice when relaying it.

The pronunciation of "controversial"

Go figure. Americans stand divided over whether to pronounce it "con-truh-VUR-see-yul" or "con-truh-VUR-shal." You don't even have to hop a plane across the pond to take part in the battle. Funny enough, Merriam-Webster's and The American Heritage Dictionary acknowledge both pronunciations. So now that a definitive answer exists, it's time to get back to arguing about whether to call it soda, pop, or coke.

Double negatives

Although grammatically correct, debates regarding the permissibility of double negatives keep flaring up from time to time. Talks apparently originated when linguists pondered acceptance of the often controversial African-American Vernacular English, within which the grammar tweak is quite common. Unsurprisingly, these debates inherently come saddled with some rather unfortunate overtones.

"Irregardless"

"Irregardless" appears in at least three different official dictionaries, though all of them admit it's not exactly formal. More traditional grammar aficionados don't think the word deserves to move beyond its slang origins, while others think it's about time the rule-makers acknowledge the evolution.

Ending sentences with prepositions

Here's one the grammarians out there just can't get enough of. Ending sentences with prepositions isn't actually incorrect, but teacher's gonna teach. The myth circulates so widely, English speakers argue the rule's veracity constantly despite the clear-cut answer.

"Hanged" vs. "Hung"

Perhaps not as controversial as some of the other grammar rules presented here, people still mix up — and sometimes argue — over what situations require "hung" and which ones require "hanged." The latter works when describing executions and suicide, while the former works pretty much anywhere else.

Like as a conjunction

Winston Cigarettes unintentionally ignited a pretty nasty grammatical furor back in 1954 with its use of like as a conjunction. Slogan "Winston tastes good like a cigarette should" was once considered so egregious, many broadcasters (such as Walter Cronkite) refused to even read it on air. Further outrage ensued when dictionaries acknowledged that the company was not committing any grammatical error, even touting it as an example of proper conjunction usage. Suffice it to say, this isn't exactly much of a controversy these days.

"Good" vs. "Well"

Feel like setting off an unabashed grammar geek? Mix up "good" and "well" when talking health and happiness. Although not a major controversy splitting the linguistic community, confusing the two will undoubtedly set off a minor mental explosion within individuals.

Text/Internet speak

Traditional grammarians consider Internet and text speak a portent of irreversible vernacular doom. Whether abbreviations, acronyms, the remaining shreds of 1337 5P34
<, or overusing punctuation and emoticons, its seepage into assignments and everyday conversations boils many a language buff's blood. That's evidenced by the fact that slow news days inevitably cover their bubbling rage.

Starting sentences with "however"

Strunk & White loyalists pooh-pooh the thought of beginning a sentence with "however" when one really means "nevertheless." Everyone else just thinks them a bit outdated.

Starting sentences with "but" or "and"

Like their "however" counterpart, "but" and "and" are actually perfectly acceptable ways to start a new sentence. Not every sentence, of course, but some flow even better when launched with a conjunction. Once again, detractors detract simply because of tradition.

Gender-neutral pronouns

English only involves one gender-neutral pronoun: "it," and many in the genderqueer community find the word either insulting or inaccurate. These individuals oftentimes create their own unique alternatives, though none have obviously entered the mainstream vernacular yet. In order to accommodate their desires, however, a gender-neutral pronoun needs eventual inclusion, which will prove a massive boon to LGBT equality and acceptance.

Split infinitives

Yet another grammar rule students frequently find smashed into their heads that doesn't actually exist. Or, rather, its existence is rather dubious. Split infinitives jam an adverb between an unmarked verb and preposition — and they're perfectly acceptable. Just don't tell the teachers whose notes tell them otherwise, OK?

Passive voice

Hit up grammar forums across the Internet and witness the numerous hoards defending passive voice. While technically grammatically sound, many writers think stigmatizing its usage compromises experimenting with the language.

Punctuation inside quotation marks

Depending on the English-speaking nation, punctuation marks either go inside quotation marks (America) or outside (pretty much everywhere else). Considering the fact that this debate wages on an international scale, no further explanation is really needed.

Possessive apostrophes on words that end in 's'

Not every controversial grammar rule out there can brag that it managed to inspire legislation. In 2007, the Arkansas house voted to officially denote possessives as "Arkansas's" as opposed to the more standard "Arkansas.'" Needless to say, this not-at-all-arbitrary act drew its fair share of hissing from grammar purists offended by their apparent affront.

"E-mail" vs. "email"

So yeah. After years of pressure, the AP Stylebook declared that "e-mail" should now be written as "email." And with that came the biggest controversy involving a hyphen since Mariner I. Because nothing in life is more serious than the correct abbreviation of "electronic mail."

Universal grammar rules

With a name like that, how could this theory whip up anything but arguments? Usually attributed to influential linguist Noam Chomsky, the idea of universal grammar rules involve the cognition behind language structures. Its core concept posits that something in every human brain dictates grammar rules, meaning some elements remain static across even vastly different speakers.

The fact that there are different kinds of dashes

Aside from the hyphen, most non-professionals (and probably even some professionals) don't know when to use each one. They kind of all look the same when one reads rather than copy edits — a phenomenon which, of course, detractors will constantly note.

"Who" vs. "Whom"

Even more than "good" and "well," misusing "who" and "whom" is guaranteed to set a grammarian's sphincter on fire. "Whom" comes into play as the object of a preposition or the objective case, while "who" is a subjective pronoun. But they don't have to know you know.

It's taken 30 years...

2011-11-15T20:14:00.001-06:00

Ladies and gentlemen: I've been waiting a very long time to say this:

My story about Shara, Bryan, and all their friends in Rock Harbor is finally in my hands.

"LIES IN CHANCE" is available in PRINT!

CLICK HERE TO ORDER IT AT CREATE SPACE DIRECT.

NaNoWriMo has me spinning!

2011-11-01T19:51:00.000-05:00

Hello my friends!

I will be taking a short break from this blog. For this month of November, I'm participating in National Novel Writing Month. This means I am expected to write 50,000 words, in one month!

My goal is to finish "I can't Fix Stupid" this month so that I can format it and have it on your e-shelves by Christmas. (Print copies may take a bit longer.)

So, my friends, please enjoy reading back issues of this blog...they are all there for you to scroll through! Meanwhile, think of me, pray for me, because I will be in a haze for the next 30 days. Hopefully, when I emerge, I will have completed the Elsie book AND a new romance novel!

You could occupy your time by purchasing copies of "Lies in Chance" and "Dream in Color." I'm just sayin'....

13 Halloween Questions for Author Linda Schmalz!

2011-10-31T06:33:00.000-05:00

Good morning all you ghosts and goblins!

Today is day TWO of my two day giveaway of Linda Schmalz's NEW E-book, "What Dead Women Want."

Remember, you have until THURSDAY of this week to read my review of her book and today's interview, and comment on it (leaving me some contact info, please). Friday I will announce the winner.

So here are 13 Halloween questions for Author Linda Schmalz:

1) Your previous book, "A Lonely Sky" was set in London, New York, and Chicago. The setting for "What Dead Women Want" is very different. Can you tell us why you chose a small town?-Yes. The house that I based Carly's house on was an actual house I babysat in as a teenager, in Delavan Wisconsin, a real life small town.

2) Ghosts and spicy calendars are central to the plot. Which came first when you were thinking about the book?--The ghosts. The calendar idea came to me when I wrote the first draft, but by the final draft, although it wasn't central to the plot anymore, it was such a fun aspect of Mike (our hero), that I kept it in.

3) Carly is a lot of fun to read. What was your inspiration for her?--After writing "A Lonely Sky" and the tragic Julia, I really was in the mood to write something lighter and a story in which my sense of humor could shine.

4) This book is also a bit of a departure for you because it's a paranormal. What inspired you to write a ghost story?--I definitely wanted to write something different from "A Lonely Sky" and am an avid watcher of "Ghost Hunters." That show inspired this book, as did an Irish ballad I heard about two sisters. I put two and two together, and "What Dead Women Want" was born!

5) Do you believe in ghosts?-Yes. I believe that not all of us go directly up or down after we pass. I believe some of us hang around a bit longer to make sure messages get passed to our loved ones, or we finish something we left undone.

6) Have you seen a ghost?--I believe so. I read an obituary in the paper about a cashier who passed away at a store I frequent. The next time I was in the store, I clearly saw "her" in an aisle, stocking groceries. Believe me, I did a double take. I went home and pulled out the obit to make sure she didn't have a twin. She didn't. A few weeks later, I saw her again, walking alone in an aisle and then I saw her one last time at a register, but not doing anything. Haven't seen her since. I hope she finally finished the work she felt she needed to and passed on. :-)

7) Once again, your side characters are a riot, and almost steal the show. Who, in this book, is your favorite?--Thank you. I LOVE my side characters a lot too, because you can have so much fun with them. I think my two favorites were Sunny, and Larry the Plumber. Writing Sunny was like bringing a Barbie Doll to life, and I based Larry on Jack Black's"School of Rock" character. It doesn't get much more fun than that!

8) What's your favorite Halloween tradition?--At a very young age, my son (now almost fifteen) decided he didn't like trick or treating. So instead, we started a tradition of having pizza delivered and watching a scary movie or two! Last year we watched two very old classics: "Night of the Living Dead" and "The Uninvited." This year it will be "Paranormal Activity."

9) What's your favorite Halloween Movie?--"The Uninvited","Poltergeist" and "Dracula" with Frank Langella.

10) Have you developed any fears because of something spooky? (For example, I can't go into dark basements now because I saw "Night of the Living Dead" when I was 13.)--I will forever and always be afraid of spiders. Not sure how this fear developed. There's a huge black on my front porch right now. Usually the husband or son will kill it for me, but this time both said "no". Yep, it's that big.

11) When people read this book, what would you like them to take away from it?--I hope I provided a fun and entertaining read!

12) What music did you listen to when you wrote the book?--When I wrote "A Lonely Sky", I listened to a lot of melancholy music, but for this one, to keep the pace fast and the tone light and fun, I listened to lively music, such as the soundtrack from "Bridget Jones Diary."

13) Can we expect more ghostly stories from you?--I would love to write another ghost story someday! I have the opening line already..."It was a dark and stormy night...".

Thank you, Linda! Now readers, it's your turn! Leave comments on today's interview or on yesterday's review and you will be entered to win a free copy of "What Dead Women Want!"

A Review you can Use: What Dead Women Want

2011-10-30T14:55:00.000-05:00

Hello all!

So it's almost Halloween...and I have a book that will give you shivers of all kinds!

What Dead Women Want by Linda Schmalz is a rare mix of haunted houses, naughty calendars, and really sexy romantic moments.

Carly Middleton either has ghosts in her attic or bats in her belfry, and neither option deems all that spectacular. She is apt to choose her craziness however, rather than admit that her new home in Lake Della, Wisconsin is haunted. But when hunky and handsome Mike Valentine shows interest in Carly's paranormal problem, hormones rule her head, and she agrees to have the house investigated for ghosts. When the investigation proves her home haunted, Carly calls in a psychic who discovers her housemates are two sisters from the Civil War era who refuse to leave until they get what they want; and what they want is a man, and that man is Mike. Unwilling to sacrifice her boyfriend, Carly must find someone else to seduce her dead house guests to the other side. When Hal Davenport, the abusive town menace returns to Della, Carly finds her candidate. But can she convince the ghosts that Hal is a better catch than Mike? Can Hal lure the lingering ladies close to "the light" without dying? As Carly contemplates her plan, her world becomes further complicated by a sick dog, meddling parents and the return of her ex-fiancé. Finally, when Carly is certain she's sent the ladies packing, something still seems amiss.

Schmalz goes to her small town roots for this one, and we are the winners for it. This book is funny, sexy, and spooky, all rolled into one!

Rated:

4 hearts out of four!

"What Dead Women Want" is available where all fine e-books are sold.

Want to win a free copy?

Leave a comment on this blog or tomorrow's interview with Linda Schmalz and your will be entered into a drawing for a free e-copy of her book "What Dead Women Want!" All comments left now through Thursday will be entered to win.

Good luck!

On a personal note, have you voted for the title of my Elsie book? You have until tomorrow night!

Like your Country Music with a side of Technology?

2011-10-26T18:20:00.000-05:00

Hello all!

While I am in the middle of blocking my workplace humor book and rewriting and reviving dead characters for my novel "FResh Ice" I made some new friends. Christine at "Internet Service Provider" shared this nifty list with me of

Top Ten Country Songs About Internet Technology (Enjoy!)

10 Country Songs About Internet Technology

Country music has long had a love-hate relationship with technology. Country singers love cars, trucks and trains. Airplanes aren’t well regarded, and computers and cell phones are usually targets of ridicule. Country songs are usually a pretty good reflector of America’s gut feelings. Listed below are some selections that reference the internet directly, as well as a couple of statements about technology in general.

1.“I Still Like Baloney” – Alan Jackson – “I got a laptop that sits on a desk, I don’t use it much except to check some ole car from yesterday”.

2.“Welcome to the Future” – Brad Paisley – “And I’d have given anything to have my own PacMan game at home. I used to have to get a ride down to the arcade; now I’ve got it on my phone”.

3.“Phones are Ringin’ All Over Town” – Martina McBride – “He’s got friends of his callin’ friends of hers, but she’s nowhere to be found. Phones are ringin’ all over town”.

4.“Dreamin’ in Color, Livin’ in Black and White” – Billy Ray Cyrus – “The cool of the night reveals the spark of a sweeter light, so she’s dreamin’ in color and livin’ in black and white”.

5.“Turn on the Radio” – Reba McEntire – “Try to call, Twitter me, text until your fingers bleed”.

6.20th Century – Alabama – “We had movin’ pictures and radio, and Broadway, country, rock and roll, In 1900 who’d a bet we’d all be surfing on the internet. . .From blocks of ice to air condition, telegraph to television, in 1900 who’d a known we’d all wind up with pocket phones”.

7.“Science” – Willie Nelson – “I was just guessing at numbers and figures, pulling the puzzles apart, questions of science, science and progress, oh take me back to the start”.

8.“Online” – Brad Paisley – “When you got my kind of stats, it’s hard to get a date, let alone a real girlfriend, but I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight every time I log in”.

9.“1982” – Randy Travis – “Operator, please connect me with 1982, I need to make apologies for what I didn’t do”.

10.“Amerika v 6.0 (The Best We Can Do)” – Steve Earle - “Four score and a hundred and fifty years ago our forefathers made us equal as long as we can pay, yeah, but maybe that wasn’t exactly what they was thinkin’, version six-point-oh of the American way”.

Technology has come a long way since “Lonesome Whistle Blues” but country music seems to be fighting it tooth and nail. If anybody can take us back in time, and maybe to Luckenbach, Texas, it’s going to be a country singer.

There you have it! Now, you have two pieces of homework:

1) Go vote for a book title on my humor blog.

2) Go forth and WRITE!

Sneak Peak Sunday! "Lies in Chance"

2011-10-23T19:01:00.002-05:00

In the solitary comfort of his overstuffed armchair, hours after the picnic, Bryan allowed himself to look at his hand, the hand where she touched him. Not a man given to imaginary sensations, he tried to ignore the fact that the tips of his fingers still tingled where her fingers brushed them. Her eyes, deep and wounded, haunted him.

Doesn’t mean a thing. Everyone else has simply lost their minds. He looked at his fingers again. She’s hiding something. He snapped on the television set.

“From his hospital bed today, Richard Bennett, wounded in the shooting spree that took the life of seventy-five-year-old businesswoman Lydia Brandt ten days ago, made a plea for his fiancé, Shara Brandt, to come forward. Miss Brandt, twenty-three, is a recent business graduate of Marquette University, and Lydia Brandt’s granddaughter.”

The next face on the screen was Richard’s. Bryan wanted to look away, but could not, and everything was forgotten as he watched the man he hated make a speech.

“Shara, honey, come home from wherever you are. We all know it was an accident, you didn’t mean to do it. Please come home so the people who love you can get you help.”

The picture melted back to the news anchor. “In an off screen interview this afternoon, Mr. Bennett did say that Miss Brandt has been under a psychiatrist’s care for several years. Authorities say that Miss Brandt is most likely not a danger to others, but if you should see this person you are to call Crime Stoppers at-” Bryan snapped off the set and stared out the window.

Well of course she’s nuts. She was engaged to him.

He looked down at his hand again, a dark thought dawning on him. Could the most innocent Bethany Elias be Shara Brandt? Is that what she’s hiding?

He reached for the phone, but thought the better of it. I won’t call the police just yet. But I’ll be watching very closely. That’s a promise, Miss Bethany Elias

In case you forgot:

2011-10-21T23:50:00.000-05:00

Hello all!

Just taking a bit of a break from my work on my new novel, "Fresh Ice" to remind you that I have two novels floating out there in the wide world of the Internet:

Dream in Color is my Rock and Roll romance. Ramona is a dreamer in a world of colorless expectations. What happens when she finds out her Prince Charming is a broken down rock star with a bad reputation and writer's block? You can purchase Dream in Color in print or digital copy at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or at The Wild Rose Press!

Lies in Chance, a multi character suspense novel, has everything: Romance, suspence, murder, and a good looking, wounded hero! Shara is an heiress caught in a web of lies that already claimed her grandmother's life and threatens her own. The only way for her to discover the whole truth is to live a lie...but she's not the only one in Rock Harbor with something to hide.

Lies in Chance is currently in e-book form. You can get it at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and for you Sony owners and those of you who want to read it on your computer, Smashwords has every other format for you!

Reading the books on this list is the sign of someone who needs an organized mind.

2011-10-16T06:52:00.000-05:00

Hello all!

It's been a few days, but I'm very happy to let you know that "Fresh Ice" is coming along nicely. (I know, you're all very excited. I can feel it!)

One thing about successful authors in this era of publishing: Few of us make a living strictly off of our writing. Which means the vast majority of us work...and write. To do this means we have to be very organized. (How I manage it, I have no idea.)

My friends at accredited online colleges were kind enough to share this article with me this week, and I'm passing it on to you. I like the sound of all these books...and when I get organized enough...I'm going to read them all!

10 Timeless Books for an Organized Mind

The modern world can be a hectic place. Trying to balance work, college courses, a social life, extracurriculars and just having a moment to relax alone is undeniably challenging. These tasks become even worse with an overwhelmed, overworked, or just plain disorganized mind. Taking time to clear the mental clutter and gain control of your thoughts can make just about anything easier — and may even result in a happier, more productive you. Here are some books we think are essential reads for nurturing a clear, focused and organized mind, no matter what you have going on in your life.

1Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu

Written in the 6th century BC, this classic Chinese text’s Taoist wisdom is just as applicable in today’s world as it was when it was created. Topics in the Tao Te Ching range from political advice to practical wisdom, with many wise sayings including guidance like, "knowing others is wisdom, knowing the self is enlightenment." With a wide range of interpretations possible, readers can internalize the advice for just about any personal battle they’re going through.

2Mind Over Mood by Dennis Greenberger

This best-selling book offers advice on how to conquer stress and anxiety by changing the way you think. Developed by two clinical psychologists, it provides readers a chance to get emotions that may be holding them back (like low self-esteem, guilt and anger) under control. As they slowly make their way through the worksheets and activities, readers will learn to feel more confident, happy, and in control of everything in their lives – including the negatives.

3How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life by Alan Lakein

Need some help showing your brain who’s the boss? Lakein’s book offers guidance on building willpower, working smarter and the importance of wasting time — all things that combine to make you happier and healthier, both personally and professionally. It can be especially useful for college students struggling to build time management skills, as it offers a simple and effective method to help you get more done for less investment.

4Organizing for Life: Declutter Your Mind to Declutter Your World by Sandra Felton

Think your cluttered apartment doesn’t have any effect on the way you think and feel? This book will show you how a messy home (or office) can cause stress and nurtures emotional issues, like guilt, fear and bad habits, which may be causing you to wallow in a negative, disordered and restless space. With the help of Felton’s advice, readers will learn how to not only create an organized home, but mind as well.

5The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

A bestseller since its 1990 release, Covey’s book explores the underlying issues that can help one person succeed while another flounders. From improving your work performance to deepening relationships with loved ones, the book offers advice on topics like time management, productivity, positive thinking and controlling your thoughts.

6Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

What makes one experience deeply satisfying while a similar one is not? In this book, psychologist Csikszentmihalyi explains that a state of consciousness called "flow" is the culprit. Readers will learn how to control this state and find deeper, more powerful enjoyment in many more life experiences.

7Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn

Study after study has demonstrated the powerful and brain-altering effects of meditation, and for those seeking greater mental organization, few more beneficial practices exist. In this book, Kabat-Zinn shares lessons about the art and what varying methods have to offer practitioners. A great read for both beginners and pros alike, it is essential to any library for the organized mind.

8Getting Things Done by David Allen

One of the best-selling productivity books of all time, David Allen’s Getting Things Done is a must-read for anyone hoping to seize control of their thoughts and lives. Using Allen’s methods, readers will learn how to quit procrastinating, be more productive and have more time for work and personal and play. One of the GTD’s most effective method? Users can get all those pesky to-dos out of their minds, into a schedule and out of the way so they can use those brain cells for something else.

9Games People Play by Eric Berne

Whether we’re at work or at play, human beings are a theatrical species. As much as we’d like to think otherwise, many of our interactions with others take on the form of elaborate and carefully-orchestrated games. It can often be difficult to puzzle out the rules or understand winning them. That’s where this book comes in. Readers will find an in-depth analysis of basic human social interactions, which can help them better process the power, competitive, and sexual games we play each and every day.

10The Art of Happiness by The Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler

Happiness is no accident, as you’ll learn here. Essentially an interview with the world-renowned Buddhist leader, the text may answer many questions weighing on your mind, from how to deal with death and loss to the best anger management strategies. At the heart of the lessons the Dalai Lama offers are keys perhaps unlocking true happiness and inner peace — maybe even a touch of enlightenment.

Pirate, Cowboy, Scottish Lord...where the *$^&#(#% is the "Normal" hot guy?

2011-10-11T22:22:00.000-05:00

Cover art is hard.

I should amend that. Cover art is hard in one of two ways:

1) You're writing for a big publishing house that gives you stock art and you have no say in what goes on the cover of your magnificent opus and therefore you wind up with a skinny, short metro sexual tidy boy when your hero is a rough and tumble bad boy who is six feet tall and may...or may not...smell like leather, sweat, and tequila. (or, vice versa)

2) You're one of those rogue e-pubbers who does everything from the ground up and, while you revel in the freedom to chose your own art for your cover, you realize that you might not have a great eye for cover art and may make a very wrong decision.

For "Dream in Color" I worked with the fantastic artist, Nicola Martinez, through Wild Rose Press. (See cover art above.) All I had to do was fill out the form they sent me and POOF, I got the cover of my dreams. Well, not precisely, but it was really close and actually more beautiful than I could have come up with.

For "Lies in Chance" I wanted something edgier than "Dream" and since I was picking on my own, I spent a very long time working on the cover art...again with Nicola Martinez. (She's great and she's FAST. Contact me if you need a cover artist...I have her email here somewhere...) So I found the amazing, I thought, pic of the girl climbing out of a river. Pretty much the first five pages of the book. Sales have lagged, so I'm not sure if I'm a terrible author, or if the cover art isn't good. I love it...it's mine...and I would never change it.

Now I'm working frantically to have "Fresh Ice" out either before Christmas or shortly after the first of the year. Since I've managed to vomit out the first draft, I'm optimistic, and therefore looking again for cover art.

I have a very specific image in mind. But, after spending quite a lot of time searching the Internet for something close to that image, I'm at a loss. I'm looking for a tall, dark, handsome, fit but burly sort of guy...with green eyes, and a small blond woman. (Clearly, I give a lot more thought to my heroes.)

I'm looking at various images and I realized something: romance covers fall into three basic categories: Pirates, Scottish Highlander Lord guys, and cowboys.

WHERE ARE THE "NORMAL" hot guys?

Seriously...where are they? Where's the guy in the half unbuttoned white shirt with pecs that go on for days, but he's got a haircut guys would wear in 2011, and he's wearing jeans...and not a cowboy hat?

This sort of fits with my angst about literature in general. The modern day alpha male in woman's lit and romance is a dying breed, and I blame Lifetime TV. I like Lifetime, but I do get tired of a steady diet of "strong woman rescues self while Hot man looks confused." Please. I already work full time, keep a house, volunteer, and help raise two kids. I'm tired of doing it all...can't I have a screamin' hot guy come and rescue me? Would that be so wrong? Do I have to turn in my woman card? I WANT A MODERN DAY ALPHA MALE TO RESCUE ME FROM THE BAD GUY AND NOT APOLOGIZE FOR IT LATER.

Emily Bronte is my hero because she created a dark hero...set in her time. I want to create a dark hero...in my time. Unfortunately for me, romance novels seem to be stuck in the idea that guys like that existed in the 1800's and sailed pirate ships while wearing kilts.

Sheesh.

I'm not a graphic artist, and I can't draw. This is why I hire a cover artist. But I'd like to be able to hand her something and say, "now put hockey skates on him...in a sexy way."

That's just not going to look right if he's wearing a cowboy hat and a kilt.

For all you iPad language learners out there...I give you this!

2011-10-05T06:05:00.000-05:00

Good morning!

My friends over at Online College have once again sent me an article I think you're going to enjoy, especially if you've an Ipad. (And if you do...you know you CAN buy "Lies in Chance!")

Anyway if you have an iPad and if you want to learn a new language, check out these nifty apps!

40 Coolest iPad Apps for Language Learners

The iPad has proven itself an incredible tool for learning, and language learning is no exception. Whether you're learning Spanish or the Japanese Kanji, there's a way to do it on the iPad. Of course, the device allows you to take learning further than a simple textbook would do, with flash cards, city tours, foreign news, and even delicious cultural cuisine. Read on, and you'll find 40 awesome apps that will not only teach you the language you wish to learn, but immerse you in another culture as well.

1Fotopedia Paris

French students can explore the City of Light in photos right from the iPad. Study the art, street life, architecture, and even the Louvre with Fotopedia Paris.

2Count To Ten

This numbers game will teach you how to identify the numbers one through 10 in ten different languages, including English, Spanish, French, Italian, and German.

32011 World Factbook

Study countries from around the world and better understand the culture behind the languages you're studying.

4Hello-Hello Spanish for iPad

Use this app's innovative methodology for building communication skills, vocabulary, and more in Spanish. This app offers the ability to take notes, and even learn offline.

5AIUEO-HIRAGANA for iPad

Touch, listen, and learn Japanese in an intuitive way with this app. You'll be able to touch any character for clear pronunciation, and use the app to learn the Hiragana and Katakana alphabets.

6Word Lens

Word Lens allows you to instantly translate words just by pointing your built-in video camera at text, taking words from one language to another in real time.

7Latin Study Buddy!

Learn basic Latin vocabulary with the help of this tool, featuring a test mode, report card, and study mode for referencing Latin words.

8Beginner Japanese for iPad

Start learning Japanese on your iPad in just minutes each day using this iPad app. Follow storylines, get personal teachers, and even detailed lesson notes with cultural insight.

9Remembering the Kanji

Remembering the Kanji utilizes the Heisig Method for learning Japanese Kanji, with slides and flashcards making this tedious task feel fun with an easy to use interface.

10Univision

Spanish students can follow the news and more in Univision's app. Find Univision Spanish language content, including articles, videos, and more for an understanding of not only the Spanish language, but the culture of Mexico as well.

11Google Translate

Arguably the best translator available for the iPad, Google Translate can translate between 58 languages, some of which can be spoken in instead of typed, and even spoken aloud. Amazingly, this app can automatically detect the language of the text, and spell out the translation of non-Latin script languages as well.

12MindSnacks Italian

With a name that's sure to have you hungry for some pasta, MindSnacks goes beyond food and inspires Italian learning. Use this app to play games, complete challenges, and master words and phrases in Italian.

13Human Japanese HD

This app features Japanese learning with a human touch, teaching students not just canned phrases, but also how to build a linguistic and cultural understanding. In Human Japanese HD, you'll find animations, recordings, interactive games, and much more to help you master the Japanese language.

14Al Jazeera Arabic Live

Students of Arabic can watch the news live from Al Jazeera on this channel. News is spoken in Arabic, so learners can follow along with native speakers.

15Free City Maps and Walks

Even if you're not planning a trip to accompany your new language skills, you can benefit from this app. It allows you to take a virtual walking tour of 470 different cities worldwide, immersing you in the city's major attractions and routes.

16Free Spanish Tutor

Learn or refresh your Spanish skills with this language lab. It's available offline, offering interactive study tools including puzzle games, write in quizzes, and flash cards.

17Midori

Midori is a Japanese dictionary app with more than 146,000 word entries, including 150,000 example sentences. You can search and translate, even using handwriting to find what you're looking for in this innovative Japanese dictionary app.

18iLoveYou in 50+ Languages

When all you need to do is say I Love You, this is the app you need. Available in more than 50 different languages, you can share your romance in an international way.

19NHK World TV Live

Use NHK World TV Live to watch Japanese news live on your iPad. You can follow along and learn about Japanese news while at the same time absorbing the language, all in real time.

20Vocabulary Trainer: English-Spanish

Use the Vocabulary Trainer app to learn the 1,000 most common words in Spanish. This app offers a fun training game that you can play for a few minutes every day to build your knowledge.

21Language Master Western Europe

Through "addictive gaming," Language Master will teach you essential words for Western Europe, including French, German, Greek, Italian, and Spanish. Continue playing regularly, and you'll be able to master 72 words of each language.

22Best of French Cuisine

Study French through the food of the country, with 50 excellent French cuisine recipes, including last minute menus, wine recommendations, and a glossary to explain it all.

23AP Mobile

The Associated Press offers comprehensive news coverage, including international news. You'll find headlines from both local and foreign newspapers that will allow you to follow the news in the country of the language you're studying.

24Japanese Phrases Free

Find Japanese sound files, lessons, and a great search function for finding any word or phrase in Japanese or English. You can even save or favorite phrases to study later or email to yourself.

25Language Translator

Need a quick and free translator for several different languages? This is your app. You can translate words, phrases, and even entire paragraphs of text between languages from Afrikaans to Yiddish.

26World Customs & Cultures

Understand customs and cultures along with language with the help of this app. You can find out about communication style, gestures, greetings, personal space, and more, so you can not only talk like a local, but act like one too.

27French 101 Vocabulary

In this app, you'll find basic French language vocabulary, including money, family, weather, date and time, all in interactive study tools that can be used with or without network access.

28Lingolook Spanish

Use Lingolook to master your understanding of Spanish travel phrases. This app has more than 800 words and phrases with audio translations and illustrated flashcards that make learning easy and fun.

29Translator with Voice

Get translation including voice support by using this app. It can read translated languages aloud for you, whether you need Mandarin or Dutch.

30Busuu.com

Learn French with this app from Busuu.com, offering over 3,000 words and phrases in 150 different topics. You'll also find recordings by native speakers, and an ability to synchronize your learning with your profile on Busuu.com.

31Japanese Flash

Japanese Flash has "extreme Japanese training," made by students of Japanese for students of Japanese. Review your vocabulary, practice what you don't know, and make your own sets to customize Japanese learning with this app.

32French Word of the Day

Take French one day at a time with this Word of the Day app. You'll find a French word with the English translation, along with a sample sentence for word usage.

33Little Pim Spanish

From PBS, Little Pim Spanish is a great app for teaching early learners Spanish with 60 Spanish words and phrases. Kids can play interactive games that teach basic nouns, verbs, and short phrases.

34Plango

Plango offers a language learning store for downloading multimedia for foreign language proficiency, and even English for non-native English learners.

35Free French Essentials

AccelaStudy shares this education software for learning new French words quickly and permanently. You'll be able to hear native speaker audio, find commonly used verbs, and track your learning progress with automatic statistics.

36Italian Food

Spaghetti lovers and Italian students alike will love this app. It offers Italian recipes, culture, and even a map, featuring a recipe search by towns and regions. Have fun studying the language of Italy and its food at the same time.

37Free Spanish English Dictionary +

Get a great starting point for learning Spanish with a comprehensive database of words and phrases in this app. You'll be able to find words quickly and improve retention with notes and images.

38Free Italian Tutor

This app offers 24/7 language learning in Italian, going beyond a simple talking phrasebook and flashcards with interactive quizzes, optimization, and write in language recall.

39French Gender

Learn the difference between masculine and feminine French nouns with the help of this app, offering patterns that can help you get it straight once and for all.

40Multi Lang Dictionary and Translator

This app makes it easy to look up multiple translations and definitions. You'll be able to look up online and offline dictionaries, translations, text to speech, and more.

Thank you Karri Turner! Oh, and you're welcome!

2011-10-01T17:25:00.000-05:00

Good afternoon!

I've spent THE MOST BLISSFUL afternoon writing. It's been far too long since the last time I sat down and just WROTE.

Today I was working on "Fresh Ice". The hero, Quinn Murray, is a former NHL "enforcer" with a very dark past. For me, it was a no brainer as to what the man looked like, or sounded like:

Most of you recognize this as David James Elliott of "JAG" fame. Ladies, the man has "HERO" written all over him, right? But picture him all angsty in a sort of heroic way...and on hockey skates. Nice, right?

The heroine, Izzy Marks, is a former figure skater who was forced out of skating in shame. While writing her story was easy for me, because I know SO MUCH about shamed figure skaters....pause for loud laughter...picturing her was a bit more difficult. Heroes I see clearly. Heroines, well, okay, in my first novel, let's face it, that was me. And in my second novel...also me...but younger.

This time around I set out to write a woman who was NOT ME. But casting about for a good mental image of Izzy was tough.

Until I was watching DVD of JAG. It was one where Karri Turner and Patrick Laborteaux did the commentary. Normally I don't watch DVD's with the commentary on, but since I adore their characters (I always wanted to live next door to Bud And Harriet.) I thought I'd give it a try.

Boy, am I glad I did!

See, they were commenting on an episode...oh I won't bore Non-JAG fans out there with the details. Let me just say this: Karri Turner was sort of bemoaning the fact that her character was the only one in the main cast that DIDN'T wind up in bed with DJE's character. (Yes, Patrick had some uncomfortable retort to that.)

That got me to thinking: The woman deserves to be in bed with DJE, in some way. And that's when I came across this picture of Karri Turner;

How perfect is she for my Izzy?

Well, you haven't read the book, so you don't know, but trust me...she's PERFECT!

And in my head, the movie is casted and filming. LOL!

So...Karri Turner, thank you for the inspiration...and, YOU'RE WELCOME!

Now, I must go forth and WRITE!

If a picture is worth 1000 words...

2011-09-29T20:02:00.000-05:00

One of the best exercises EVER came from a writer's group I used to work with. (Hey, Tuesday night Park and REC! WHOOT!)

Anyway, the leader put up a picture and had us write pages. For me, it wound up being the chapter around which I built "Lies in Chance." So it was a big deal.

Tonight, I wanted to share a picture I got from a friend. It's hilarious, it involves Kittens, and if Brian from Bob and Brian show is reading this, he will love it.

Now, let the picture inspire you!

Or just make you laugh!

Once an e-pub always and e-pub?

2011-09-28T08:36:00.000-05:00

Hello all!

I'm currently in the midst of working on two big writing projects. The first is a currently untitled humor book about my life with the female nit wit at my office. (You can vote for a title here.) The other is a straight up romance about a former figure skater and a former NHL star. (It's first for me, I actually set out to write a romance, and by gum, I'm doing it!)

Elsewhere, as you may know, I have two books out in various forms. The first is Dream in Color, which you can get in print or e-book form (and yes, Nook users, you can get it at Barnes and Noble.) and then Lies in Chance which is in e-book form only. (And both these books could use your help! AHEM!)

I like the idea of being an e-pubbed writer. While the guarantees aren't there...yes, I've sold about 11 copies of Lies in Chance, but I just know that any day now people are going to go crazy for this book...I at least have the book out there for people to read. For a new author, one without the support of Oprah, (who would LOVE my books if she read them, of this I am certain) just having titles out there is key. I love having control over my cover, my editorial content, the name under which a book is published.

Marketing...however...and distribution...well, that's not as much fun.

So now I've got these two writing projects going, and I'm really confident that one or the other or both are going to blockbuster big. If I e-pub myself, I can get them out for sale quickly. If I go through a publisher, I once again step on the treadmill of submit and reject. Then, if I'm lucky, an editor will buy my book, and then I lose a lot of control over the book. ("Lies in Chance" is ALL MINE.)

So, even though I've only got two titles out there and I'm not making $300 a day (I'm a disciple of J A Konrath that way) my writing career is my own. It's exhausting, but the covers I pick are mine. The titles I pick (as lame as they can be sometimes) are mine.   How much I sell the books for are mine.

On the flip side, the two books I'm working on have a ton of potential. Like a moderate advance check sort of potential.

So, am I a fool to consider going back to traditional publishing, in the interest of furthering my career as an author? Now that I've chosen the path of e-publication, is that the way I must always go?

Charting where and how our writing careers go is a very inexact science. What works for someone may not work for someone else. As a follower of J A Konrath I believe in the power of the e-book. I believe that publishing is heading in that direction and that while print books will never go away, a day will come when more people get their books on a reading device than from a book store.   (And yes, I can hear my author friends running and shrieking. Hey, I never thought music stores and video stores would die...but when I can buy one song for a buck, or stream unlimited movies for a minimal fee, then why should I get in my car and drive anywhere? E-books are here to stay.

On the flip side of the coin...the perception is still that someone who is e-published can't get published anyplace else. That is a perception that is changing more slowly than the reality. Successful e-pub authors edit just as much as those who are writing under contract. Maybe the slick polish isn't there, maybe the story is a bit more raw.   But aren't we told from early on that the world is looking for our singular voice? Still, the perception persists that e-pubs just aren't as good as "real" books.

So if I've got a slam bang story that I know is going to fit perfectly with a giant publisher, am I an idiot for even considering NOT submitting to the publisher, who could give me big distribution and make me a more recognized name? Or am I shackling myself and giving up my lifeblood to enrich someone else?

I don't have the answer for these questions. I don't think anyone does. I think we creative types very much just want to share our vision and our stories with others. All I want is to have someone other than my best friends and my mom enjoy my books. (Well, that and I'd like to quit my day job and just write.)

Now, you don't need to answer the question for yourself. You just need to go forth and WRITE!

Planning or pantsing...which works best?

2011-09-17T07:56:00.000-05:00

Good morning all!

Today one of my goals is to sit down and actually begin solid writing work on my new book of office stories. (By the way...go vote for a title for this book here.) It's the first time that I can recall that I first planned out a book and then sat down and wrote it.

Must debate is made...some of it right here...about what works best when it comes to writing. I know writers who spend long laborious hours with character backstories, story boards, outlines, the whole thing. By the time they're ready to sit down and write, they have presentation material that would make any business CEO sweaty in the naughty places. (Okay, sorry, but I just had a vision of some big CEO guy getting all juiced up because of a stack of story boards. LOL)

As for me...well, I just don't have that kind of time. I write the way I make friends. Things develop as I go along. Sure, I have to go backwards often and adjust things about the character or in the plot because I've decided to take a different route further down the line. The best example of that is while I as writing Dream in Color. I had an idea where the book was going. My main characters had other ideas.

Which is better, which saves time? Both and neither, I believe. For those who plan...time is chewed up in the planning stages. The actual writing, I'm told, is a breeze. But it's the planning that takes all the time. For those of us who write by the seat of our pants, a lot of time is taken up "fixing" things behind us that we've changed ahead. My new novel, Lies in Chance, took me nearly 30 years to write...and I can't blame all of that on my real life. That book should have, could have been done long ago...had I had a clear idea of where these characters were going. (By the way...word on the street is that this book is better than my first. Those are some of the early reviews I'm getting from friends who've read it. I'm just sayin'!)

The end result of either method, however, is the same: a completed writing project. So does it matter how we write? I don't think so...so long as we actually WRITE.

So today I'm starting work on a book that I've actually plotted out. It's a weird feeling, knowing how this is all going to go. In my head I'm hoping I'll be done writing it later this morning. In reality, however, I've given myself until mid December to get this out into e-book land. And then I'll continue my fun seat of my pants ways.

Meanwhile, pantser or planner, go forth and WRITE!

What we can't forgot...and what we can do.

2011-09-11T11:37:00.001-05:00

Hello my friends.

Today is the 10th anniversary of the September 11th attacks on the US.

It's sort of my generation's Pearl Harbor, or Kennedy Assassination. Everyone my age knows exactly where they were the moment the two planes hit the Twin Towers in New York, the Pentagon, and the field in Pennsylvania.

I can tell you where I was and what I was doing:

I was in the car, stuck in traffic in downtown Waukesha. The Boy had just been picked up to go to school and the Girl and I were on our way to my mother's house. My parents had just moved into their home and I was going to spend the morning moving furniture around. The Girl had preschool in the afternoon, so I was a little frustrated at the traffic detour that took me through the snarled streets of Waukesha.

I was listening, as I have for almost 20 years, to Bob and Brian on the radio. Their sports guy, Steve Czaben, was starting his segment at about 7:50 in the morning. He started by telling the guys to turn on their TV in the studio, that some idiot had just flown his plane into the World Trade Center.

As they turned on their TV, and as they watched, the second plane hit.

"Sports is over." Was all they said and they went right to their producer, Eric, who got as much news out as quickly as he could.

I know most people in SE Wisconsin flipped over to the two powerful AM stations for news. I was too stunned, and I needed the comfort of familiar voices. So I listened to Bob and Brian until I got to my mother's house and we had the TV and the AM news radio on. I moved no furniture that day.

I don't speak of it often. I start crying when I do. This weekend has been emotional for me. I know today, especially, we'll see the images we've seen for 10 years. Images a new generation "the children of 9-11" need to see to remind them how fragile peace and life are and how heroic normal people can be when called upon.

For me, the image I carry with me every day is a quiet one. It's not one you'll see in most of the remembrance shows. I couldn't find it on the Internet to post it here. of the many images they showed after the attacks, one is so much a part of me now I wear it on my heart. It was an image of a street. There were no people on the street, only some parked cars, covered in ash, and shoes. Hundreds of pairs of shoes. Women's shoes everywhere in this street. The woman ran for their lives so hard, they left behind their office shoes. For me, as a person who loves shoes, this image made so clear to me the panic those people must have felt.

So today, my friends, I ask one thing: Let's be kind to each other. Let's learn to live peacefully with our differences and work together where there is common ground. Let's never forget the events of the past and let's learn from them. Let's embrace our friends, near and far, and let's use our powers for good, to build, not to destroy.

God bless us, all.

Don't Blog Angry!

2011-09-06T19:05:00.001-05:00

Good evening!

Most of you know I also work on a humor blog that follows my every day life and the scewed way I view it. And most of the time I have great joy in writing for that blog because I do love making people laugh.

Blogging, and the Internet in general, has, as we all know, broken down the barriers of good manners and self editing. We now have the power to blog, tweet, face book every little thought that comes in to our heads. I don't know about you, but not every thought that comes into my head is worthy of sharing with the entire planet. (Which is why I'm always pleased and amazed that folks from all over the world read this blog.)

Reading some of the posts that my children and their less inhibited contemporaries chose to spray paint across the virtual universe, I'm often reminded of something I was told years ago, and I have repeated it over and over:

Never put into print something you wouldn't want your mother to read.

Given the fact that we will in an era where maybe motherhood isn't quite the hallowed calling it once was (I think Maury Povich would agree) I've long since qualified the statement to this:

Never put into print something you wouldn't want your GRANDMOTHER to read.

A funny thing, coming from the offspring of two ridiculously conservative parents and their even more conservative, traditional grandparents. It's doubtful that my beloved grandfather, a Lutheran minister for more than 50 years, would appreciate my saucier writing. (And my grandmother...well, she loves reading Janet Oke. I'm no Janet Oke. Not even in my real life!) But I truly believe that even though we have the ability to broadcast every word in our brains, maybe we shouldn't.

Which brings me to why I'm not blogging over at my humor blog. My coworker, about whom I am currently writing a book that will have you blowing milk throw your nose (I PROMISE) has pushed me to a place that is no longer funny. It's dark, and it's cranky, and it very much wants its bottle...preferably of pinot noir.

So today I'm exploring the wisdom of restraint. As writers we all have to exercise it. We have to restrain ourselves from shrieking "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" at an agent/editor appointment. We have to restrain ourselves from mocking someone else's writing just because ours hasn't been held up as brilliant...yet. As big as it may seem, the writing community, especially on the Web, is a very small group. Word gets out. If you bad mouth an agent or an editor online, it will get out. And you will suffer the consequences.

To quote something I think every one's grandmother said: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

I'd like to tweak that a tiny bit.

If you don't have anything nice to say, and you can't make what you want to say funny, don't say it.

Don't blog angry. It may feel good at first, but you never know who is reading what. As budding authors, we can't afford to tick off someone we've never even met.

Now, my friends, be joyful, be happy, go forth and WRITE!

The voting is open!

2011-09-03T22:15:00.000-05:00

Hello all!

It's finally up! I'm taking votes on the top ten reader suggestions for my new workplace humor book.

Get your vote in by going here!

Vote early, vote often! Winner gets all of my published books! :)

If a picture is worth 1000 words are we writing with an eye toward the big screen?

2011-09-02T15:39:00.000-05:00

Good day all!

Like most Americans, my children went back to school this week. I'm especially envious of my son, who is a senior in high school. He is taking a class called "Music in Film." Where were those classes when I was a senior? (Oh yeah, we were taking "Intro to word processing" on these things called computers that were one day going to replace the typewriter.)

I'm envious because I love all things movie. There aren't many movies I hate enough to never watch again. (Although "Lost in Translation" would be at the top of the list.) I am especially fond, as you readers know, of movies based on books. It's a long debate, the book to movie adaptation quality, and not the point of my blog today.

Today, as I was thinking about movies and books and books and movies, I realized that with both Dream in Color and with Lies in Chance, I wrote with the thought of how the story would look on screen. In fact, with Lies in Chance, I really wrote it more like a made for TV movie (Hello? Lifetime Movie Network?) than anything else.

It's certainly not a new concept, this writing with a thought for movie rights. I know many of my writer friends joke about retaining movie rights and not letting Hollywood WRECK their work. (John Grisham's "The Firm" stands as one of the all time worst movie adaptations. People actually booed the film in theaters...and no, I wasn't the only one booing!) Authors, I think, especially authors of this generation, look at people like Stephanie Meyer and JK Rowlings and think, "That's where I want to be. Book signings AND movie premiers."

But the question is...should we? Should we as writers actually plan out plot lines and scenes with the idea that this book may one day be a movie? Has writing changed so much that instead of winning the National Book Award, we dream of winning the Oscar for best screenplay based on previously published works? Does writing with this thought in the back of our mind help or hurt the stories we tell?

I recently watched the most recent incarnation of "Jane Eyre." I'm not saying the movie was bad because NOTHING with Dame Judi Dench is going to be bad. But it was slow moving, tedious,and not at all the "INTENSE UPDATED VERSION" I was promised in the trailer. Since "Jane Eyre" is one of my favorite books, I'm well versed in many of the multitude of movie versions out there. Some are good. Some are terrible. Clearly, Charlotte Bronte was not writing for movies or plays or tv. Yet her book of an orphaned governess and the handsome landowner with a dark past continues to inspire readers and movie watchers alike.

I maintain that some books, albeit a very few, are made better by their movie versions. Ah, yes a mention of Moby Dick, the worst book ever published in the English language! Yet, there are many movie versions of this dull, unwieldy book, and why? Because at the core of the 700 pages of drech is an epic story about chasing the impossible dream and then having that dream turn into a nightmare. So the movie, which cuts out about 650 pages of the book, brings out the heart and soul of the story and makes Moby Dick an American classic.

Some books translate to film well, regardless of whether or not the author planned it. "Gone With the Wind" is a very visual book as well as a beautifully filmed movie. (And, while the two have almost nothing in common other than character names, they are both near the top of my reading and movie lists.) "Rebecca" is a great novel, and, at the hand of the master, Alfred Hitchcock, the movie is sneaky in its creepy vibe, not to mention a very striking visual, especially given that it's in black and white.

So, do you write with dreams of your story on the big screen? (Again...Lifetime Movie Network...I'm waiting for your call!) Writing is not, by definition, a visual art. We are weavers of words, painters of word pictures. We may have a good story, but if our word pictures aren't clear enough, any attempt at a movie is going to fall flat.

The business of writing is far different than those of years gone by. Authors are encouraged to bring out big actions on page one. Long passages of description are discouraged. Everything is compressed. We do not have Melville's luxury of writing every thought we might have on the subject of whaling, whaling in art, whaling in sermons. We live and write in a "get to the point" world. I think by simply working under the rules of publication, anything we write now feels more and more like a movie or tv show than a book from a century ago. Maybe it's part of the natural evolution of things as we progress through a new millennium.

As for me, I'll just keep dreaming of accepting my Oscar, thanks! That, or an Emmy for my Lifetime Movie!

Readers, I need your help!

2011-08-28T07:20:00.000-05:00

Good morning!

I've decided that the next work I'll be publishing is a collection of short essays/stories about my work place life, especially concerning with the woman I share space with. (She is quite hilarious!) If you haven't been following along with that saga, flip on over to my humor blog It Can Only Happen To Sarah! and catch up.

Anyway, my friends, I need your help! I am terrible at titling my books. My most recent release Lies in Chance, has an alternate title. (Which I may change it to if people don't start buying the book!) Dream in Color the title of a Rick Springfield song that inspired the book. So finding a title for a book is almost harder than writing the book!

I've posted it on Facebook, and I've posted it on my humor blog, and now I'm posting it here. I am having a contest for the best title of this new work. Send me all your ideas. I will pick the five I like best and post them for voting NEXT WEEKS on my Laundry List Friday post over at It Can Only Happen to Sarah!

The author of the winning title will receive free copies of all my published works. (Having an e-reader of some sort or a computer is pretty much a must!)

Thank you and GOOD LUCK!

In honor of the first day of school...a reading list!

2011-08-25T19:23:00.000-05:00

Hello all!

My friends at Online College have compiled a list of novels with educators in mind. Since in the US it's "back to school" time, I thought it an excellent time to share this reading list with you. Best of all, I'm proud to say I've actually read a good number of these books and they are well worth a look.

20 Moving Novels Every Educator Should Read

"Moving" means different things to different readerships, so pitching a little Internet hissy fit over inclusions or exclusions isn't exactly going to accomplish anything. This list strives to feature books that will appeal to a few different demographics rather than sticking exclusively with the tried-and-true maudlin Hallmark tearjerkers. Just about the only thing they have in common is an education theme or setting, which might very well pique the interest of industry professionals. Love them or hate them, all of these reads still provide a lesson or two — maybe even a bit of inspiration as well.

1.Goodbye, Mr. Chips by James Hilton

The eponymous schoolteacher overcomes his own insecurities regarding the succeeding generations, only to find himself losing colleagues and students alike in the Franco-Prussian War and World War I. But in spite of everything, Mr. Chipping eventually solidifies his reputation as an ardent people-person absolutely adored by everyone at Brookfield (the all-boy's private school at which he teaches). Interestingly enough, it is his complete dismissal of all things political, no matter the side, as all rather silly and pointless that ultimately wins him such favor.

2.To Sir, With Love by E.R. Braithwaite

Part autobiography, part novel, E.R. Braithwaite's intense, inspiring 1959 publication tells the tale of a former RAF crew member who finds himself teaching secondary school in the volatile London East End. Battling apathy in the classroom and racial discrimination outside it, Ricardo Braithwaite decides to carpe himself some diem and take an even-now-unorthodox approach to educating his sighing students. Since they desire treatment as adults, by god he'll give him that, and lessons include museum trips and more open, frank communication — all of which prove incredibly effective, long-term strategies.

3.Up the Down Staircase by Bel Kaufman

One of the quintessential stories featuring an inspiring teacher reaching out to struggling inner-city students, Up the Down Staircase simultaneously kicked off and defined a genre. The whole narrative is relayed through letters, notes, memos and other epistolary communications and takes place during one of America's most game-changing eras. School prayer is now outlawed, and tensions swell thanks to desegregated campuses and buses — and bureaucratic migraine after institutional migraine definitely don't make the protagonist's life easier.

4.Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi

Educators who love memoirs and nonfiction novels might want to consider picking up Azar Nafisi's bestselling, inspirational sensation. She moved back to her native Iran shortly after the Shah's deposition and the installation of a militant Islamic regime commenced; as pressures mount, defiance emerges as an all-woman book club. Although the ladies share "Western" literature — which Nafisi adores — they bond over finding commonalities with their trying situations, perfectly illustrating just how the best books resonate across time and geography.

5.Dialogues by Plato

Plato's adaptation of discussions between his mentor Socrates and other highly influential Classical Greek philosophers may not possess a traditional novel structure, but warrant inclusion here all the same. His series of detailed dialogues serve as a particularly piquant read for teachers fascinated by education's rich history and seemingly endless approaches. No matter one's opinion of Socrates' philosophies, one has to admire how he'd willingly face false accusation, conviction, prison time and execution (famously via hemlock) all for the sake of pursuing greater knowledge.

6.On Beauty by Zadie Smith

In her homage to E.M. Forster's Howards End, the sparkling British writer cheekily satirizes higher education while proffering some provocative, essential insight into race relations. Here, Zadie Smith compares and contrasts the UK and US, atheism and belief, black and white (and mixed-race), conservatism and liberalism, wealth and poverty and other common binaries; Affirmative Action, of course, stands as one of the book's more fiercely-debated topics. Despite considerable drama both on and off campus, however, the two families at the novel's core still manage to find common ground and strive towards some semblance of harmony.

7.Plum Wine by Angela Davis-Gardner

An American educator at Tokyo University buckles under isolation, a complex romance and the loss of a beloved colleague — all made more trying as she begins learning more and more about Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Through bottles of carefully labeled plum wine and stacks of written memories, she grows even closer to her deceased friend and fellow professor…as well as the childhood friend pressed into translating. Valuable lessons about bridging cultural, political and generational gaps abound, which will certainly benefit real people as much as their fictional colleagues.

8.Possession by A.S. Byatt

Audiences craving a romantic read without all the fluff and puff will find this Man Booker winner a nicely stimulating read for more than one reason. Both a rumination on love and the nature of research, the masterful Possession juxtaposes the passionate affairs between two Victorian poets and the academics reading and writing about their letters. It's a beautiful, haunting and intelligent book even for those normally angrily foaming at the mouth over lovey-dovey narratives.

9.On Borrowed Wings by Chandra Prasad

Told from a student's perspective rather than a teacher's, Chandra Prasad's debut novel illustrates just how far some women would go just to seize educational opportunities. Taking place in the 1930s, a working-class Connecticut girl disguises herself as her own brother in order to attend Yale, where she struggles to maintain her façade while simultaneously promoting change. On Borrowed Wings not only makes valuable statements about equality across gender lines, but economic ones as well — particularly reflected in how protagonist Adele Pietra approaches a staggeringly classist research assignment.

10.The Big U by Neal Stephenson

The Big U definitely moves all right, but not exactly in a manner that would win a film adaptation any Oscar nods. Rather, this frenetic, kinetic satire joyfully rips apart anything and everything about higher education, culminating in a literally explosive civil war of a (lightly) sci-fi finale. It boasts a far sharper, harder edge than some of the quieter, more reflective reads listed here, but warrants consideration for its thought-provoking — if not outright relatable — commentary.

11.We Need to Talk about Kevin by Lionel Shriver

Following a brutal school massacre, the perpetrator's grief-addled, confused and deeply mourning mother turns towards letter writing for solace. Although fiction, it presents a very sensitive look into one way a murderous, sociopathic student might emerge — audiences are left to decide for themselves whether or not they consider such behaviors the result of nature, nurture or some blend. Anyone tasked with teaching or mentoring troubled teens might appreciate the insight, however intense the narrative gets.

12.Pym by Mat Johnson

Mat Johnson is one of America's sharpest, humorous and wholly underrated social commentators, and his third novel explores themes of race and higher education's uneasy relationship. When protagonist Chris Jaynes loses his shot at tenure because he won't exclusively teach African-American literature or serve on a diversity committee, he instead latches onto his The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket and Edgar Allen Poe obsessions. What follows is a whimsical, but thoroughly provocative, trip down to Antarctica in search of a legendary island without meddling white people.

13.Villette by Charlotte Bronte

Ostensibly about a young woman teaching at an all-girls school, readers find this novel more attractive for its uniquely Gothic take on psychology. Whether issuing an intentional challenge to patriarchal standards or not, central figure Lucy Snowe proffers some fascinating insight into life as a Victorian educator. Fictional yes, but nevertheless partly culled from both Charlotte and Emily Bronte's experiences trading teaching services for a boarding's schools rooms and resources.

14.Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin

As of April 2011, many claims presented in the nonfiction novel and memoir Three Cups of Tea have fallen under heavy, painstaking scrutiny. Since resolutions are still pending in August 2011, it's up to the reader to decide whether or not s/he wants to accept the stories or approach them with skepticism. The story revolves around Greg Mortenson's ill-fated K2 climb, kind welcome by Korphe, Pakistan chief elder and subsequent promise to build a school there — particularly focusing on educating the village's women.

15.Pnin by Vladimir Nabokov

Teachers who've struggled with language barriers, whether working overseas or overseeing an ESL classroom, might very well see a little bit of themselves in Timofey Pavlovich Pnin. He desires very much to fit in with the American school to which he is assigned, but frequent cultural and linguistic roadblocks render his work under-recognized and underappreciated — to the point he never earns tenure, even. Certainly sympathetic, both international educators and those working beside them might find Pnin an effective, enlightening novel.

16.A Lesson Before Dying by Ernest J. Gaines

Set during the interim between World War II and the Civil Rights era, this necessary novel showcases the unique struggle of educated African-Americans in the South. Here, a teacher feels himself suspended between his heritage (and community) and his few professional opportunities, which results more in apathy than any real drive. But an opportunity for (mutual!) personal enrichment and discovery emerges when he finds himself mentoring a young, wrongfully accused death row inmate.

17.Fathers and Daughters by Benjamin Markovits

At an exclusive New York prep school, four narratives parallel corresponding seasons and personally and thematically intertwine every so often. Typically navel-gazing, stressful and tragic, the book hinges more on exploring personalities rather than issuing any overarching statements about education. Despite this, though, many readers enjoy the watching interplay between students and authority figures — some of whom find the age difference a serious internal challenge — slowly unfold.

18.Ms. Hempel Chronicles by Sarah Shun-lien Bynum

Sarah Shun-lien Bynum earned a 2004 National Book Award nomination for her stirring story collection about a much-beloved middle school English teacher. The eponymous educator approaches her newly-established career with a relatable welding of excitement and trepidation. Over eight vignettes, she gains her students' trust and admiration, but — more importantly — starts building the confidence necessary to become the best teacher she possibly can someday.

19.Academy X by Andrew Trees

Academy X may be a satirical comedy, but it has plenty of intelligent (and frequently scary) insight into how caught up parents, students and administrators get in the Ivy League game. Taking place in the elitist of elite private high schools, honesty and integrity mean absolutely squat if it means little Dakota and Thurston end up at Yale or Harvard. Once a poor, hapless and thoroughly confused English teacher finds himself stuck in the flurry, a pathetic hilarity ensues.

20.Dancing in a Distant Place by Isla Dewar

Following the death of her husband and subsequent debt crunch, a Scottish schoolteacher and her two children move to a remote area and attempt rebuilding their lives. She takes up a head teacher position and finds herself embroiled in student drama as a coping mechanism against facing her own serious personal issues. And this extreme concern with other people's children cause both her son and daughter to find their own destructive outlets as well.

A reading list I wouldn't mind checking out!

2011-08-22T20:21:00.000-05:00

Good evening all!

So my friends at Bachelor's Degree Online came up with another interesting reading list. This time around, it's "20 Essential Chinese Novels."

I'm going to admit, I haven't read any of these, but I believe expanding my reading to include some of these intriguing titles might be a very good idea!

So take a look my friends and see if there's something there you might want to try!

Because of China's ancient history and massive geography conducive to hosting myriad cultures and subcultures, capturing its entire novelistic history in only 20 reads proves quite a daunting, admittedly impossible task. But the following sample — which should be digested as such rather than a definitive meal — covers a few different eras and philosophies that have irreversibly shaped the nation. Here in the States, students rarely get the chance to explore historical and cultural phenomena outside North America and Europe. Those piqued by the prospect of gathering new ideas and insights, regardless of whether or not they necessarily agree with or relate to them, might want to pick up a few of these novels. And then, of course, explore all the other facets of Chinese literature if they so desire.

1.Romance of the Three Kingdoms (14th Century) by Luo Guanzhong:

Myth and history collide in this riveting fictional account of the Han Dynasty and Three Kingdoms' inevitable waning. Literary types and history scholars consider Romance of the Three Kingdoms one of China's Four Great Classical Novels — an essential read that ensured previously oral-only traditions survived the centuries.

2.Water Margin (14th Century) by Shi Nai'an:

Another book lauded with the Four Great Classical Novels label, Shi Nai'an's Water Margin (which goes by several different names in English, including Outlaws of the Marsh) relays folktales of the outlaw Song Jiang. His band of 36 men — later swelling to 108 — thrives and falls as the Song Dynasty rages onward.

3.Fengshen Yanyi (16th Century) by Lu Xixing and Xu Zhonglin:

Fantasy and religion buffs will undoubtedly find plenty to love about the gods, goddesses, spirits and other mystical, mythical figures around which this narrative centers. As the Shang Dynasty ends and the Zhou Dynasty begins, traditional Taoist deities, immortals and heroes decide to intervene in mortal affairs, forever altering China's (and the world's) history.

4.Journey to the West (1590s) by Wu Cheng'en:

One of the most beloved epics of all time — and probably the only Four Great Classical Novels with significant international familiarity — follows Monkey King Sun Wukong's mounting experiences, education and power levels. But simultaneously swelling pride and recklessness eventually prove his undoing, as he brashly rises up against Taoist gods and goddesses.

5.Dream of the Red Chamber (18th Century) by Cao Xueqin:

The last of the Four Great Classical Novels, Cao Xueqin's Dream of the Red Chamber not only revolutionized Chinese vernacular literature, it even spawned its own scholarly field, known as "Redology!" Here, a pair of wealthy families watch their wealth, reputation, loves and lives ebb and flow based partly on the author's own experiences and observations.

6.The Scholars (1750) by Wu Jingzi:

Wu Jingzi took a naturalistic approach to satirizing Ming academics, infusing the story with Confucian themes and warnings against taking studies so seriously, everything else ends up precluded. The Scholars is also notable for its depiction of female characters as equally capable as their male counterparts and the rebuilding of a beloved family temple.

7.The Seven Heroes and Five Gallants (1870s?) by Shi Yukun:

Yu Yue helped kick-start the wuxia (martial arts) literary genre, choosing to adapt popular performer and storyteller Shi Yukun's riveting adventure tales. Justice Bao Zheng, a very popular Song Dynasty official, acts the hero and carries out his detective work in the most ass-kicking manner possible.

8.The Family (1933) by Ba Jin:

First of the Torrents Trilogy, The Family sheds some excellent light on the fengjian form of government, showcasing its impact on three very different brothers. The author never considered the originally-serialized novel as purely autobiographical, but did pull from his own feudal system experiences to write it.

9.Midnight (1933) by Mao Dun:

This novel is often touted as one of the most important of communist Chinese literature, offering up a very sensitive portrayal of impoverished workers in Shanghai. It also helped nurture the then-nascent revolutionary sentiment — hardly surprising, considering the author eventually worked for Mao Zedong as the Minister of Culture.

10.Rickshaw Boy (1937) by Lao She:

Follow the eponymous character as he embarks on a fascinating series of adventures (and misadventures) involving some very interesting individuals. He simultaneously wrestles with whether or not he wants to own his own rickshaw business or continue working for someone else.

11.Tracks in the Snowy Forest (1957) by Qu Bo:

Considered one of the quintessential Chinese novels of the post-revolution period, Tracks in the Snowy Forest takes readers on a perilous journey through the wintry wilderness. Soldiers intensely struggle against a deadly assignment taking them to the mountains in search of some very dangerous outlaws.

12.Song of Youth (1958) by Yang Mo:

Taking place between the September 18th Incident (1931) and December 19th Movement (1935), this bestseller explored the Communist Party of China's heavy impact on youth culture. Both triumphs and tragedies end up relayed here, inspired by Yang Mao's own coming of age during a particularly volatile historical period.

13.Lust, Caution (1979) by Eileen Chang:

Lust, Caution boasts a sexy, steamy tale of love and espionage during World War II — a perfect read for spy genre aficionados. A fetching young actress emerges from retirement to participate in a Japanese man's assassination, but doesn't anticipate actually falling for him.

14.Soul Mountain (1990) by Gao Xingjian:

Gao Xingjian's haunting experiment blending folktales, autobiography and various literary genres and devices helped earn him 2000's Nobel Prize for Literature — the first Chinese author to ever earn such a laudable distinction. Here, a man decides to hunt for Lingshan, a mountain existing only in fables, and tries to find some life answers along the way.

15.Big Breasts & Wide Hips (1996) by Mo Yan:

Big Breasts & Wide Hips boasts two different literary distinctions, the Kiriyama Prize and a Man Asian Literary Prize nominations. Its narrative takes seven decades to fully unfold, revolving around rural Chinese life during one of the nation's most pivotal, violent and internationally game-changing centuries.

16.A Dictionary of Maqiao (1996) by Han Shaogong:

This novel explores the titular Hunan village in a structurally fascinating way, containing 115 encyclopedia entries about different facets of its life and history. Penned by a fictional student conducting research for Down to the Countryside, all of the different entries end up working together as an entire unit as well as separately.

17.Private Life (1996) by Chen Ran:

Although none of Chen Ran's books have yet to be outright banned by the Chinese government, she certainly elicits quite the controversy amongst readers who consider her oeuvre far too personal and self-centered. Private Life probably stands as her most widely-debated, relaying a highly personal, frequently sexual bildungsroman about a college girl who loses her lover in the Tiananmen Square massacre.

18.K: The Art of Love (1999) by Hong Ying:

An international bestseller praised for its intense emotion and eroticism, Hong Ying's most celebrated book dreams up a scintillating affair between a British man and a Chinese woman. While Japan invades its massive neighbor, the two struggle against their feelings and prevailing social stigmas against interracial relationships.

19.Shanghai Baby (1999) by Zhou Weihui:

Shanghai Baby ended up banned in China for its extremely frank depictions of sexuality and drug use, though the author considered Americans and Europeans her target audience anyways. The novel's controversy also mirrors that of Private Life, inciting scandal because for its deeply intimate, personal nature — dismissed as arrogant and frivolous.

20.Dream of Ding Village (2006) by Yan Lianke:

Another book banned by the Chinese government, this time for its fictionalized exposure of the nauseating, inhumane treatment of AIDS. In the eponymous town, citizens who once sold their blood fall one by one from the devastating disease — one that officials decide to cover up rather than address.

Interviews and a free read!

2011-08-19T22:00:00.000-05:00

Hey all!

I did an interview today with my friends over at SOS Aloha!

Check it out! Leave a comment and maybe, just maybe you will win a free e-copy of Lies in Chance!

In case you missed it...

2011-08-17T18:36:00.000-05:00

I have NOT ONE, but TWO books out there for sale right now!

"DREAM IN COLOR" (Print or e-book)

Amazon

Barnes and Noble (Nook)

The Wild Rose Press

"LIES IN CHANCE" (e-book only at this time)

Amazon

Barnes and Noble (Nook)

Smashwords (For reading on Sony readers or on computer)

Now...buy my books...and then go forth and write!

Watching TV can be research. Really!

2011-08-13T12:50:00.000-05:00

Good afternoon!

I know I don't have to tell you fellow writers out there that sometimes the sheer act of sitting down and writing is hard to to. Sometimes just sitting down is hard to do. Real life doesn't always accomadate the writer's whims, does it?

So often I find myself telling people, "I just don't have time to write."

That's not completely true.

There are times in the day when I can, and I do write. The hour before work starts when I'm sitting in my office because hubby and I car pool and I get there early. I often crank out a couple hundred words in that hour. My lunch hour is another time of the day when I either write more into my notebook or I'm reading, which is also a vital skill writers must have.

While nothing replaces the actual act of sitting down and putting words to paper...or flash drive...I have found something that, while it seems pointless and time wasting, is actually a solid basis of research for writers.

Watching TV can be a very helpful tool in avoiding cliched writing, and an even better tool in spotting good writing.

Case in point: Recently I've started rewatching the early 90's sitcom "Wings." for those of you not familiar, this was a show about two brothers who ran a tiny airplane business out of a tiny airport in Nantucket. Surrounded by a goofy cast of characters, brothers Brian and Joe Hackett managed to just avoid bankruptcy and killing each other each week. Back in the day, I really liked the show. So, when I found it available on streaming through Netflix, I started watching.

The thing about watching reruns in the streaming mode is that there's really no break and one runs the risk of losing whole days to a "marathon." Not that I've done that....no of course not!

The first couple episodes, my daughter sat with me and watched. I asked her what she thought of the show. She said, "I'm wondering why it sucks so much." A few more episodes in, she was hooked.

That might seem like a waste of time, watching this TV show that was on the air 20 years ago. But it's not. Getting lost in a marathon of episodes, I can watch episode to episode how the characters grew, what made them better, what made the show better. I can pinpoint the good writing, and note the cheesy cliches, and if those cliches worked or not. And, as I draw closer to the final episodes, I can see what, if any, mistakes were made that crushed the series and sent it to its demise. (Some TV series, it's obvious. "Moonlighting" was horrible the minute Maddie and Dave slept together. The infamous "jump the shark" concept of TV shows going into that murky water of cheesy writing was spawned by the "Happy Days" episode where Fonzie and the whole gang went on vacation and Fonzie had to "jump the shark" on his motorcycle.)

Now, I'm not saying we should all go and spend endless hours on the couch watching a rerun marathon of our favorite shows. It might sound like I'm saying that, but I'm not. What I'm saying is that if you find yourself spending quality time away from the computer, and sitting in front of the TV, use that time to study your craft. TV, especially sitcom TV, is writing. Not the sets, which generally don't change in a sitcom. Probably not the acting, though some people are funnier and better at sitcom acting than others. Many sitcom actors, however, do well in one part written for them, and then cannot move to another part. As much as I love Matthew Perry...and I do love him....his Chandler Bing years will never be matched. How many shows has he been given that have flopped since "Friends" ended? No, TV is generally about the writing.

So it's okay if you take some time to watch TV. But it's like with anything, don't say you're working on your writing career if all you're doing is snoozing in front of the tube. Stay awake and take notes. Not the hardest homework you've ever been given.

Now, go forth and WRITE!

Your world may take your writing places you didn't know existed.

2011-08-10T18:11:00.000-05:00

Hello all!

Well, I've got nearly a month in at my new job and I have to say I do enjoy the work I'm doing. I don't love the fact that I can't just whip out my blog and write when the mood moves me, but it's a decent paycheck, great benefits, and a wealth of writing inspiration.

I knew I could write comedy, but I would go long gaps without thinking of anything funny. So I thought my calling as a writer was to look at the darker side of human nature. Hence, a lot of what you find in my latest, Lies in Chance is quite a bit darker than in Dream in Color. However, this job has opened up a wide, and wildly unlimited, source of humor for me to stock pile as topics for a writing project.

Sure, workplace humor is a great writing topic. But I never thought of myself as a workplace humor writer. Mom humor, you bet. Kid humor, humor about my parents, sure. But workplace humor, the kind that makes me howl when I watch "The Office" or shows like that, I never thought of as being something I could write.

I'm finding that out now, though. I've been having fun over at my other blog It Can Only Happen to Sarah writing about the wacky world I work in, perfecting my anecdotes so that they fit nicely into a creative non fiction humor book.

What I'm trying to tell you all is that your every day world might be the stuff someone else's escape is made of. Does that make sense? What you might think of as the boring details of your every day life, that might be just the thing a reader needs to leave his or her reality and fall into something else. And isn't that why we read books and watch TV and movies? To escape our own lives? I love gritty court room dramas. No, they aren't fluffy or funny, but it's an escape for me from my own little life into something I'll never experience first hand.

I know, I know...I always say, "You don't have to write what you know." But there is a certain skill that a writer has to bring his or her own world to life. Would the pioneer world of the late 1800's be as vivid to us today if Laura Ingalls hadn't put pencil to pad? Would there even be a market for humor books based on real life if Erma Bombeck hadn't spent pages and pages discussing how reading an interview with Sophia Loren made her fat?

So today my friends, I think you should take a look around and see where your real life takes your writing life.

It might surprise you.

Now go forth and WRITE!

Who's your muse?

2011-08-04T13:19:00.000-05:00

Good afternoon my friends!

So Emma and the gang at Accredited Online Colleges once again shared with me a fairly brilliant blog about muses. You can read the whole thing here or you can scroll down.

The 10 Most Famous Muses of All Time

The Greeks attributed their creative and intellectual pursuits (largely the liberal arts) to the influence of nine goddesses. All daughters of Zeus, they bestowed gifts of inspiration and innovation to mortals they deemed worthy. Over millennia, the concept of muse remained largely intact, but swelled to encompass something far more ephemeral than divine. Whether they pique songs, poems, art, films, a combination of many or another product entirely, muses will continue to exist so long as humanity turns towards itself for ideas and insight. Far, far more than these 10 have given, are giving and will give someone else the tools needed to forge self-expression. Unfortunately, not all of them attain quite the same level of acclaim — or, as the case may be, notoriety.

Alice Liddell

Charles Dodgson, better known as Lewis Carroll, more than likely penned his classic fantasy Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland after befriending the Liddell kids. Speculation about the true nature of Alice’s relationship with Carroll abounds — no evidence pointing towards anything sexual or romantic exists, but that doesn’t stop historians and literature buffs from raising such questions. The celebrated author and his muse’s family parted ways thanks to an ill-advised courtship with the governess (or eldest daughter!), but not after he penned some of the most beloved children’s stories of all time. In addition, he also used the little girl as a model for photography forays. Alice’s legacy has gone on to spawn a plethora of parodies, movies, video games, art and plenty of other adaptations, although the famous character and the very real child do not overlap completely.

Gala Dali

Born Elena Ivanovna Diakonova, the strikingly beautiful Gala Dali is best known as surrealist superstar Salvador Dali’s wife and model. She famously left her husband, painter Paul Eluard, for the youthful Spaniard and remained a major player in his life until her 1982 death. Many times, he credited her with saving his life, as he oftentimes feared dying young and succumbing to overwhelming insanity. Gala served as Dali’s model for most of his career; although she also took on both muse and benefactor roles for plenty of other creative types as well — usually painters and musicians, including Jeff Fenholt. Because the artist himself allegedly encouraged his wife’s extramarital activities for fetish reasons, he certainly didn’t mind sharing her passion and beauty! Even individuals without any real interest in surrealism or even art have still probably caught a glimpse of Gala somewhere.

The Dark Lady

Whether or not William Shakespeare based his mysterious, lusty character on an actual woman or created a pastiche continuously sparks debate amongst the literati. Some think she might be Emilia Lanier. Others say Mary Fitton. And a few even think it could very well be both or neither. About the only thing anyone knows for certain is that she possessed seductively dark hair and eyes. The Bard dedicated sonnets 127 through 152 to this closely-guarded figure, oftentimes juxtaposing her with a comparatively more innocent Fair Youth. What makes this cycle so notable is how overtly sexual they read, particularly when compared to the more romantic and spiritually-minded poems preceding and succeeding them.

Yoko Ono

This widely-recognized activist and avant-garde artist and musician probably elicits as much controversy as she does inspiration. Most notably, Yoko Ono acted as John Lennon’s personal muse after he attended one of her exhibitions. She handed him a card simply reading, "Breathe," and the Beatle immediately felt compelled to abandon his wife and young son. Many of the band’s later songs either outright reference ("The Ballad of John and Yoko") or allude to ("Julia") Ono, and the pair released their own albums while Lennon continued rocking with the Fab Four. Beyond that, she encouraged him to take up human rights and peace causes — though how exactly staying in bed for an entire week was expected to end the Vietnam War is quite the mystery. Whether or not Ono directly contributed to the Beatles breaking up remains firmly in the realm of "he said-she said" bickering, anecdotes and individual opinions. Regardless of one’s views, though, she certainly fits the description of a creative muse.

Edie Sedgwick

Dubbed an "It Girl," "Youthquaker" and 1965′s "Girl of the Year," Edie Sedgwick’s bubbly social butterfly persona landed her straight in the presence of such luminaries as Andy Warhol, Patti Smith, Bob Dylan, The Velvet Underground and more. Tragically plagued with an eating disorder and addiction issues, she launched her muse career at The Factory, where she modeled and acted for the artists and filmmakers involved — and Warhol in particular. At least two Dylan songs off the legendary Blonde on Blonde ("Leopard-Skin Pillbox Hat" and "Just Like a Woman") came about because of their baffling relationship, and The Velvet Underground composed "Femme Fatale" in her honor. Patti Smith wrote a poem about Sedgwick, even naming it after her. And it just stretches on from there. While more notable for her influence on Warhol and Dylan, this fascinating figure left quite an impression on almost an entire generation of creative movers and shakers.

Frida Kahlo

"I paint myself because I am so often alone and because I am the subject I know best," one of Mexico’s most beloved artists once quipped. Although her tumultuous, frequently adulterous marriage to fellow painter Diego Rivera frequently sent him scrambling towards the canvas as well, Frida Kahlo most notably acted as her own muse. She despised the "surrealist" label, but her deeply personal work certainly reflected many of its and magic realism’s tenets. Focusing mainly on self-portraiture, Kahlo channeled her most intimate pain and pride into her vivid, visceral paintings. Other artists obviously threw plenty of themselves into their own work, but not nearly at the same level as this incredible, veritably immortal woman.

Beatrice Portinari

Italian epic poet Dante Alighieri figuratively walked through Hell, Purgatory and Heaven for his beloved. The Divine Comedy features Beatrice Portinari as the author’s guide through the last book of Purgatorio and the entirety of Paridisio, replacing the pagan Virgil. The real Portinari’s life was far less charmed than her literary counterpart’s, however. Born into a Florentine banker family, she only met Dante twice, though he pined for almost an entire decade between encounters. Portinari died at age 24, only a few years after marrying Simone dei Bardi, but continued charming the poet throughout his existence. And it wasn’t just The Divine Comedy upholding her memory, either. The collection La Vita Nuova bursts completely under Dante’s love — even after he himself had married and sired children.

Pattie Boyd

While not a household name in the vein of Yoko Ono, Pattie Boyd definitely played a significant role in shaping music history. One of the most infamous love triangles of all time centered right on her, after all. She married Beatle George Harrison in 1966 and Eric Clapton in 1979, inspiring the both of them to pen some of their most famous tracks. Allegedly, Clapton’s "Layla," "Wonderful Tonight" and "Bell Bottom Blues" as well as Harrison’s "Isn’t It a Pity," "Something," "For You Blue" and "I Need You" all contain some very personal allusions to the model and photographer. Even outside the romantic craziness realm, Boyd created something of a fashionable splash. No less than Twiggy herself cited her as a major influence!

John Nettleship

Given the muses’ Greek roots, it makes perfect sense that most would tend to associate the concept with women. But one of the most iconic fictional characters of the past decade either would have never existed (or at least existed in an entirely different state) without one chemistry teacher’s harshness. Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling based Hogwarts potions master Severus Snape on her grim instructor John Nettleship at Chepstow Comprehensive School. His wife eventually brought the apparently obvious similarities to his attention, cycling through shock and concern before eventually (if a bit grudgingly) accepting the immortalization. Most people can’t brag that Alan Rickman sort-of played them in one of the most popular, beloved book AND film franchises of all time, after all.

Someone so vain, he probably thinks this song is about him

David Geffen, James Taylor, Warren Beatty, David Bowie, Kris Kristofferson, Cat Stevens, David Cassidy, Mick Jagger and a plethora of other men have all been speculated as the true identity of chanteuse Carly Simon’s most famous tune. Only the singer herself and NBC Sports president Dick Ebersol — who won the privilege (and a private performance) in a charity auction — know, and they prefer staying coy. Simon frequently claims the song’s central character is really a composite of three different people, though Ebersol states the individual in question has an E, A and R in his name. Honestly, the fact that people still clamor to know despite the 1972 release date means the muse should remain obscured. Telling everyone now would just stop the publicity train from a-chuggin’.

So now my friends, who is your muse? You all know very well who mine was for Dream in Color and while my muse for Lies in Chance might not be as obvious, I still have a very, very clear picture that kept me going when writer's block threatened. So...who is your muse?

Figure that out and then go forth and write!

Are there some books that should not be made into movies?

2011-08-01T06:17:00.000-05:00

Good morning all!

I don't know about you, but I am eagerly awaiting the new movie based on the magical book, "The Help." I was so completely drawn in last fall when I read this book, I can only hope the movie matches my mental images.

It probably won't.

The idea of whether the book or the movie is better is not a new one. The book is almost always better. Maybe that's because we all can envision things better than a Hollywood writer. That's sort of sad, considering how much talent there is in Hollywood...ummmmm...yeah.

There are some books that are clearly meant to be made into movies. The visual images are simply too rich to get wrong. Sometimes these are books that make better movies than they do books. (Moby Dick, anyone?)

My mother always used to say that in books you can go only as far as your imagination takes you, but in movies you see everything. It was her argument for letting me read well above my age group. (Which is why I was reading "Jane Eyre" at 11 and really not getting why no one wanted to hang out with the lady on the third floor.) I maintain that the opposite is true in many cases. Your imagination can create a whole world based on the written word. If the author is very good, he/she will convey the pictures he/she intends with words, and you will wind up "seeing" what the author had in mind. I think movies might limit that because movies present one vision of a story.

That being the case, I ask, are there books that should never be made into movies?

I've got one, Laura Ingalls Wilder's writings about her childhood.

Wait a minute, I can hear you yelling, those books were made into a beloved TV show that ran for YEARS!

Yes, yes they were. But, if you watch, except for most of the characters names, that TV show had very little to do with what Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote and more to do with 70's sensibilities poured into a TV show set in the late 1800's. Don't get me wrong...I LOVED both the books and the show. But the two had very little to do with each other. (For example, the books are really clear that Ma and Pa had plenty to do to keep body and soul together with the four girls they had. The TV show gives us a Ma and Pa Ingalls who pretty much adopt half the orphans in Minnesota. While the added characters may have been needed to keep the writing fresh, they had nothing to do with books.)

I think Ms. Wilder's writing is such that a child can read and enjoy it and get a very clear picture of the life of a pioneer family. I also think that since there aren't any major explosions, political upheaval, or espionage, the books would not translate well into movie form. And that's not a bad thing. That just means that her writing created such a wonderful world for readers, that no movie is ever going to do it justice.

On the flip side of the coin: You all know that I believe "Moby Dick" should never have been a book. A good movie, yes. A book...not in it's present form. Had Moby Dick been published today, it would be about 150 pages long, and would probably involve robots.

So now I'm waiting to see what Hollywood does to "The Help." I'm not sure how ready I am to be disappointed.

Poe and Melville didn't have this problem...or did they?

2011-07-27T05:57:00.017-05:00

Hello my friends!

Some weeks ago I talked about going back to my roots of writing, and putting words to actual paper because I had fewer freedoms on my computer at work with my new job.

I'm finding odd times to put ideas and chapters down on paper...that's not the problem. In fact, I might just be writing more than I have most of this year.

The problem is...now that it's on notebook paper, when do I have time to actually get my brilliant words to a form that oh, maybe an agent or an editor might look at?

See, my handwriting is barely legible...so while focusing my creative time with a notebook is a good thing, the business end of writing rears its ugly head once again and once again I'm faced with age old question: WHEN CAN I WRITE?

Spellcheck? I have no need of spell check! Opium, alcohol, and some good lovin' from my 13 year old cousin/wife are all I need to be brilliant.

The writers of yore (It's a word...I think) didn't have this problem. Authors back in the early days could turn in hand written copy and it would be just fine thank you. Of course, writers of yore also had opium and alcohol addictions, lousy health care, poverty...

...wait...change opium to chocolate and you've just described most of the writers I know now! Maybe that's why so many great authors died penniless, even though their works are considered landmarks of literature now. Maybe spellcheck and a perfectly clean copy was all they needed to be appreciated in their own time.

Maybe if Herman had studied editing and worked on focus of thought, "Moby Dick" wouldn't be a brilliant, timeless tale wrapped in about 700 pages of cumbersome snooze.

In our day and age, dependence on technology in all aspects of the writing process is pretty much the status quo. So it's a matter of that delicate juggling act...again...that most of us have to do to get our masterpieces to a form that the world can read.

Or, we can bring back penmanship classes...

I'm doomed.

Now, while I waddle in my self loathing for my lack of penmanship skills, the rest of you GO FORTH AND WRITE!

Sneak peak Sunday: Lies in Chance chapter 2

2011-07-24T19:47:00.000-05:00

Hello all! I thought I'd give you all another little taste of my newest novel Lies in Chance which is available for sale where you buy all your fine e-books. This is the second chapter, so go ahead and enjoy!

BRYAN

Bryan Jacobs looked forward to mornings with a relish that made his students nervous. The thirty-two-year-old fifth grade teacher loved the early morning quiet in the halls of Rock Harbor Community School, the stillness of the teachers' lounge. He could not bring himself to tell anyone, not even his best friends, not Drew, not Joanna, and certainly not Molly, why. Not even they could understand how mornings reminded him of Jenny more than any other time of the day.

Bryan settled into his favorite leather armchair, and reached for the remote control. A news junkie who watched CNN religiously, once a week, Bryan ignored the national news and focused on the local news for his Current Events class. Local news for Rock Harbor students meant Green Bay news, focusing on the Packers, or the grittier big city reports from Milwaukee. While Milwaukee was four hour and a cultural lifetime away from the rural confines of Rock Harbor, Bryan found that the students in his class felt in touch with any news that originated within the boundaries of their home state.

"Mornin'.”

Bryan did not need to look up. The only other person awake and not milking cows at this hour was the principal of RHCS, Drew Shepaski, a quiet man who spent most of his life in the shadow of his perpetually verbal, and currently pregnant wife, Joanna. "How's Jo?" Bryan turned down the volume on the TV.

Drew switched on the coffee maker. "She sees a doctor today. A Green Bay channel? Did the cable go out again?" Drew tapped his coffee mug on the counter; a nervous habit picked up from every other teacher in the building who survived long night meetings by drinking a gallon of the bitter brew spewed out in the teacher’s lounge.

"Current events class."

"Oh. So what’s the big story?"

Bryan shrugged. "Nothing earth shattering. We have Packer news, of course. Sunday’s win makes the whole season seem rosy again, what’s new? I was actually about the change it to a Milwaukee station. You want four or twelve?"

"Doesn’t four have that blonde traffic woman?"

Bryan grinned. “Yes.”

Drew filled his coffee mug and stared at the dark brew. “Better go with twelve, then. Jo’s got enough paranoia about how she looks right now. Word gets out I’m watching the blonde traffic woman on four, I won’t be allowed in the house.”

"Twelve it is." Bryan grinned as he changed the channel. “Here we go.”

“Breaking news from the northern suburbs this morning. Prominent local businesswoman, Lydia Brandt, was found shot to death in the Shorewood Lexus dealership she owned early this morning. The cleaning crew found her body at about two...”

"It's always those poor cleaning people who walk in on stuff like that, isn't it?" Drew commented over the female newscaster’s voice as he sat at the table.

“Seems that way, doesn’t it.”

“Police confirm that Mrs. Brandt was killed by a gunshot wound to the face.”

“Oh that’s messy.” Bryan jotted a note on his note pad and looked back up at the screen.

“Also seriously wounded was Mrs. Brandt’s sales manager, forty year old Richard Bennett. Mr. Bennett spoke to our reporter, Blair Dailey, from his hospital bed at Froedert Medical Center this morning.”

“Ya know, I’ll probably get in a ton of trouble for saying this, but there are days I almost wish Rock Harbor had some kind of interesting news going on, just so Blair Dailey could come up here and interview the locals.” Drew stirred three sugar cubes into his coffee, his gaze never leaving the TV screen.

"You’re worried Jo will find out you’re watching the traffic girl on four and you’re sitting here wishing from some kind of drama in this town just so you can meet—ho-ly hell!” Bryan leaped from his seat and turned up the volume to maximum.

“What?" Drew stared at the man’s face on the screen. “You know that guy?”

“That’s the guy...the guy from the loft.” Bryan nearly gagged on the words.

"That’s Jenny’s guy?” Drew threw a glance at Bryan. “Sorry. I mean, that’s the guy...from the loft? Someone shot him?”

"I’ll bet it was some poor slob who just happened to have an attractive wife.” Bryan backed up from the television and stared at the face. He tried to ignore the twisted sense of satisfaction that washed over him as he studied the man who stole Jenny from him three years ago. Sucks to be you…

“Yes, Blair, I am blessed to be alive. Losing Lydia like that...” Richard Bennett stared right into the camera lens, a tear glistening in the corners of his blue eyes.

“Were you able to get a look at the assailant?” Blair Dailey, roving reporter, stuck the microphone back to him.

“No. It all happened so fast. And now...Shara is missing. And if anyone has Shara, please bring her back...to the people that love her.”

“Oh shut up you...you lying...sack of...bastard.” Bryan’s voice was a deep, heavy growl as he glared at the face on the screen. So smooth, even from a hospital bed. Ass.

Blair Dailey, obviously now outside the hospital, continued her report. “Mr. Bennett refers to Miss Shara Brandt, Lydia Brandt’s twenty-three- year old grand-daughter, who is also Mr. Bennett’s fiancé. Miss Brandt is wanted for questioning in the murder of Lydia Brandt, but she is currently missing. Police are asking for your help in locating this woman.” Here a picture, what looked to be a high school senior portrait, of a thin, pale girl flashed on the screen. The face didn’t register with Bryan, who was still stuck on the fact that Richard was engaged…and not to Jenny. “Son of a bitch.”

“Hey, Bryan? Take a deep breath and remember we’re at school.” Drew said in a low voice as he looked over his shoulder at the door. “We don’t need the rest of the staff thinking you’ve had a relapse, right?”

“Yeah, okay.” Bryan turned off the television. “Pity they didn’t get him in the face…One less wife stealing bastard on the planet wouldn’t be a bad thing.” His steps to the coffee maker were measured, almost painful. He noted the worried expression on Drew’s face. “Sorry. I wasn’t planning on airing out old wounds this morning.” He gave Drew what he hoped was a reassuring grin.

“I’m thinking maybe you should stick with the Packer news.”

“You’re no fun.” But you’re probably right.

“I know. The fine families of Rock Harbor Community School appreciate that fact,” Drew replied with a grin. “Not to mention the even finer folks of Rock Harbor Community Church, you know the group that pretty much signs your checks?”

"Daddy! Come quick!" Six-year-old Nathan Shepaski burst into the lounge. The sand haired boy was a younger, louder version of his father.

Drew, unflappable, reminded his son of the rules. "Nate, you’re not supposed to come in here. And what do you call me when we are at school?"

Nate swallowed hard, trying to catch his breath. "When we’re at school, I'm supposed to call you Mr. Shepaski. But Daddy-"

"Nate."

"Mr. Shepaski, Mrs. Hunter says to come quick. There‘s a girl, just walked out of the creek like a ghost or somthin‘."

Both men followed the boy out the door without another word.

Calling all American History Buffs! (And once again dreaming of #51)

2011-07-21T19:29:00.000-05:00

Hello all!

So it's bloomin' hot here in the Upper Midwest...the kind of heat that makes me very thankful to whomever it what who invented central air conditioning. Which made me think about history in general...and I do enjoy American History. (My favorite period is the Civil War...but that's just me. I blame Clark Gable.)

Anyway, as if reading my mind, my friends over at Bachelor's Degree Online sent me one of their latest lists of books to read. Great minds think alike, I guess, because this one is all about American history...so enjoy. (For those of you who read this on my other blog, "It Can Only Happen to Sarah" Sorry, this one got misfiled yesterday!)

50 Best Books for American History Buffs

While a young country in comparison to many others around the globe, the United States nonetheless has a rich and engaging history. From the early days of settlement on the East Coast, to the wild days of outlaws and Indian wars in the West, from shore to shore, there is plenty to learn about when it comes to studying how our country came to be the nation that it is today.

Best of all, you don't have to major in history to do it. All you need is a passion for history and a few good books. Here we've compiled a list of just a few of these wonderful books on America's past that offer an education on the complexities of the history of our country you likely didn't even touch upon in your previous history courses.

Historical Figures

Check out these books for the lives of some of the most important and distinguished figures in American history.

1.John Adams by David G. McCullough:

In this amazing book, readers will find themselves drawn into the life of founding father John Adams, filled with political battles, controversy, and even some pirates.

2.Grant by Jean Edward Smith:

A recent and heavily-researched take on the life of this American president and military leader, Grant takes readers on a journey through his life, beginning with his first forays into a military action and ending with his oft-critiqued term as president.

3.Theodore Rex by Edmund Morris:

One of the most beloved but controversial figures in American history, Teddy Roosevelt is truly larger than life, a man readers will be able to see brought to life in this engaging read.

4.American Caesar: Douglas MacArthur 1880-1964 by William Raymond Manchester:

In this book, you'll get to look at the army career of this legendary general, who helped shape some of America's biggest conflicts.

5.Master of the Senate: The Years of Lyndon Johnson by Robert A. Caro:

Going from 1950-1960, this book by Robert Caro examines in great detail Lyndon Johnson's stint in the Senate.

1600-1815: The Founding of a Nation

Use these books to better understand how our country came to be, from the earliest settlers at Jamestown to the great expansion allowed by the Louisiana Purchase.

6.Making Haste from Babylon: The Mayflower Pilgrims and Their World: A New History by Nick Bunker:

One of the most comprehensive books on the first Pilgrim settlements, this book is a must-read for any early American history scholar.

7.Love and Hate in Jamestown: John Smith, Pocahontas, and the Start of a New Nation by David A. Price:

With so much myth surrounding these figures and this setting, it can be hard to get to the truth of what really happened. This book will help you to do just that, covering the people and events central to the founding of this tumultuous settlement.

8.American Colonies: The Settling of North America by Alan Taylor:

Pulitzer Prize-winning author Taylor takes readers on a jaunt through the early days of the American colonies, covering battles over ownership of the land, cultural clashes with natives, and much more.

9.1776 by David McCullough:

Written by acclaimed historian David McCullough, this book is an excellent look into the battles, politics, and people that were central to the Revolutionary War.

Sarah here: All that and plus it's a pretty good read!

10.Founding Brothers: The Revolutionary Generation by Joseph J. Ellis:

This fascinating book will take you into aspects of the Revolutionary War and the relationships between the Founding Fathers (or brothers, as the book calls them) you probably didn't know about, making the conflict seem much more nuanced and the times much more interesting that your run-of-the-mill history book would imply.

11.The Radicalism of the American Revolution by Gordon S. Wood:

We don't tend to think of our Founding Fathers as being radicals, but in their time their ideas weren't exactly the mainstream. Read this book to learn how these ideas and the people behind them would go on to shape the foundations of our nation.

12.The War That Made America: A Short History of the French and Indian War by Fred Anderson:

How much do you really know about the French and Indian War? If you'd like to expand your knowledge, this slimmed-down version of Anderson's Crucible of War is a great place to start.

13.A Wilderness So Immense: The Louisiana Purchase and the Destiny of America by Jon Kukla:

Perhaps one of the best deals ever made by a budding nation, the Louisiana Purchase would forever change the face of our nation. Read more about the negotiations behind the deal and the politics that almost made it go bust in this compelling book.

14.The Journals of Lewis and Clark (Lewis & Clark Expedition) by Meriwether Lewis, William Clark and Frank Bergon:

Here, you can read Lewis and Clark's firsthand reactions as they trek through the great wilderness of the American West.

While I have not read this book, I honeymooned in Astoria, Oregon, a place rich with Lewis and Clark history. Those guys were truly American heroes!

This one is on my reading list now!

15.The Civil War of 1812: American Citizens, British Subjects, Irish Rebels, & Indian Allies by Alan Taylor:

The War of 1812 may not be exactly as your history books told you it was, as the title of this book might imply. It wasn't purely a battle for independence, but a civil war as well, a fact you'll learn about in great detail in this book.

1816-1900: Westward Expansion and the Civil War

Read about the horrors of the Civil War that turned brother against brother and the ensuing years of westward expansion that began shaping the nation as we know it today.

16.Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln by Doris Kearns Goodwin:

What kind of man appoints his former political rivals to his cabinet? Apparently a smart one, as Goodwin showcases in highly engaging prose in this acclaimed book.

17.The Spanish War: An American Epic 1898 by G. J. A. O'Toole:

Prompted by the explosion of the Maine, the Spanish American War was to shape the face of American politics for years to come, and readers will find an excellent description of the events leading up to, during, and after the conflict here.

18.The Civil War: A Narrative by Shelby Foote:

Arguably one of the most comprehensive studies on the Civil War, this three-volume series is a must-read for any Civil War history buff who wants to learn more about it.

Hey all, Sarah here...Shelby Foote is probably the biggest expert on the Civil War. Personally, I recommend reading anything he writes on the subject. I have this in my personal library and it is riveting. Anyone wanting to learn about the American Civil War...must read Foote.

19.Blood and Thunder: An Epic Story of Kit Carson and the Conquest of the American West by Hampton Sides:

Filled with descriptions of the destruction of the Navajo nation, this book paints a brutal picture of the American West.

20.What Hath God Wrought: The Transformation of America, 1815-1848 by Daniel Walker Howe:

Impeccably researched and written, this study of the industrialization and expansion of the United States helps bring many aspects of the period to light in a way accessible to even the most casual of readers.

21.So Far from God: The U.S. War With Mexico, 1846-1848 by John S. D. Eisenhower:

This book takes a close look at the major figures in the Mexican-American War (most notably Winfield Scott) and offers insights into a conflict often dismissed as a simple lead-up to the larger conflict of the American Civil War.

22.Trail of Tears: The Rise and Fall of the Cherokee Nation by John Ehle:

Natives to the United States underwent a great deal of persecution at the hands of the U.S. government (and some might argue that they still don't always get a fair shake). This book traces the history of one American Indian tribe and their eventual brutal expulsion from their native lands.

23.Crazy Horse and Custer: The Parallel Lives of Two American Warriors by Stephen Ambrose:

See the conflict between the U.S. Army and the Indians from both sides through the lives of these engaging figures.

Steven Ambrose is a treasure when it comes to his studies on history.

24.Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee: An Indian History of the American West by Dee Brown:

For much of the history of America, native people were portrayed as heartless savages attacking settlers, but this book will show you that is was not the case. In fact, the opposite was true.

Sarah again: Brilliant...from start to finish. The book, not me...okay, me.

25.Landscape Turned Red by Stephen Sears:

Rather than trying to tackle the whole Civil War in one go, this book focuses on the Battle of Antietam, showcasing the politics that both preceded and followed it as well.

You just can't unsee some of the images painted in this book. That's a good thing.

26.Battle Cry of Freedom by James McPherson:

Originally published in 1988, this book is a classic look at the Civil War and is a great overview for those looking to learn about the conflict and the complex economic, political, and social issues that caused it.

A good starter volume for those about to delve into Civil War studies.

WWI, WWII, and the Great Depression

Covering the battles of the major world wars and the hard years that many Americans faced during the Great Depression, these reads may often be saddening, but are always nonetheless fascinating.

27.Band of Brothers: E Company, 506th Regiment, 101st Airborne from Normandy to Hitler's Eagle's Nest by Stephen Ambrose:

Ambrose's book formed the basis for the acclaimed HBO series Band of Brothers, and documents the story of one group of men who fought through some of the most iconic battles of WWII.

Can I just say it? Stephen Ambrose rocks!

28.The Worst Hard Time: The Untold Story of Those Who Survived the Great American Dust Bowl by Timothy Egan:

Covering five states, the worst dust storm of all time destroyed farms and hurt those already struggling to make ends meet. This book tells the story of those who lived and survived the ecological (and economic) disaster.

29.No Ordinary Time: Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt: The Home Front in World War II by Doris Kearns Goodwin:

If you'd like to learn a bit more about the FDR presidency and its role in WWII, this book is the perfect vehicle to do so.

30.Hiroshima by John Hersey:

With stories compiled shortly after the devastation caused by the bombing at Hiroshima, this book, first published in 1946, creates a vivid picture of the utter horror the atomic bombs unleashed on the population of this city.

31.Iwo Jima: Portrait of a Battle: United States Marines at War in the Pacific by Eric Hammel:

One of the most famous and most difficult battles of the Pacific theater during WWII, Iwo Jima is an iconic turning point in WWII. In this book, readers will see numerous photographs and maps while reading Hammel's engaging accounts of the men involved in the battle.

32.Day of Infamy: The Classic Account of the Bombing of Pearl Harbor by Walter Lord:

Who better to tell about the attack on Pearl Harbor than those who were there to witness it firsthand? In this book, you'll get just that, with numerous interviews with survivors on both sides of the battle.

33.A World Undone: The Story of the Great War, 1914 to 1918 by G. J. Meyer:

At the time, few could have imagined a war on such a massive scale, but WWI would show the world that with the advent of new technologies comes new, more global conflicts. In Meyer's book, readers will learn about the history of the war and the many tragedies that occurred during and after battle.

34.The Guns of August by Barbara W. Tuchman and Robert K. Massie:

Learn just how WWI began and what could have been done to prevent it in this impeccably researched novel by acclaimed historian Tuchman.

35.Looking Like the Enemy: My Story of Imprisonment in Japanese American Internment Camps by Mary Matsuda Gruenewald:

In one of the most shameful episodes in American history, thousands of Japanese Americans were put into concentration camps during WWII. This book shares the story of one of those citizens, a young girl who struggled to survive with her family though those trying years.

36.The New Deal: The Depression Years, 1933-1940 by Anthony J. Badger:

This book aims to take a more balanced look at the New Deal and how it helped America recover from one of the worst depressions in history.

37.The Great Depression: America in the 1930s by T. H. Watkins:

Filled with photographs and historical data, this book offers amazing insight into what life was like for the average American in the 1930s.

1900-Present

A lot can happen in a little over a century. These books trace the history of the U.S. from women gaining the right to vote, through the tumultuous 60s and 70s, all the way up to the modern day.

38.With Courage and Cloth: Winning the Fight for a Woman's Right to Vote by Ann Bausum:

It has been less than a century since women were granted the right to vote, a hard-fought and not easily won battle that is chronicled with great detail in this book.

39.The Fifties by by David Halberstam:

While it is oft-remembered as a time of peace and prosperity, Halberstam gives a picture of the fifties as a time when social and political issues boiled just below the surface, touching on major topics in the history of the decade, from the Cold War to the availability of TV.

40.Thirteen Days: A Memoir of the Cuban Missile Crisis by Robert F. Kennedy and Arthur Schlesinger Jr.:

You'll get a firsthand account of the tense days of 1962, when the U.S. learned that the USSR was installing missiles in Cuba in this book by noted political figures RFK and Schlesinger.

A worthy read despite being required reading for me...

41.A Man on the Moon: The Voyages of the Apollo Astronauts by Andrew Chaikin and Tom Hanks:

Based on hundreds of hours of interviews and research, this book is a sweeping and epic account of the history of American space exploration from 1961-1972.

42.A Rumor of War by Philip Caputo:

Caputo's memoir of fighting in Vietnam is disturbing to say the least. Brutally honest, Caputo's tale vividly showcases the lengths humans will go to survive in wartime.

43.Vietnam: A History by Stanley Karnow:

Readers will get a look at the Vietnam conflict from both sides in this novel, which blends personal tales and political history to explore the intricacies of this military conflict.

44.Give Me Tomorrow: The Korean War's Greatest Untold Story–The Epic Stand of the Marines of George Company by Patrick K. O'Donnell:

Facing Chinese soldiers, subzero temps, supply shortages and forbidding terrain, the soldiers of George Company survived in the harshest of conditions– a amazing tale that is brought to life in O'Donnell's book.

45.The Glory and the Dream: A Narrative History of America 1932-72 by William Raymond Manchester:

Covering four decades, this book details some of the major conflicts at home and abroad that shaped these years of American history.

46.The Dead Hand: The Untold Story of the Cold War Arms Race and Its Dangerous Legacy by David E. Hoffman:

In this Pulitzer Prize-winning book, readers will learn all about the history of the Cold War, as well as the legacy of nuclear, chemical and biological weapons it left behind.

47.From Jim Crow to Civil Rights: The Supreme Court and the Struggle for Racial Equality by Michael J. Klarman:

Take a look at Civil Rights from a judicial perspective in this book that examines the interplay between the U.S. Supreme Court and race relations in the United States at large.

48.Fire and Rain: The Beatles, Simon and Garfunkel, James Taylor, CSNY, and the Lost Story of 1970 by David Browne:

Learn not only about four of the iconic albums of 1970, but also about the world-changing events that these tunes were the background for in this gripping tale of the turbulent start to the 70s.

49.The Looming Tower: Al-Qaeda and the Road to 9/11 by Lawrence Wright:

In this book, readers will learn about the long history of terrorism leading up to the attacks on 9/11, which Wright argues may have been prevented.

50.The Forever War by Dexter Filkins:

New York Times foreign correspondent Dexter Filkins shares what it's like to be on the front line of the conflicts in Iran, Pakistan and Afghanistan, showcasing a violent battle that isn't like to end anytime soon.

Hmmmm....all I have to do is write a non fiction about a period in American History. I wonder if the study of Rick Springfield's music on American girls of the 1980's would count? :)

There's your list class....now go forth and READ! Oh, and go forth and write!

A review you can use: Harry Potter

2011-07-18T18:41:00.000-05:00

Hello all!

So over the weekend I viewed the final chapter in the Harry Potter movie series. No, I didn't go to the midnight show Thursday night, and no I didn't dress up. At my age, the only appropriate costume would have been Professor Mcgonagall, and as much as I love the great actress Maggie Smith, it's too blame hot outside for long black robes and a witch's hat. However, I did see the movie yesterday, and, now that the series is done, I should give my readers a full on review of the series, both in book form and in movie form. So, if you are a Harry Potter fan, or if you are coming late to the party, have no fear. I'm not going to insult anyone, and I'm not giving anything away.

Book one: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.

Harry is an orphan boy of 11, and is pulled from his miserable life at his aunt's home to the world to which he was born: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We learn along with Harry, about the legend that surrounds him, and we, like Harry, are wide eyed and innocent and we are grateful for his friends, Ron and Hermione. While the structure of the book is somewhat weak (lots of passive voice...) the story is most definitely there, and we leave wondering if Harry can possibly survive the confusing world of wizards.

Movie One:
Director Cris Columbus does a very credible job of showing us Hogwart's through the eyes of a child. It's brilliant, it's somewhat scary, but it's ultimately a magical place and it's where we wished we belong.

Book Two: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Harry is twelve, and eager to return to Hogwart's after another brutal summer at his awful aunt's home. This time around we see cracks in the happy face of Hogwarts as students are turned to stone by some unseen enemy. Harry actively takes the role of hero for the first time.

Movie Two:

Daniel Radcliffe grew up a lot between the first two movies, reminding us just how short childhood is, even for young wizards. This time around we get an image of the young man who became The Dark Lord. The casting is spot on and hilarious with Kenneth Branagh guesting as Gilderoy Lockhart, the narcissistic professor of Defense against the Dark Arts. (They really do have trouble filling that position. Wonder if I have the right qualifications?)

Book Three: The Prisoner of Azkaban

I don't know why, but this is the book and the movie I most over look. It's year three, Harry's miserable at home, so he runs away, hopping the Night Bus (Hilarious...) to meet up with his school mates. But there's a murderer on the loose, the evil...evil Sirius Black and he's out to kill Harry...or is he?

Movie three: New movie, new director, this is the oddest paced movie of all of them. Alfonso Cuaron takes a stab at the franchise and gives the hereto for fun and adventure movies and very dark and almost classic horror film feel. Maybe it's distracting, I'm not sure, but still, this movie is loaded to the teeth with action, new characters, and a very funny bit involving an old rat.

Book four: The Goblet of Fire

J K Rowlings must've started getting paid by the word because this is the book that exploded...in size anyway. But every word is worth it. If you must skip the first three books, go ahead, but your Harry Potter reading MUST start with this fourth book....mostly because much of the book didn't make the movie. The first book in which a main character dies, this is also the book that teachers hesitate to hand their children. While the kiddies ages 8 and under can devour the first three books, this one is a step up. There's far more evil and darkness in this one...and an outright murder. While my son read it immediately (I believe he was 9 or 10) I did make my daughter wait a bit to read this one.

Movie Four: This movie brings us yet another director, Mike Newell, which is good because if the dark shroud was cast over movie three, this one would be a full on horror film. By far and away the most violent movie of the series thus far, there is much that is not for the wee ones. Harry is 15...with all that that delightful age brings. There's an awerness of girls...and a friction between him and his closest friends. It's very dark movie and we haven't even gotten to the point where Edward Cullen dies, becomes a vampire, and moves to Forks. (For those of you into the Twilight movies as well as the Harry Potter movies, you are laughing your faces off right now, aren't you?) This movie is a real edge of your seat, not kidding around thriller, and if you're a grown up, this is one you won't have to be ashamed of liking.

Book five: The Order of the Phoenix

This is the book for those really deep into Harry and his world. There's so much in there about prophesies and whatnot, it almost feels like a thesis on wizardry. However, much is revealed, now that Harry is 16, about his parents' deaths, and about just how evil the Dark Lord really is. Set aside some time, and keep a notebook close...you're going to need both. That said, it is the first book where Harry accepts the mantel of hero and really runs with it. He might be a snotty know it all teen, but darn it all, he's the Chosen One! The otherwise very hopeless mood of this book is eased a little by Rowling's most hilarious villain to date: pink clothes, kittens and all.

Movie Five: Like watching some very bad cliff notes of your favorite book. New Director David Yates guts the lengthy tome, dumbs down the lore, and basically gives us a lot of explosions without a lot of purpose. By this time in the series, we're feeling a little insulted at the attempt. Go ahead and watch, but if you're pressed for time in your life, you could just read the book and skip this one.

Book six: The Half Blood Prince

Rowlings brings back some whimsy, be it fairly dark whimsy, and gives us a bigger glimpse into Harry's parents' lives. All seems a bit better at Hogwarts, now that those in power believe Harry's claims about the Dark Lord, but we readers realize that we are now on a story spiral that is gaining in momentum as it rolls to the inevitable...we think...end in book seven. Personally, I read book six in one sitting...finished it at 2 in the morning, and screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" for about ten minutes. Rowlings is, frankly brilliant, and this book opens that obvious fact wide to those few unbelievers left. I've never been surprised by an ending in a book...not like this.

Movie six:
Someone gave director David Yates a second chance, and he did much better this time. Guess he reads his Facebook posts. movie six captures the angst of a boy becoming a man who is supposed to be a hero...but who really just wants to make out with a girl. Harry now is battling forces far darker than he ever imagined...forces no one can predict. The end of the movie is as startling and as heart wrenching as the end of the book.

Book seven: The Deathly Hallows

Harry and his two besties leave Hogwarts as the Dark Lord takes control of everything. They are now on a great quest. They don't know what they're looking for, or where they will find it, but all the friends Harry's made along the way in the past years turn up to help him.

The ending of this book is so surprising...so shattering...that I couldn't put it down, but I had to...to catch my breath. From a writer's perspective, this might possibly be the most perfectly written book ever. As a person who's been a casual follower of Harry Potter, I was ready to read the next chapter to find a Harry triumphant...the Chosen One. What I got was so much more than that. Romance writers take note: This book makes us realize that it's all about love in the end.

Movies 7/8

Director David Yates brings us home with this two part conclusion. I'm so happy they did two movies...there's simply too much ground to cover. So gold star to the powers that be for giving the fans what we want: A real send off. Very little is spared and even less is strayed from in these two films. There's a lot of death...so bring the hankies because by this time you've fallen in love with even the homeliest creatures. Yates and screenwriter Steve Kloves do an excellent job of bringing the spirit, not just the words, of the book to life. Even those who have read "The Deathly Hallows" multiple times are going to be on the edge of their seats...to the very last moment, and sweet, winsome moment that brings us all full circle, lets us sit back in our seats, and heave a sigh of relief.

Darn it all...now I want to read the book again!

As an author, I wish I could have come up with these seven books. As a reader, I'm so glad J K Rowlings did.

Will there be anything as big as Harry Potter again? I don't know. I doubt it. Many book series have been attempted on film, and have, one way or another, flopped. There aren't many book series that can sustain three films, much less seven. Even Star Wars stopped at six, and frankly, that middle one in the new movies is just horrible and pointless.

So kudos to J K Rowlings for her persistence in getting her story published. Kudos to the hundreds of cast and crew members (No British actors were spared in the filming of these movies! LOL!) who worked for endless hours on these movies. And Kudos to Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, and most of all Daniel Radcliffe, who grew up in front of millions, took on all the evil in the world, and made us believe in heroes (and magic) again.

Kickin' it old school...

2011-07-13T06:11:00.000-05:00

Good morning!

So my book signing on Friday night was pretty great! I'd forgotten, mostly because I sometimes avoid mass social contact, how fun it is to just talk to people, especially when I'm talking about one of my favorite topics: My writing.

It still amazes me, after three years of relentless marketing, just how many people that I know on a personal level do not know I'm an author. So I guess, until every person I know owns a copy of my books, I'll be doing book signings! (Do you hear that everyone...buy the darn books! LOL!)

Anyway, yesterday I started yet another new job. I have learned, in the past several weeks, that, from a writer's standpoint, I had the DREAM JOB, for a number of years. I had a boss who didn't care if I wrote, played on facebook, built a website, during the work day. (Of course, he also didn't care about things like offering health insurance, giving me a raise, letting me use my vacation time, treating me with any sort of human respect...)

What I'm getting at is that this job, more so than any other I've had, does NOT seem to appreciate computer use outside the very strict guidelines of the job. So that's going to take some getting used to. But what's really going to take some time for me is going back to my roots when it comes to writing.

Yep, lunch and break times mean one thing now: Opening a notebook and grabbing a pen.

It's how I started...back in school when I would write during a boring class, but in the computer age, I've become one of those who cannot seem to write if my flash drive isn't engaged. I think many of us use the same excuse, don't we: We can't write, we're not at our computer.

But that's not the case. We can WRITE anywhere so long as we have a writing tool and something to write on. I've written notes on church bulletins, (during the sermon...), on napkins, and once on a paper coffee cup. Not my best edited stuff, to be sure, but writing that moved my book along.

So now, with the new job I will have to write when I have free moments and use the basic tools of the trade until I can get home and put it on the flash drive. I'm not going to let this change in my schedule stop me, not a chance!

Now the rest of you...go forth and WRITE!

Say it loud, say it proud!

2011-07-07T10:56:00.000-05:00

Good morning all!

Well, I have four more precious days until I go back to work...have I written anything new? No...

Am I disappointed in myself? Sort of...except I have been working at the business of writing, getting ready for a book signing and what not, so it's not like I've been sitting on the couch watching TV. Although I have been doing that a lot too.

Anyway, I have to share this little bit with you because so many people seem to have a sort of mental block when it comes to marketing themselves as authors, that this was a bolt of light over my head.

Two nights ago Hubby and I were buying glamorous things like deodorant and a new handle for the toilet when we decided we needed a coffee. This is our one luxury, buying coffee at the big honkin' super popular coffee place. (Not sure I can use the name...let's call it CAR DUCKS.) We didn't go to our usual Carducks, where they know us and half the baristas have a copy of Dream in Color, because that Carducks was too far away. We needed COFFEE NOW!

So we stopped at the Carducks conveniently located in the store. It wasn't crowded, because who's buying coffee at 8PM? So Hubby and I struck up a conversation with the woman behind the counter.

I should say, she struck up a conversation with us.

She looked at me and said, "So are you an author?"

Now, this isn't usually how people open conversations with me. It's not like I have a halo around my head that reads "AUTHOR" in neon. (Gee...you'd think Sharper Image would come up with something like that.) What I did have was my t-shirt that reads "Careful, or you'll end up in my novel."

Authors, writers, we all have that t-shirt, right? Maybe you got is as a gift, but more likely you bought it for yourself from Cafe Press. You bought it hoping someone would see you wearing it and ask you if you were a writer.

I've worn that shirt a hundred times and no one said boo to me. But this woman, this one person, got me talking about my books...and you know YOU are the best marketing for what you write because YOU love what you write more than anyone else. So we chatted for a few minutes, I gave her my titles, told her about my book signing on Friday (Martha Merrell's Books 300 West Main Street, Waukesha. 6:30 PM. BE THERE!) and told her to buy my books for her Kindle.

I got home feeling more rosy about my writing than I have in weeks. (Let's face it...I can't quit the job I haven't started just yet...sales aren't quite there...ahem...) and I realized it was as simple as wearing a shirt.

We all wear shirts, right? It's a requirement to get in to anything pretty much, so we have a shirt. Why can't that shirt tell the world what we might be too shy to say? I WROTE A BOOK. I WANT YOU TO BUY IT!

To that end...my friends, I encourage you to do two things:

1) Wear your swag! Got something that mentions writing? Wear it! Got business cards with your website on it? Drop it in those free lunch bowls.

2) Don't have swag? Stop by my store at It's a Writer's World/Cafe Press. I make these shirts and coffee mug designs for fun...not for profit, but it's an easy way to get the world talking about your writing without saying much of anything!

3) (I know I said two things...but here's one more thing) BUY MY BOOK!

Now...go forth my friends and write!

Not obsessing about sales while writing another novel!

2011-07-05T09:59:00.000-05:00

Hello all!

So a friend of mine, Author Edie Ramer has had an amazing year of publishing and sales since she released her first novel, Cattitude. I recently read an interview she did and something she said really jumped out at me.

Edie's advice to new authors who e-publish is to worry less about about promoting the book you've published and worry more about writing the next book.

As a person who recently e-published Lies in Chance last month, I have to say that I am OBSESSED about sales. And I'm more obsessed about what I can do to boost sales. (Let's just say I'm not quitting my job just yet.) So every day I check sales on all three sites.

Amazon: Buy Lies in Chance HERE

Barnes and Noble: Nook readers buy Lies in Chance HERE!

Smashwords: Sony users, and those who do not have electronic readers, buy Lies in Chance HERE!

And I worry that not I'm not doing enough to get the word out there. I blog, I keep up to date on Facebook, Twitter, myspace, and email. I'm doing a book signing for Dream in Color this coming weekend. What else can a new author do?

Well, according to my friend Edie...the best thing I can do is WRITE THE NEXT BOOK!

Like most people, I'm very limited in the amount of time I have to spend writing, and all things writing. And that time will be even more limited next week when I begin yet another new job. (3rd shift...not a good fit. I'm back to the 8-5 grind and I'm looking forward to it!) What this means is that when I do sit down for author time, I can't be going from site to site worrying about sales that are or are not there. I need to focus on the next book.

I think Edie's advice is good for us all. I look at her success in the last year and the woman has done nothing but publish. And she is rocking! (And she now gets to do it full time I believe.) So she is walking the walk and it's working for her.

It takes discipline because once you publish a book you want to know that everyone out there is reading it, loving it, leaving positive reviews on the sites so others will read it. You almost have to put blinders on. Publishing one thing doesn't mean you're done writing, does it?

So I'm struggling to ignore the websites. I try to check no more than twice a week. And I try not to be frustrated. Meanwhile, I'm working on the next big thing, hoping that by getting a new title out there, my name and writing will be more readily recognized.

One more thing that helps all new authors: Reader reviews. If you read a book, and you liked it, ESPECIALLY if you liked Dream in Color or Lies in Chance, PLEASE leave a reader review. It's the only way a new author survives! (Got a book out there...let me know. I love reading, and I'm happy to read and leave reviews!)

Meanwhile....go forth and WRITE!

Like a good deal? I've got one just for you!

2011-06-30T17:00:00.000-05:00

Hello fans and friends!

Here in the States it's 4th of July weekend. It's a nice long weekend where we Americans celebrate everything that's fantastic about our country...Freedom, Family, and Fireworks.

Oh, and coupons! We love our coupons!

In the great American tradition of coupons, my friends, I've decided to issue a coupon on Smash words for "Lies in Chance."

For those of you who shop at Smash words, you can purchase "Lies in Chance"
for 25% off the already low price of $2.99 if you use the following coupon code:

ZQ29M

The code is NOT case sensitive, but it's going to save you money. I'm running this coupon today through Friday the 8th, when I culminate my opening book weekend with a book signing at Martha Merrell's Books in Waukesha. (If you're in the Waukesha, WI area that evening between 6:30 and 8:30 PM, look me up! I'd love to see you!)

So, enjoy the holiday weekend, my American friends. And everyone...enjoy a nice savings on a a book I think you will enjoy!

20 questions and a book from Marie Tuhart!

2011-06-30T06:00:00.000-05:00

(A heads up to everyone...parts of today's blog is not really suited for those under the age of 18.)

Hello all!

So today I'm sharing with you an interview and an author who walks a bit on the wild side! Let me introduce you to Marie Tuhart.

Marie has agreed to subject herself to my 20 questions, so my friends, sit back, relax, and get to know Marie Tuhart!

1) Tell us a little about yourself...(feel free to offer up any or no biographical info)

I currently live in the San Francisco Bay area, and have a day job that luckily next year I'll be able to give up and write full time.

(Sarah: My readers know that right now I'm very jealous of you!)
2) When did you begin writing?

I originally started writing when I was 16 while in high school, I didn't serious think about romance writing until many, many years later.
3) What inspired you to become a writer?

Other authors I read. They created great characters and worlds I wanted to do that.

4) Do you write with a soundtrack for whatever you're working on, or do you write in complete silence?

No music, I usually have the TV going on in the background but rarely hear it.

5) When do you find time to write? What's your schedule like?

My schedule is complicated, my day job requires me to be to work at 5:30 a.m. and depending on the day of the week I don't get home until 3 or 4 in the afternoon. I usually writer on my lunch hour and on weekends, if I'm under deadline I'll write in the evenings.

6) Do you snack while writing, and if so, what's you're favorite snack?

I try not to snack while writing, but if I do it's usually nuts Almonds or Pistachios

7) Did anyone in particular inspire your main characters?

Not really

8) I've spent some serious time on this blog talking about the possibilities of e-publishing. What are your thoughts on e-publishing?

E-publishing is still up and coming. While I don't believe print books will ever go away, there are going to be more and more e-books available. It's only going to get bigger.

(Sarah: Well said! I could not agree more!)

9) Favorite Book/movie/TV show?

I can't narrow down to one book, movies The Mummy movies, TV shows: NCIS, CSI, Hawaii 5-0

10) Favorite Actor and actress?

I really don't have a favorite one

11) What are you reading right now?

Right now I'm reading Shelly Laurenston shifter series, this author has a great sense of humor in her books.

12) Starbucks or Caribou coffee?

Neither, I'm not a big coffee drinker

13) Most hilarious childhood memory? (Example...the one time in my life I was trying to be cool, I got on my cousin's pony and tried to show off my riding talents. Pony walked me under the clotheslines and nearly decapitated me.)

Oh wow, I'm not sure I have one.

14) If ______________showed up on my doorstep and asked me to run away with him, I would.

I'd answer this one, but I know I'm not that impulsive so it wouldn't matter.

15) What would you like readers to take away from your book?

An enjoyable read. I want readers to enjoy my books, they're fantasy and they should enjoy the fantasy.

16) How about a little blurb from your book, Saddle Up?

At loose ends after her best friend's wedding, Angie Davidson needs a vacation, so when the gorgeous yet aloof co-owner of the Quick Silver Ranch insists she stay to explore their sexual attraction, she agrees. Though she eagerly bows to his commanding touch in the bedroom, Jared's distant air after lovemaking sparks too many bad memories. Dare she yield to his sexy persuasion and prove he has nothing to fear or will he abandon her like everyone else in her life?

Eager to explore Angie’s vulnerable, submissive nature, Jared plans two weeks of toys and other naughty play. However, the last time he reached for a woman—mentally and physically—she rejected his dominant streak. Jared has no intention of letting Angie that close, no matter how sweetly she shivers beneath his hands.

Can two bruised hearts discover a way to make their tantalizing escape into the perfect way of life?

17) What are some of the best/worst movies made from novels and why?

Not a clue, I tend to stay away from movies made from books.

18) If your life story was made into a movie, who should play the part of you?

If this ever happened it would be a very dull movie, my life is unexciting.

19) Fill in the blank, if I had a million dollars I would ___buy a house________________.

20) What's next for you?

I currently have another book with my editor at The Wild Rose Pressfor the Scarlet Rose line, and I'm working on another book for the Champagne Line for a special call for submissions.

Well thank you Marie for playing along! Friends, if you'd like to know more about Marie, you can see her current books available here. Remember, Marie's writing is very spicy, so readers 18 and over only, please!

Below is an except from Marie's upcoming book, Saddle Up. Those of you 18 and over, please enjoy!

Angie drank in the feeling of his body against hers. His hardness to her softness, and part of her wanted to melt in a puddle at his feet, another part wanted to be bold and daring.

“Becca mentioned that you're closing down the ranch for a while.” Maybe a little flirting would work.

“Two weeks. There needs to be some renovations done, and the staff needs some downtime. It was a good time to do it with Tyler gone.”

“How much can be done in two weeks?” She thought back to when they were renovating the offices she now worked in, it seemed like it took months and with every little problem the workmen came to her.

“A lot, if you know how to motivate people.”

“Really?” Angie tilted her head up and fluttered her eyelashes. “And how would you do that?”

The corners of Jared's lips tilted up. “Lots of money.”

Okay, subtle flirting wasn't working with him. Her fingers trailed over his broad shoulder, to his neck, where she stroked his dark brown hair. His hand tightened on her lower back, bringing their hips together. And Angie swore she could feel his hard erection. Good, he wasn't immune to her.

She let her fingers skim from his neck, down over his shoulder blade, down his spine, over his well-defined ass, until she could rest her palm over his butt cheek. Then she squeezed it.

“Behave.” His breath brushed her ear and he swatted her ass.

“You hit me.” She couldn't believe it; he actually smacked her on the ass. Not that it hurt, but heat flowed through her body making her nipples grow harder. She’d never realized a little swat could make her so hot.

“I'll do worse if you don't behave yourself, Angie.”

“Promise?” The word was out of her mouth before she even realized it. The music ended, Jared escorted her back to the table and pulled out her chair.

His palms cupped her cheeks, tilting her face up to his. “We'll talk later.” He dropped a hard brief kiss on her lips before striding away.

Angie's heart skipped several beats while she observed Jared cross the room. She put her fingers to her lips and sank down onto the chair with her core pulsing with need and her panties wet. If he met her later, they wouldn't be talking if she had anything to say about it.

Lies in Chance is NOW available for your Kindle!

2011-06-20T18:21:00.000-05:00

Good evening all!

Okay, if you own a Nook, you can buy Lies in Chance here!

If you own a Kindle, you can buy Lies in Chance here!

If you have a Sony e-reader, or like getting your books on Smashwords, OR you don't have a device, but you'd like to download the book to your computer, you can do that HERE!

Got questions? I'm here to help!

Because it's all about me!

2011-06-20T15:07:00.000-05:00

Hello all! So my friend and critique partner, Linda, did me the favor of doing an interview with me about "Lies in Chance." Her very fresh, quite fun blog is here, but I wanted to share the interview with you all because 1) It's all about me and 2) Linda delves into places in my brain I haven't even visited in a while...like how many degrees of separation I have between myself and Kevin Bacon!

Enjoy!

An Interview with Author, Sarah Bradley

Good Evening:
I'm happy to share with you an interview I did with an amazing author, who also happens to be my dear friend and critique partner. She's also the famed author of "Dream in Color" (available through Amazon, Barnes and Noble and The Wild Rose Press) and is currently debuting her second book, "Lies in Chance", a romantic suspense novel (available at Smashwords, Barnes and Nobles and very soon, Amazon). Sarah is a gifted writer, a funny, funny person (and I mean that in a good way), and someone I'm proud to call my friend. Enjoy the interview, get to know Sarah and buy her books! And stay tuned to my blog for a review of both "Lies and Chance" and "Dream in Color".

1. Tell us a little bit about yourself, Sarah!

I'm a mom of two teens, a wife to my college sweetheart husband, and and "mom" of three rescued cats. I love watching movies, reading books, and finding humor in every day stuff. (Hey, if you can't find the humor in our world today, you're just not trying hard enough!) I recently started working third shift, mostly because I was bored with sleeping the required 8 hours a night. I find sleep deprivation is a great attitude adjuster. Plus, I'm home during the summer to annoy my kids!

2. Your latest novel, "Lies in Chance" has just been released at Smashwords, Amazon and Barnes and Nobles. Can you tell us a little about a bit it and which readers it will appeal to?

I think, I HOPE, "Lies in Chance" will appeal to a lot of different readers! I set out to write a book that had strong, interesting characters and a storyline that was interesting for a broad range of people. While I would not recommend it for children under the age of 16, I think there are a lot of elements that will appeal to men and women alike. If you like action, adventure, mystery, romance, and a bit with some horses, this is going to be the book for you!

3. What inspired this story?

When I was a kid, my favorite TV show of all time was "Emergency." There was something about the friendship between John Gage and Roy DeSoto, and then the strong female character of Dixie McCall, that sort of stuck in my brain. By the time I was 13, I was going through a VERY awkward, and rather lonely span in my life. I wanted to create a world where people like those three characters not only existed, but were actually my friends. (And yes, I started writing this book when I was 13) Obviously, the main character grew and changed as I did (though I'm 43 now and Shara is forever 24) but the character and relationship of Bryan, Drew, and Molly is exactly as I thought of it 30 years ago.

As for the name "Shara" it's not an accident that it sort of looks like my name. I really didn't have a name for my main character when I started writing. I used my name because, well, this was the world I was creating for myself. But one day, during a Summer Marching Band tour, one of the chaperones asked me for my name. I said, "Sarah...with an H" because people constantly misspelled my name. She wrote down, "Shara." And a character name was born!

4. When did you begin writing and what inspired you to become a writer?

I have wanted to be a writer my entire life. When I was seven, I was reading the "Little House" series and I thought, "If Laura can do it, why can't I?" My first stab at writing was "The complete illustrated history of the Civil War." I was not quite 8. The book was four pages long...8 sentences. I illustrated it myself. I do not draw well. My first real stab at writing came when I was 13 and I began work on what now is "Lies in Chance."

The biggest force in my life as a writer was Ermba Bombeck. I read that lady's column every single day growing up. (And then I read Ann Landers'. That might explain my twisted sense of humor in the face of the world's general dramas.) The other half of my writer's brain belongs to Erma. I love writing about just finding the humor in the mundane.

5. I know you have a busy life outside of your writing career. When do you find the time to write and when do you feel the most inspired?

At the moment, since I began working nights, I haven't written much that is new, sad to say. I think all writers have this harsh balancing act we have to do between real life work, family, commitments and our wonderful world of writing. And it gets more challenging when you do publish something because then there's the marketing, blogging, and whatnot that you do during that writing time. So I write when I can, which is rarely a set time of day. I keep a notebook close to me, because I never know when an inspiration is going to hit me. I get inspired in different ways, but I think I work tough plot issues out through music. The two books I've published both have very strong soundtracks, all made up of songs I played over and over and over again while trying to sort out this plot point or that. The family knows not to bother me if I've got a song on repeat.

6. Any particular rituals you must perform before writing (i.e. getting a muffin and coffee from the kitchen, having your favorite cat in the room with you, etc.)

If I'm writing "for real" (not blogging or marketing or other fun type stuff) then I'm at my desk, door closed, candles lit, iPod locked onto the soundtrack of whatever I'm writing. Jasper (our oldest cat, who just turned one) is allowed in the office, but TacOcaT (my son named this one in a palindrome) is not because Taco climbs to the top of my desk and knocks things off the top shelf on to my head.

7. Writer's block? Do you get it and if so, how do you resolve it?

My Critique partner (Tee hee) will tell you I get writer's block endlessly. I write in spurts. If I'm blocked, I simply shut down. I've tried writing through it, but what happens, for me, is I wind up with pages and pages of deletes. So I try to keep my eyes and ears open to what around me might solve my problem. I will think the issue through, and I will play music with lyrics I think will point me in the right direction. (Music is such a big part of my writing.) I've been known to abandon my cart in the grocery store the minute my block breaks so I can get to a desk and start writing.

8. What do you love about the writing process and what do you dislike?

In my own personal experience, I love that I can work out my own issues through writing. If you've read "Dream in Color" you'll see a lot that is simply me. I have issues with my mother's terrible cooking. I have issues with finding the place where I shine, where I belong. These are constant themes in everything I write, I'm finding. "Lies in Chance" started as a way to sort of get back at the world for the loneliness and alienation I experienced as a kid, but beyond that one story, I find that my writing helps me work through a lot of my issues. So that part I love.

If I had to find something I didn't like about writing, it's the blank page. I never ever thought I had more than one story in me. Turns out, I have a lot of stories in me, but getting them started is the worst part. I have a general picture in my head of what I want, but the physical act of putting the first words on a page is so hard!

9. Any favorite characters from your novels?

Well, who doesn't love those hot, tortured men? I fall in love with my leading men every time I write them. I've been in love with Bryan Jacobs since I was 13. I have been in love with Jesse Alexander (the main male character in "Dream in Color") for nearly a decade. Up next, I'm falling in love with a formal NHL player named Quinn Murray.

Beyond that, I've put so much of myself into my leading ladies, that I love and hate them the same way I love and hate myself some days. I did give both Shara and Ramona ((Dream in Color)) some talents I wish I had. Both can play the piano brilliantly, and both have great hair.

10. What books inspired you as a child? What do you read now?

As a kid I lived in a very small town with a very small public library. I read every kids' book in that library in two summers. (Remember, this was before YA was such a big deal) I loved "Little House" "Encyclopedia Brown" and anything by Judy Blume and Beverly Cleary. Joan Aiken's books rocked my world because they were so dark and awesome. I didn't know kids' books could be so very, very dark. (Go to your library NOW and read "Wolves of Willoughby Chase." GO RIGHT NOW!)

Nowadays I don't read nearly as much as I want to, but if Phillipa Gregory, Billie Letts, or Adriana Trigiani writes it, I will make the time to read it. Also, I've just finished a BRILLIANT new novel by a new author...maybe you've heard of it? "A Lonely Sky" I know so many super talented writers that I will always read new material. A new author is very, very exciting.

11. What is the best advice you have received or read regarding the writing process? What is the worst?

There was a TV show once, it might have been one of those after school specials or it might have been the TV show "Head of the Class." (I somehow can hear Howard Hessman saying this) The line was "A writer writes...always." As much as I hate to write what I know I'm going to delete later, the shear act of writing is so vital to a writer's life.

I think the worst advice I got was "write what you know." Okay, it is important for writers to write what is real to them, what they've researched, and what makes sense. That might be why Drew and Bryan and Molly teach at small school that is quietly, and unofficially controlled by a church. I grew up in a parochial system. My husband has worked for years in the car dealership business. But had I kept "Lies in Chance" in the realm of my experience, it would be a very boring book!

"Write what you know" is not terrible advice, it's just that writers tend to take it literally, and that keeps a lot of good story ideas locked away. Sure, my comfort zone is about being a suburban mom. But that's not a setting that's going to transport a reader away from real life. Not unless you toss in a little thing I like to call FICTION. Both my novels are grounded in who I am but then vector off into a world where I'll never live. And that's okay.

12. What are you currently working on?

I've got a novel "Clean Ice" in the works (very early works). That's a romance between a former figure skater and a former NHL player. I'm also going to listen to my mother's advice and publish some of my own musings on real life. "Scenes from an Awkward Childhood" will probably be the first edition I put out there, and I'll share stories about how I wrecked my bike while watching a one armed man build a house; how my mother's terrible cooking affected me; and why I hate ponies but love horses.

13. How has the e-publishing experience worked for you?

If I would read the directions it would be way smoother! I had it very easy because I tapped the very talented Nicola Martinez, the woman who did my cover for "Dream in Color" to do the cover art for "Lies in Chance." Nicola is brilliant and I love her. Then I got the aid of the wonderful folks over at 52 Novels (electronic formaters) Amy and Christina were the pictures of patience!

I should say I would NEVER have had the guts to e-publish if I hadn't met author J. A. Konrath at a writers' conference last year. I had the privilege to sit next to him at a book signing and he regaled me with the joys of e-publishing while he shared his peanuts with me. I owe that man a lot!

14. What are some of the best/worst movies made from novels?

I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if you think you have the whole story by watching the movie you are wrong. I love Gone with the Wind, and I love the movie. But the two are two completely different experiences.

"Wuthering Heights" is my favorite book of all time. That book has been done as a movie a bundle of times, and I believe the worst...(and I'm going to get smacked for this) is the 1939 Lawrence Olivier version. Everyone is too darn clean and shiny! Meanwhile, (and get ready to smack me again) my favorite movie version is the 1992 film starring Ralph Fiennes.

Much debate goes on about the most recent "Robin Hood" movie, and I'm going to through in and say that I LOVED the Russell Crowe film. (Okay, I love Russell Crowe.)

15. Most romantic scenes in a book or movie:

I tend to find a ton of romance in some of the oddest places. Best kiss in a movie? Well, I hate to give Tom Cruise for any credit, but that kiss in "Top gun" is spectacular. I blame it on the gauzy curtains. Ruined the concept of perfect kisses for me. other than that, I find facial expressions and voice tone to convey romancde far more than some overt setting or nudity. Case in point: the movie "Rough Magic" starring Russell Crowe and Bridget Fonda. Very odd movie. BUT there's a moment in that movie, when they kiss, that is ridiculously erotic, and a big part of that is Russell's very quiet, almost whispered line. I could go on about Russell Crowe...like him or not, the man can convey some pretty deep emotions with very little. Going back to "Robin hood" there is a moment where he and Cate Blanchett say very little to each other, and yet there is something so deep, so completely romantic, just in an exchange of expressions. It's breathtaking. I really hope those two do more work together! As for books, I think I read "Wuthering heights" over and over because I like to impose my own romantic ideal onto Heathcliff.

For more traditional movies, "Pride and Predjudice," (the one with Keira Knightly) has some amazing, romantic scenes. The two best, the first one where she and Mr Darcy are dancing for the first time. Romance defined. The second, when Mr. Darcy is crossing the field to claim her. (Is it getting warm in here?) I think movies are better able to convey the sheer emotion of romance better than books because, well, movies are visual, and there's music, and the people are all super attractive....and now I have to go watch "Pride and Predjudice" again!

16. Book (besides your own) that you'd like see made into a movie:

Well, mine, yes. And "A Lonely Sky." I'd be sobbing through the whole thing! As for other books...how about if we get Snookie's book made into a movie? Why not? She's got a clothing line, she's got a big book deal, she's got a free trip it Italy. What has she done?

Sorry, I'll get off my soapbox.

Interview interrupts: I can't believe you put me and Snookie in the same paragraph together. LOL!

17) Favorite authors:

Phillipa Gregory, the Bronte Sisters, Joan Aiken, Judy Blume, Adriana Trigiani. And the list could go on.

18. Why write? What keeps you motivated?

I have always told stories. I love to tell stories, and I love to make people laugh. So I write my little humor pieces to make people laugh, to lighten their load, and that way I lighten mine. As for the heavier fiction, well, we all have a dark side, right? I think I see a picture, maybe of an actor (which is how the character in my upcoming book came to be) or something and I'll make up a story about that picture. Once I have a character's story, I have to write it. I have to share that story with others.

Well, that and I'm simply worthless when it comes to cooking, cleaning, knitting, sewing, cross stitch. Many have tried to teach me, no one has succeeded. We all have to do something, this is what I do.

19. Favorite bookstore:

Well, I got a Sony e-reader recently, so I'm havning out at the Sony store a lot. And Amazon, of course! for actual print books it's all about Barnes and NOble or half Price Books.

20. Fill in the blank: If I couldn't be a published author, my next dream to come true would be:________________________________________________.

A Rock Star...or a movie critic.

21. Congratulations on your two published novels, "Dream in Color" and "Lies in Chance". What's next for author Sarah Bradley?

Thanks Linda! This has been a blast! Right now I'm trying to get "Scenes from an Awkward Childhood" put together for e-publishing and then I'm going to hit "Clean ice" hard. I've got a lot of ideas for that one...mostly because I've been listening to Night Ranger a lot!

22. And finally, the most important question, how many degrees of sepration are you from Kevin Bacon? I am three degrees...in two different directions.

I met Randy Mantooth in 2000. Randy starred with Sonny King in a terrible movie called "Agent Red." Sonny king was in "Murder in the First" with Kevin Bacon.

I met Rick Springfield in 2001. Rick was in "Hard to Hold" (NOT a great movie.) Rick was in Hard to hold with Tracy Brooks Swope, who was in The Big Picture with Kevin.

AND NOW...

2011-06-18T17:10:00.000-05:00

Hello!

If you are a NOOK owner...you may now buy Lies in Chance at Barnes and Nobles Website! Click on the title...buy it...BUY IT NOW! :)

Kindle owners, your turn will be Monday at some time. (Random button clicking during the publishing process WILL delay publication. Let that be a lesson to you all!)

For those of you who prefer to get your books from Smash words, or via a pdf, I will be publishing on Smash words early next week.

Thank you!

And the winner is....

2011-06-17T16:38:00.000-05:00

Hello readers!

Thank you for taking the time to read my interview with new author and good friend Linda Schmalz! Her first novel, A Lonely Sky is available electronically through Smashwords, and will be available through Amazon very soon!

As promised...drum roll please....our winner is Bobbi!

Bobbi, congrats. I will be sending you an e-copy of Linda's book just as soon as I figure out how to send it to you! :)

The rest of you...have a great weekend and stay tuned...I am going to have a huge announcement of my own next week sometime!

A Review you can Use: A Lonely Sky by Linda Schmalz

2011-06-16T06:00:00.001-05:00

Good morning!

As promised, my friends, I'm going to give you the pure, unbiased opinion of a book. If you've read my movie reviews in the past you know, I'm not about to steer you wrong.

A Lonely Sky by Linda Schmalz:

At nineteen, Julia Steele's future seems bright. She has a steady and kind boyfriend, is enrolled in the college of her choice, and currently is on a two week tour of Germany. Enter Sam Lyons, a thirty- year- old, down-on-his-luck, handsome and charming British actor whom Julia falls for. They steal away to London for a brief love affair until Julia must return home. They promise to reunite in London in the fall. But when Sam encounters financial ruin and blackmail at the hands of the spoiled, misunderstood socialite Deirdre Lamont, he finds his only option is to marry her. At home in Chicago, Julia discovers herself pregnant with Sam's child. Devastated by Sam's marriage, and determined to keep her baby, she marries her high school boyfriend, who offers to raise the child as his own. Years later, Sam and Julia accidentally reunite in New York, and when misunderstandings clear, the flame of passion rekindles. But will Julia sacrifice her family for another chance to be with Sam? Will Deirdre tire of her ceaseless attempts to hold onto Sam, or finally give in to the one who truly loves her? When Sam is diagnosed with cancer, decisions become imperative.

Spanning twenty-six years in the intertwining lives of Julia, Sam, their friends and enemies, A Lonely Sky explores desperate choices and infinite emotions of the heart.

My friends, it isn't often we get to share something beautiful with others, but this is one of those moments for me. Author Linda Schmalz's first novel is a delicate mixture of romance, humor, and drama that holds you by the heartstrings and doesn't let go. A Lonely Sky spans oceans, continents, and decades, yet the heartbreaks and triumphs of the main characters are as truthful as if they were your best friends, or you yourself.

Julia Steele and Sam Lyons' dramatic love story is the central focus, but no less important are the fully developed, and just as entertaining secondary characters lead by the unforgettable Dierdre Lamont. The author breaks up the drama with perfectly placed light touches of humor. Each of her characters is a living, breathing, fully functional human that could live right down the block from you..especially if you happen to live in the upper crust of English society

A Lonely Sky is one of those rare novels that doesn't set out to change the world, or comment on society, and yet it does. As you read this story, you'll find yourself unable to put it down. When you reach the end with tearful satisfaction, I promise you, you will not forget this book or these characters. And in that, I think you will look around you and see things just a little bit differently. I know I did.

I give this book a well deserved four books out of four! (Bring a hanky and read the book!)

A Lonely Sky is available at Smash words (click on the title for the link.) and will be available on Amazon very soon. But you might win an e-copy here FREE if you leave a comment with your email address! (You do NOT need an electronic reader to win. Doesn't hurt, but you don't need it. The book will be sent to you via email file.)

Ready....set....COMMENT!

The winner will be drawn on Friday.